Calvin Tilokee 0:02
Hello and welcome to the midlife crisis podcast. I’m your host Calvin, also known as Revparblems on Instagram. I’m excited to do this talk show with my best friends from high school and college. Steven Mikko, what can you expect on this podcast? Well, I like to call it a talk show for Men of a Certain Age. We’re not quite old. But we’re the kind of guys that have to make sure we don’t miss our alcohol on a night out, you know, we’ll chat about current events, trending topics, and things that we just need to get on our soapbox about knowing else. We’ll be laughing the whole time. And ladies, don’t worry. If you ever wanted to know what your husband or boyfriend talks about in the man cave. Stick around. And now keep in mind, we’re old enough to remember when Parental Advisory stickers went on CDs. We don’t know what CDs are. You’re too young for this podcast. Speaking of which, make sure you have your headphones in. It’s NSFW as these kids say. We’ll be bringing that flavor to your weekly on your way to work while you’re shaving. Or just sitting around wondering lay it backwards. But let’s get this show on the road. Hello and welcome to midlife crisis podcast. I’m your host Calvin cave, as always, with my boy Mikko bringing that flavor to hear on a weekly basis. Steve is getting his chest hair braided so he won’t be with us for a little while. On today’s episode, we’ll be talking about dating, relationships and maybe a little reality TV with Kelsey and Evan have Why are you so obsessed podcast? Of course, we’ve got all your favorite segments Chris Rock quote of the week. I don’t know that shit. I don’t like that jerk. And as always get off my lawn. But first, that was the week Mikko.
Mikko Miller 1:34
Chill, chill, chill is nice, quiet week. I did watch the all star game this past weekend. That was slightly entertaining. That’s probably the highlight of my weekend to be honest with you. You know, team LeBron team KD they drafted up their own players and basically add like, I think first to 170 type of game. I think that’s the format that they were doing that with Really? Yeah, it’s every quarter, whoever wins, you have to win each quarter, then your foundation that you’re playing for makes or they win $150,000. So there’s an incentive to win each quarter. And then at the very end of the game, it’s the first to 170 is unlimited. So it’s like street ball, the 170 basically, and LeBron Seaman raising like $1.2 million for the Thurgood Marshall Foundation, and the losing team by like a half a million. So it’s not like anybody lost the contest. Right. But yeah, no, that was kind of entertaining. Like a different format. I think they started it last year. So
Calvin Tilokee 2:37
no different. Yeah, that’s it. Yeah, they’ve been playing with it, you know, over the past few years, just kind of switching it up. Since I didn’t watch it. It kind of threw me off because I’m just used to NBA also always be in Valentine’s weekend. That’s true. That is true. You know, and I think you know, obviously with everything, just sports in general, I’m just so off because all the seasons are just been shifted. And it’s like, people start to talk about all our I noticed on Saturday, and I was like oh, when is it? Today? Yeah, exactly. I’m on Twitter like Yo, yo, Hutus three point contest, like that should be done stuff, of course.
Mikko Miller 3:15
Like, like, there was any question, right? Right, man, that dude is so he is crazy. Automatic. And I still I can’t believe that people go around saying like, he’s not that great for players. Like, the guy fucking shoots like 80% out of fucking You see, he’s not one of the greatest players. I mean, people are crazy. You know, just be hating people. Just be you know, I
Calvin Tilokee 3:35
mean, they say stupid shit when they start eating, so it’s less true than attention to that. It’s good. It’s good. Um, this weekend, actually, I got into the biggie documentary on Netflix.
Mikko Miller 3:48
I don’t know if you watched it. No, I haven’t. That’s on my playlist though. That’s on my next one.
Calvin Tilokee 3:52
Yeah, yeah. It’s good. It’s good. It’s worth watching for sure. What makes this one a little different is one of his boys in his entourage. And back in the day, he had a camcorder so a lot of the footage of getting is like stuff you’ve never seen anywhere else. But what really got me about it man is like you’ve probably heard is like a famous freestyle he had in Brooklyn like when he he just kind of rap battle this dude. this other guy was supposed to be like the neighborhood King. And I think he was like Biggie must have been like 15 at the time. And he comes out and just completely bodies this do and he sounded like the biggie You know? And that’s what really got me. Yeah, I was like at 15 he already had that flow. And like that authority on the mic and I was like, Yo, I couldn’t believe he was that good that young.
Mikko Miller 4:40
It was not meant for greatness. I guess. I mean, yeah, DMX or Jay Z being that kind of skill that that that particular age because I knew they were like doing battle raps and competing and just like basically bodying each other at that age. So
Calvin Tilokee 4:55
yeah, I actually heard a story about the MX this guy used to work with he had a A friend in the music industry, like this guy used to sign artists and stuff like that. And he talked about when he went to Yonkers to try to sign DMX. And you know, these people gather in for like these battles and stuff. And they said DMX pulled up and the whole crowd just kind of like, parted. And it was walking in. Yeah. And the guy was like, I didn’t even need to hear him rap. Just the respect he got from that happening. I knew this guy had to be good. Yeah, it was like it was crazy. And then you’ll enjoy this one. I had a quick interaction. On Twitter. You know, Ryan Clark used to play for the Steelers.
Mikko Miller 5:37
Yeah. He’s an analyst now. Yeah, yeah.
Calvin Tilokee 5:40
Yeah, I like him. I like his, you know, his sense of humor and everything. So I follow him on Twitter. I don’t know if you saw this weekend he tweeted one artist would you listen to every day for the rest of your life? If you had no other choice? What one artist would it be? And he picked Drake. So you already know my feelings. I was like, What? So I responded and I was like, I was like, You got biggie. You got puck. You got NAS Jay Z and his mouth. I could pick Drake. You know who I expect him to respond he actually respond. He did. What he said he was basically he’s like he can go bar for bar with any of those guys, and he’s more versatile. I was like, I don’t know about the bar for bar. But I’ll give you the versatile because none of these other motherfuckers really tried to sing. Right? Or they didn’t have a you know, a Jamaican alias one day they just wake up and if you’d like did Jamaican
Mikko Miller 6:39
Drake did that. give you that? Puerto Rican. I think he was with bad bunny. He had like a little Puerto Rican accent. Yeah, yeah. Wrapped. Yeah, yeah. He’s like, Drake.
Calvin Tilokee 6:52
I’ll give him that. Yeah.
Mikko Miller 6:55
As far as bars that’s that’s a little crazy talk right there.
Calvin Tilokee 6:59
Yeah, Nah, man. But listen, I you know, I will say we talked about it last week with a guest last week. So if you’re listening, Kevin yard from Wolf and unicorn, I’m trying. Okay, I listened to Drake today. I went on Spotify. And I just hit Drake and I hit shuffle. And I’m like, I’m trying. I got through about 20 minutes before I had to shut the shut off. But again, better. I’m getting better. Because the last time I tried to listen to a Drake album, I got through 12 minutes, like three songs. And I was like, I can’t listen to this guy. I’m done. So since you’re the Drake fan, since you like Drake, I need you to make me a greatest hits. Let me skip through the bullshit. Yeah, let me hear Amy here is best and then I’ll judge off that but
Mikko Miller 7:44
it’s gonna be a lot of collaboration. little window. There’s a lot of the songs that I love. Bars go has a little way to let you know. Yeah,
Calvin Tilokee 7:54
I gotta. I gotta. I gotta step it up. You know what other people on the track it can’t be singing this shit. Yeah, I’ve been coming up. He had to he had to come up. Yeah, okay. Okay.
Mikko Miller 8:04
Do I got I got a homework assignment. I got it.
Calvin Tilokee 8:08
Love it. So as I mentioned at the top, we have some very special guests in the man cave. Tonight. We’ve got Kelsey and Evan of the Why are you so obsessed podcast? And I’ll tell you how I met these two ladies. I’m on Instagram. And I kept seeing these comments on our posts. They were really funny. And I’m like, these girls got a sense of humor. And then I listened to a couple of their shows. And I was like, yep, I think we need to talk to them because they definitely got a good sense of humor. Their podcast is all about reality shows and dating relationships. So I figured you know what, it’d be cool to have two old married guys. Talk to two young single women unmarried about relationships. What could go wrong? So please welcome to the man cave, Kelsey and Evan, host of like so obsessed. Welcome. Hey, guys. eare What’s up? Thank you so much. That was a great intro.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 9:04
We’re excited to be here. That was really nice. Thank you guys.
Calvin Tilokee 9:07
very welcome. happy and excited to have you here.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 9:10
But um, y’all don’t like Drake?
Mikko Miller 9:13
knew it. I knew.
Calvin Tilokee 9:20
No, no. Mikko like Drake.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 9:23
You tell him what you don’t like drink?
Calvin Tilokee 9:25
I’m not gonna go that far. I don’t like him. I don’t dislike him. Okay, I just don’t think he’s as good as people have told me. He is.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 9:33
Okay, fair, fair. I also run
Mikko Miller 9:37
as a rapper.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 9:38
Yeah. I watched the biggie documentary last night.
Mikko Miller 9:41
Okay,
Calvin Tilokee 9:42
okay. How’d you like it? Or did you like it?
Why are you so obsessed podcast 9:44
I thought it was okay. Hmm. I liked the parts with his mom because I feel like we’ve like seen so much with her with like the other movies and stuff but never really heard from her. So I don’t know. I liked that part.
Mama knew nothing.
Calvin Tilokee 9:58
I know. I know. have hit the dry mashed potatoes in his bedroom.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 10:03
Oh my god.
Damn mashed potatoes.
Calvin Tilokee 10:10
For those of you listening and haven’t seen it yet, it was crack. Just in case Yeah, like no biggie is in the cracky
Mikko Miller 10:22
spoiler alert.
Calvin Tilokee 10:24
Right, right, right. You know, he’s only been dead since 97. So
Oh, man, but yeah, let’s, let’s get to know the two ladies a little bit. Tell us a bit about yourselves where you’re from and how long you guys know each other?
Why are you so obsessed podcast 10:41
Um, yeah, so we’re from Calgary, Alberta, Canada. And if you guys don’t know where that is, it is in Alberta near Banff. It’s kind of like a hot spot to go to in the mountains. It’s beautiful. So we’re really lucky. And we met playing ring at and I’m going to go ahead and assume these guys don’t know what ringette at is.
Mikko Miller 10:59
That’s a good assumption. That is
Why are you so obsessed podcast 11:02
what would be your best guess.
Calvin Tilokee 11:04
I mean, I thought you said roulette. So
Why are you so obsessed podcast 11:08
what’s your guess though? Like if you it’s a sport So there’s your tip.
Calvin Tilokee 11:13
Ring yet you said rang at
Why are you so obsessed podcast 11:15
r i n g e t t.
Calvin Tilokee 11:17
I’m gonna go with some version of horseshoes.
Mikko Miller 11:25
I’m gonna go with a hula hoop competition.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 11:32
We live in Canada. Do you want to change your answer? We
live up here. It’s on ice. So
it’s all women. It’s all nice. Strategically though it’s played like basketball.
Strategically
not but it’s on ice. We’re in skates. We’re in full equipment. But we play we play zone defense and man on man.
Yeah, so it’s same positions as khaki pretty much. We’ve got the five players of goalies, same ice we play on. But you know, I’d like to think that it’s a little more difficult and that we’re better skaters is when I hear compared to women’s hockey
Calvin Tilokee 12:10
Is it? Is it ice soccer?
Why are you so obsessed podcast 12:13
No. So it’s like a ring. The stick doesn’t have the blade on it. It’s like a hockey stick with no blade, but it has like a fancy tap on it. And then like the ring is like, I don’t know the size of your palm. But there’s a ring a rubber ring. So you have to stab it in the middle instead of just stopping it which is why it’s a bit harder.
Calvin Tilokee 12:35
I see. Okay, I’m sorry. I thought you guys are still giving us hints. Yeah.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 12:48
My girls
Calvin Tilokee 12:51
I mean, stabbing ice. I’m not sure what could possibly go wrong.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 12:55
The stabbing
Mikko Miller 12:57
was kind of like lacrosse. Kind of.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 13:02
You know what you guys look up a YouTube video after the episode. Let us actually you know, scratch out we’ll send you one. I don’t know what you guys are gonna find on this.
Calvin Tilokee 13:09
We don’t want you to but we want your highlights. I mean
Why are you so obsessed podcast 13:14
yeah, and if you follow hockey, they once said on CTV that I disputed Matthew Lombardi. Yep.
Mikko Miller 13:22
All right.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 13:23
Shit.
Yeah, we met playing ring at and we’ve been friends for about 14 years. Best Friend’s
BFF. Yeah. Quite a while. How about you guys? Like maybe your your listeners know. But you so you guys when you met like just in school or was Yeah. Before that.
Mikko Miller 13:48
Now we met. We met in college. Yeah. Yeah, we stayed on the same floor. You know, when you get out of the elevator at this dorm room. You? Right. And then I’m like, second to the last room. And Calvin I believe on the other side of the hallway. The very last room.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 14:05
Door meet so like you weren’t?
Calvin Tilokee 14:07
Yes. Right. Right. Yeah. Like basically like across the hall.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 14:11
Did you guys get into trouble?
Calvin Tilokee 14:15
Not really. I wouldn’t call it I wouldn’t call it trouble.
Mikko Miller 14:19
Or a bunch of honors? Yeah.
Calvin Tilokee 14:24
Yeah. I mean, we got in trouble with the opposite sex a few times. Definitely. troubling school. Yeah.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 14:34
You know, General Trouble, trouble.
Calvin Tilokee 14:37
Oh, yeah. Yeah, I mean, out of Mikko, you want to go into it about how we both lost our scholarship one semester.
Mikko Miller 14:51
Well, for me, my side of the story, my side of the coin is like I had never smoked or drank or really did anything. In high school because I was trying to get a scholarship to go to college. So when I got the scholarship for college, I got this newfound freedom. And my roommate was one of the bigger weed smokers in college. So, you know, he would get us into, you know, smoking weed and drinking and smoking and doing all this kinds of stuff. And I had to maintain a 3.0 to keep my scholarship. And I think by midterms, I had a 1.25.
You know, but it was just a bunch of like, you know, we never got drunk on a Monday before, let’s do it. We never got high on a Tuesday before, let’s go. It was always like those kind of games where, hey, we never smoked for three days in a row. We haven’t got drunk four nights in a row. So we were just doing like, dumb stuff like that. And, you know, unfortunately, like, studies got pushed aside and
Why are you so obsessed podcast 15:53
secondary. I feel like, um, people that don’t drink or smoke or like, experiment with that stuff in high school, tend to overdo it in college. Cuz they’re like, wow, I’m finally free. Things that like, you know, for us. We definitely tried all that stuff in high school. Yeah, high. Even though we played sports and couldn’t get into it that much. We still like dabbled in it. And I also feel like I know the like, in the US, the legal drinking age is 21. Well, where we live, it’s 18. So I was going to, yeah, we’re going to high school hung over. It’s kind of funny. Like, it’s kind of weird that you guys have to push it off so long that you guys kind of lose your minds and like drink way too much in college when we’ve been. We’ve been hung over for years, baby.
Mikko Miller 16:42
Yeah, it’s kind of weird to have that stupid saying where, you know, how are we sending 18 year old to war, and yet they can’t even like buy
Why are you so obsessed podcast 16:51
a drink. All the time. I truly don’t understand it. And you guys are in college for three years and legally can’t drink. It’s just ridiculous. I don’t get it. It makes no sense. And we’ve had like, we have fake IDs when you’re like, pretty young, like fake IDs at 16. And then 18. Meaning it wasn’t like a big deal.
Mikko Miller 17:11
All right. That’s crazy. I never either never never did that shit. Never had the urge to drink until college. It was just like, you know? never know. I played sports.
Calvin Tilokee 17:24
I gotta remember. We were athletes.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 17:27
We see we’re bad. So okay. Sorry, we interrupted you a bit. So tell me about what scholarship you were on and how you almost lost it.
Calvin Tilokee 17:36
We were both there on academic scholarship. So we’re fucking nerd. We were nerds. I was a really good soccer player. So I played all through high school, I was going to try to walk onto the team. When I got there. They actually canceled the team. The year I got there, for whatever reason? I don’t know. Yeah, that’s why I didn’t really get into that kind of shit in high school. Because I was athletic. I was always playing a sport. And I felt that, you know, I would probably play at the next level. So I was you know, like, serious. Yeah. And then when that didn’t happen, I wasn’t didn’t end up playing soccer at the school. I was like a fucking we enjoy in college. So I put on the the freshmen 15 and never lost it.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 18:18
hard, it’s hard when you go to college, and all of a sudden you’re on your own. You’re just eating like shit. And yeah. But you know, you know, it’s similar to us. Like, I feel like kids in sports, it’s so much harder to get into trouble. I think even for me, like I went to Canada Winter Games, and I like didn’t go to my after grad because I had tryouts in another town away The next morning, you know, so I was in my diet coke with my prom hair and my prom makeup at 8am. And, you know, it’s just like, there’s so much more trouble you can get into as a kid. But if you’re playing sports, it’s so
much less five days a week, you’re busy. And two weeks out from any tournament, the coaches are like, you have to be on this diet and you have to not drink and all that kind of stuff.
Mikko Miller 19:02
It’s kind of weird, though, when we played sport, we never had a diet right? Like no one. No one ever told me to do it. Someone else playing basketball or running track. It was never like you got to do that so that they would just like show up. You know?
Calvin Tilokee 19:14
We didn’t. We didn’t even have like, stretching really, it was just like, yo, Nah, I was like, yo, just do a couple quad stretches after this. Like, it’s not like it is now or at least not not not the progress we were at, you know.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 19:33
We play competitive sports. So we had dryland training. And then we had like ice times all weekend. And we also because we were a double a team. We were the Calgary team, the city team. So we had to travel a team. So we traveled like every weekend.
Calvin Tilokee 19:45
Right? Right.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 19:46
And we we flew all over Canada to play tournaments and stuff. So it was
Calvin Tilokee 19:51
your time to find find time to get drunk.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 19:58
When you’re over
Calvin Tilokee 19:59
What’s, what’s the funniest story you guys have together?
Why are you so obsessed podcast 20:06
So we were thinking about this and you know, we have a lot of funny stories that I don’t think would be very funny to some people, but we do have one.
Funny. Oh, this happened when I was 19. And we were just getting into the partying scene. I mean, the, the big bar scene and myself and Kelsey, we bought tickets with our girlfriends to go to this show. And do you guys I don’t know if you guys remember. lmft Do they have like some big hits back when? 2009 Yeah. Party Rock Anthem shot. Yeah. Okay,
Calvin Tilokee 20:40
hold you think we are? I mean,
Why are you so obsessed podcast 20:46
for me, I’m just like, they weren’t bago the day they were okay. Okay,
Calvin Tilokee 20:51
so
Why are you so obsessed podcast 20:53
Mikko, they’re kind of like, the kind of nerds. They’re big nerds.
Calvin Tilokee 21:00
She’s not wrong about that. Yeah.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 21:03
So we bought some tickets. We loved lm IV. Oh, this was like, great. We’re all 19 ready to party. I was like the girl in the group. Who was the one making those weird tank tops that like match. That’s like, we love lmft No, you know? Yeah, yes. So I made them all for my group. I had like six girls there. Were all there. And then I was gonna buy some tickets. I was dating my first kind of serious boyfriend. So I bought two tickets for him and his friend because they want to go to last minute they can’t go. I’m like, okay, and I honestly, you know, you’re 19 like, I hated my boyfriend. He was a loser. I don’t even know was dating him. He’s kind of hot on the BMW great. This is not gonna
tell us and I and like our girls go. And I’m like, so happy my boyfriend our friend are going we brought two other of our girlfriends. And it’s at this nightclub called Tantra. And it’s just like the classic two level nightclub that’s kind of boozy and lmft goes on are hammered. They play all their hits. All those song The party rock and we’re like making our way slowly to the front. Yeah, that’s all. And then in my back my head I’m like, Yes, my boyfriend’s on here. I’m going to like dance. I can like let loose. I don’t have someone over me. Like, this is awesome. And like, I think I don’t know if you’re, I think using the time not sure. But we’re just gonna have like, I was never single. Well, yeah. And they start playing this song. I was gonna ask you to bring up the song that anyways, whatever. They have this song. Have you heard the song? I am not a whore.
Calvin Tilokee 22:56
No, I haven’t.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 22:57
Yeah, yeah. It just it basically just goes like, you know, their songs. I am not a whore. And it repeats then then it just is like, but I like to do it. Anyway.
Calvin Tilokee 23:13
Yeah, it has a good message.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 23:17
Grabbing up on stage, they’re asking for someone, I put my hand up the Grammy up on stage, I’m dancing. They push me over, bend me over. And I’m just like, grinding on them like, and it’s like, I am not a horse. And they’re just like, smacking my butt. Like. And then I look up mid song. And I see my boyfriend coming walking through the crowd, like he’s parting the sea. And like, tells me standing there like jaw drop, just looking at me looking at him looking at me. And I’m just like, I don’t know what to do. I can’t stop dancing. So I’m just like, I am not before. Keep going. He looks at me and just like drops his hand and storms out the other way and is like what the fuck? And I’m like, Okay, this is fucking insane. But like I keep going. I’m trying to shake it off. I want to break up with him and you
Calvin Tilokee 24:16
that’s a good way to do it.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 24:18
I’m also mortified, but I’m also super happy to be mortified. Yeah, I should be more like mortified, but I wasn’t. And so we continue on with the night partying with them in their little VIP area. The one guy was like, let me take you upstairs. Let’s like have some like personal time.
Mikko Miller 24:38
Hey,
Why are you so obsessed podcast 24:39
so we got pairs. And it’s like the way the stairs are. There’s like one the right side of you have to go up the left side you have to go down like it’s just like an almost like an escalator. Right. So I’m going up with him and he’s holding my hand but his name sky blue, the other guy’s red.
Calvin Tilokee 24:57
Right
Why are you so obsessed podcast 24:59
and he’s holding My hand bring me up to like the like, very special area, and my boyfriend is coming down. And he looks at me. Like, right. And so we’d like to go upstairs. We just go up there and like sit down to have another glass of champagne and you pretty much just like comes up to me and is like, Evan, this is the last time you’ll see me. I’m leaving. This is what you’re about to leave. I’m like, okay, like the guy over here, man. Like, get the fuck out. Yeah, he’s like, get the fuck out. And then there’s more of a story of like, it’s funny now. Yes.
Calvin Tilokee 25:42
Yeah, yeah.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 25:45
The whole time is just like, like laughing slash being concerned in the background. And then he comes back and he’s like, fine, I’m done leaves. Two minutes later. He’s like, okay, Evan, this really done a live feed. Come with me right now. And I’m like, I just like, have no words at this point. Like, I’m literally just sitting there like, with no words. And so he just turns around and leaves again. Anyways, me and Kelsey end up going home at 2am. And I have a new t shirt and signature on it with his phone number. And safe to say just Hey, we got we broke up the next day.
Mikko Miller 26:26
Seems like you missed a big part of the story there.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 26:30
No, yeah, it was bad. Are you judging?
Mikko Miller 26:40
Oh, no, no,
Calvin Tilokee 26:42
he just sounds it sounds like we’re missing a key part of the story. Like there’s like a few hours that are unaccounted for.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 26:49
Yeah, there might be
Mikko Miller 26:53
pics or it didn’t happen.
Calvin Tilokee 26:56
That’s that exclusive stories only available for Patreon.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 27:02
Right yeah.
Calvin Tilokee 27:05
Fantastic. Shit, man. I can’t fuck it. That story. I don’t know about you Mikko.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 27:12
hazy? kelsen I woke up just started bursting out laughing in the morning like Jesus. You know, like, I think that when you’re growing up in those times, like you just shouldn’t have I don’t think anyone should have a boyfriend until you’re like 30 No,
not 30 but you know, like before 25 I was just like, I didn’t care. I just was like, I want to go do my own thing. And you guys are like, you’re just like dragging me dead.
100% and like Kelson I have like a very like, saying a special relation sound like really weird. But like we have like, we want to hang out with each other when we were like 23 instead of her boyfriends. It was just like more priority.
Calvin Tilokee 27:53
I could understand that I could understand.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 27:55
Or is that like never like where you’re like, I’d rather deal with my bros and this chick. Well, there’s
Mikko Miller 28:00
that same bros over hoes or bros before hoes but you know.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 28:07
Did you have girlfriends in college?
Mikko Miller 28:09
Yes,
Calvin Tilokee 28:10
I did. Yeah,
Mikko Miller 28:11
I’ve ended to Yes. I the
Calvin Tilokee 28:13
only story I have that could even remotely compete with that. And I mean, like my would be the preview before your movie.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 28:24
Like 10 other stories like that?
Calvin Tilokee 28:26
Oh, my God, love it. Patreon, getting their money’s worth this. But the only story I had it was it was it was homecoming. And I was with this girl for a couple of years there in college. And you know, had my girlfriend we go to this homecoming party, she went to the bathroom. We were in the gym, right? So they got got the music playing Whatever. I’m standing there. Actually, I was actually standing next to Michael’s brother. Yeah, he was close to me. And I’m just standing. I’m not dancing, don’t do anything. This girl comes up to me. And she just puts her ass on me and starts dancing.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 29:01
And it was looking good. For sure.
Calvin Tilokee 29:05
It was one of those moments where I was like, I know I’m supposed to move. I know I’m supposed to stop this from happening. But I didn’t. I was just stuck. Yeah, it was kind of like, that doesn’t happen to guys too often. Maybe I should enjoy this for a few minutes. You know? I enjoyed it for a little too long. And all of a sudden, I I just get shoved from behind like, you know, like Ray Lewis came up and tackled me from behind. I was like, wow, I turned around my girlfriend pushed the shit out of me and she start storming out. So of course I had to go I had to go chase her and you know make up and blah blah, blah. But yeah, it was one of those moments where I was like the fuck are you thinking? And then the other side of me like you know exactly what she was thinking through to get a girlfriend.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 29:59
for you guys. Okay. After. Yeah, we
Calvin Tilokee 30:02
ended up being okay after
Why are you so obsessed podcast 30:03
Nice. Yeah, you can do things when you got a girlfriend the bathroom.
Calvin Tilokee 30:11
You gotta if she gonna be in the bathroom, she got to be sick. Like Yeah. She’d been there for a while I got some time.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 30:19
Yeah, yeah. Love it. Love to see it.
Calvin Tilokee 30:24
Oh man. Alright, so what what’s the worst first date you ever had?
Why are you so obsessed podcast 30:30
You know what I haven’t had that many first date. So I’m going to let Evan take this one. I know she’s had a few. Oh, man, let me think. Okay, so I am. I guess even compared to Kelsey, I have been on a lot of first dates. I was single most of my 20s I wasn’t like the girl with all the boyfriends like one after another. I was even into online dating with like, PLF. Were you guys into that? Plenty of Fish? No, no. Have you heard of? Is that Canadian?
Calvin Tilokee 31:00
No, I have heard of it. I’ve heard of it. But
Mikko Miller 31:03
I’ve been. I don’t
Why are you so obsessed podcast 31:05
know. That’s Christian mingle, man.
Calvin Tilokee 31:09
I actually always wondered about Christian mingle, because the tagline is, find God’s choice for you. So yeah. So if you sync up with somebody, and it’s God’s choice for you if it don’t work out, is that a sin?
Why are you so obsessed podcast 31:23
Oh, shit. I don’t know. I that’s the devil’s work. I hear.
Calvin Tilokee 31:32
Oh, baby, I’m good.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 31:34
Okay, the drug addict. I actually got one or the guy that was late. And it was because he was at speed dating. Okay, yeah.
Calvin Tilokee 31:43
It’s like 40.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 31:45
Okay, so I’ll tell you my first one. My first one was Kelsey, and I went to Vancouver. She the golden angel that she is I got into a school in Vancouver for graphic design. And I wouldn’t go alone. So she came with me because I was like, I don’t want to go and she’s like, I’ll go if this means you get to like, go get an education. Anyways, just want to give a quick shout out there. But we were in Vancouver. And I was on I forget what I honestly think this might have been POS I think it was Yeah, so this is like not a POS ad. We. So we, we whatever, hit it off online. And I don’t think we talked long enough clearly because he picks me up. And we’re gonna go out for some drinks. And the first thing he says, I sit down and he puts his hand on my thumb goes, Evan, like I really liked our conversation and like, you seem really special to me. So like, I really want to tell you the truth. I was like, Oh my God, he’s gonna kill me. And instead almost equally as bad. He was like, I have a cocaine addiction. I have been addicted for years. I’m over $50,000 in debt. And my fiance left me in the middle of the night A month ago.
Know what you guys do before first dates, but I really scope them out where I think everyone just goes for it.
I will tell you this. I’ve tried both tactics. And it’s very I know, I’m just trying to I tried both tactics because I’ve done the ones where you talk and I’d love to hear your guy’s insight after this. We’ve taught you know the ones where you talk for two weeks a month over attacks and then you finally meet up or you do the one where you go Hey, you look guys bola What’s your name? What’s your hobbies? What’s your work? Want to go for dinner tomorrow? And if God says that, I’m like, seems cool, let’s just do it. So like we have so much to talk about on the day. Right? So this was my strategy going into this one he sits down does that he’s driving while he tells me this and I’m just like, holy shit. We get to the drinks place he orders me a triple gin and tonic. I was like tell you a gin tonic which just comes He’s like, yeah, she’ll get a triple gin and tonic bola. I’m like, What the fuck? He periodically every like 15 minutes to go to the bathroom. I’m using quotes. And then gives me like another hardcore talk on the way home and is like, you know, like, it means so much to me that you didn’t leave. I’m like, Yo, I didn’t have time to leave. I go love to but like I did not have time. Yeah, and I don’t want to be like, rude. I’m a nice girl. He drove me here which is even more fucked up. He I let him drive me home, which is such a bad idea in hindsight, but yeah, he that did not go well. But um, Kelsey, bringing in the other thing, just the beginning of another data hack of online dating was I had a guy that It was over 30 minutes late and he said it was because he was having a lot of fun. Um, speed dating, he said,
Mikko Miller 35:07
at least it was honest.
Calvin Tilokee 35:09
Yeah, you’re definitely getting a lot of honesty. You know, a lot of women always say, Oh, we want men to be honest, you know, so you can’t say these guys weren’t honest with you.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 35:20
100% You’re right, but also a guy who ended up sending me the middle finger photo.
Yeah, he said, he sent her the middle finger photo after she was just honest and said, You know, I’m I don’t, I wasn’t feeling it. And then he’s under the middle finger and she messaged me, she’s like, I’ve never been honest again. Wow. Um, do you guys have any receipts?
Mikko Miller 35:48
I’ll let you go with Mikko bad first date. See, I’m not the type that will just go on like a online thing and go on a date. Even though I tried it once. I typically do the other route where it’s like getting to know talk here talk there via text message or person then you ask the person out on a date if you’re feeling it. Yeah, like that’s kind of like how I go about doing.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 36:11
I just go all in.
Mikko Miller 36:13
Yeah, but I did go. I did do match comm one time.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 36:18
Okay, I feel like you have to pay for it. Yeah, my friend met their person
Mikko Miller 36:22
there too. I didn’t pay for mine had like a little free week. So I made the most out of my week. I set up a date. You know what’s cool, but she ended up like being obsessed playing dodgeball, no joke. Love, dodgeball, and dodgeball was her life and mind you she was like, late
Why are you so obsessed podcast 36:44
when she said
Mikko Miller 36:46
she was fit, but dodgeball. I mean, everything was about dodgeball. every topic, every conversation, every joke. Everything was
Why are you so obsessed podcast 36:55
tense hobby.
Mikko Miller 36:56
She was hot, but just a little too weird for me. So that night ended quick. And then first night like usually, you know, we try to hit a home run on the first night.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 37:07
For sure for sure. Do you feel any differently about women when they sleep with you on the first day?
Mikko Miller 37:13
I do not. Either way,
Why are you so obsessed podcast 37:16
depends on how you feel about the person. Exactly. Yeah, sure.
Mikko Miller 37:22
How about you, Calvin?
Calvin Tilokee 37:23
I don’t it doesn’t change my opinion. The only I could say there was this girl. I wouldn’t call it really a relationship. It was kind of dating on and off for about a year and a half. She always complained. She’s like, you know, you know you don’t respect me because I slept with you on the first night. And I was like, I didn’t respect you either way. So
Why are you so obsessed podcast 37:47
yeah, no, nothing. Yeah. No, I
Calvin Tilokee 37:50
had nothing to do with that. I we weren’t getting married. We weren’t getting married either way. Right. Right, right.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 37:57
I’m just like, piggybacking on that. Do you guys think that men should pay for the first few dates?
Mikko Miller 38:03
Yeah, I always do. But, you know, it all depends. I’ve been with multiple dates where women have paid and insisted to pay for like, I just sat there and just like stared at the check and just, you know, played like, I didn’t see it there. I always offer up to pay on a first date. I’ll always offer to pay on any date that I go to specially if we’re not in a relationship. But you know, people take offense.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 38:27
Yeah, like, for me, if a guy asked me out, I expect him to pay for the first date. But if we go out again, like I’ll pay for the second date, for sure. Especially if like I’m feeling I’m like, but the thing is, like if I’m not feeling him, I think I’ll just offer to split it.
Mikko Miller 38:41
Oh,
Why are you so obsessed podcast 38:43
you don’t owe him anything? I don’t want to owe anyone anything.
Calvin Tilokee 38:47
Yeah. Yeah. So I will always offer to pay the first date. I think it’s the right thing to do is to shiver thing to do, right? Totally. But I at least want you to pretend like you were thinking about paying do
Why are you so obsessed podcast 39:01
the fake the fake pull from retained to find out what it’s like really last.
Calvin Tilokee 39:10
At least at least fumble around for your purse.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 39:12
Yeah. Oh, we can split it. And then they’re like, No, no, I got it. I’m like, Okay. Yeah,
Calvin Tilokee 39:17
exactly. Exactly. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you know, but I will say though, when I took my wife out on our first date, she insisted on splitting it. She wouldn’t let me she would let me pay for the bill. And for the same reason, she’s like, you know, I don’t want you to feel like I would do anything or whatever. But, like, insisted, like, grab the check away from him. Like I I took it kinda like shit. Maybe she’s just not that into me like
Mikko Miller 39:47
she insisted. Yeah.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 39:52
So when you went on that first day with your wife, like, did you know that she was the one?
Calvin Tilokee 39:57
on the first date? No, we worked So we’ve spent quite a bit of time, like getting to know each other. Yeah. And then I asked her out a couple of times. She said no, the first few times. So I was like, maybe she’s just, she’s just not that into me. She just want to be friends or whatever. So like, Okay, fine. But she kept coming around. And I was like, Alright, I got to shoot one more shot. If she says no, then then we’re friends. And I’m cool with that. Yeah. And I asked her out for dinner like that same night. And she said, Yes. And I was like, Really? You know, I didn’t. I play cool at all. Like, I didn’t have I had no game about me at that point. It was like a word.
Mikko Miller 40:35
Okay, yeah. Right now.
Calvin Tilokee 40:39
Right. Exactly, exactly. So,
Mikko Miller 40:42
yeah, I mean,
Calvin Tilokee 40:43
I didn’t know she was the one but I was definitely interested. But we went on a couple of actual dates. And then we pretty much got together. And it was just like, spending time with her. It didn’t take long. It took maybe a couple of months. And I was like, Yeah, she’s the one.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 40:58
I love that. So we were I had some questions. I was gonna ask you guys cuz you guys are both married. So how long did you guys date before you moved in? And then how long until you proposed?
Calvin Tilokee 41:10
Huh? Okay, Mikko.
Mikko Miller 41:12
All right. Damn. How long before cuz I had my own apartment. So she moved in with me. Pretty much. Maybe after two or three months, it was pretty hard. Just to let you know, my wife and I met on a blind date.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 41:30
Oh, my God,
Mikko Miller 41:32
who set you up? So my brother and his wife. It was my wife. And my brother’s wife. They were like co workers. So at the time, they were trying to find like a suitable partner for her to go out on a date with and they were like, hey, why not Mikko? You know, he’s single. He’s just being a Whoa, whoa. And you’re single, you’re in your 30s you make good money. You live in LA? What can you do? Oh, Evan,
Calvin Tilokee 42:03
what was that song? I’m not.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 42:06
I’m not Oh, I like to do.
Mikko Miller 42:12
My 30s No. And, you know, I was just basically wanting through, I had left a nine and a half year relationship. Oh, I did not want to jump into a relationship. So I was single for like four or five years. And I was just doing what I did here in LA. And you know, on New Year’s Day, we got on a phone call, or just Hey, let’s just go. You know, go out to dinner. You know, my brother set it up his current girlfriend at the time they set it up. So we met. She was a little bit late. And I was like, ah, I don’t do this whole late thing. Like I like people being on time. But our conversation went well, we were. But she was speeding. Yeah, just be dating. She was speed dating? No.
No, but no conversations were good. And I just at that time, I was still seeing other people. And I was open about that. I’m like, you know, I’m not really looking to like lock things down with. And if she was cool, like, you know, we exchanged numbers. I just like, you know, I’d like to call you and if you want to go talk, we’ll talk but you know, right now, I’m not looking for anything. When I think like a month later. You know, I just decided after talking to with I think we talked every night afterwards since then. And then I was like, you know, I can have a conversation with this person. She has a good sense of humor. Let me go try to lock this thing up. And then it went smooth after that. And I proposed not even full year later.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 43:45
Oh, and how old were you at that time?
Mikko Miller 43:50
Jesus, I was in my mid 30s. So I really made the most out of my 20s like you guys had said, you know, in my 20s and 30s. I really just made the most out of it so that when I hit that time, I was like, I’m ready to settle down. I’ve done all that I could rack my numbers up as high as I could. And I’m not gonna cheat. I mean, I’ve tasted the rainbow. Yeah, it’s all good. It’s all good. And I have no urge to cheat now. And I think everyone should kind of like do the same thing where you just kind of enjoy yourself in your 20s and 30s. And then when you’re ready to settle down, settle down, you know,
Why are you so obsessed podcast 44:29
finally be ready for sure. So that’s crazy a year. I don’t know if you guys can believe us, but no one’s ever proposed to us. It’s kind of rude. Isn’t that super rude? And
Mikko Miller 44:39
yeah, I’ve seen your photo. Yes. kind of crazy.
Calvin Tilokee 44:46
Crazy. is kind of crazy,
Why are you so obsessed podcast 44:49
believable. Some I’d say.
Calvin Tilokee 44:52
So how long have you guys been in your relationships? Yeah,
Why are you so obsessed podcast 44:55
um, so mine’s like a little complicated because I met my My boyfriend and university and we were on and off for a really long time. And you know when like kind of getting back to that it’s like it just he gets upset. He says, Well, we would have decided together and I said, No, we wouldn’t have because I just wasn’t ready to be with a guy that I was going to be with forever when I was like 21 years old. Like you met them too early.Yeah. So we had a lot of time off. And now it’s been like two years. Yeah, yeah. And then, same with me. I met my boyfriend, friend of mine. We got introduced over Instagram, actually. And he lived in Edmonton, which is about three hours north. And we did long distance for almost a year. And then he moved down to Calgary. And yeah, we’ve been doing since then. So our tears actually at the end of this month. More than you’re definitely more than two years. Like almost three.
Calvin Tilokee 45:54
Yeah. Was the move for you?
Why are you so obsessed podcast 45:57
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. For me. Was it from there that wasn’t like his hometown, right? He traveled like he’s lived in a bunch of cities. So for him, it wasn’t a big deal. But for me, I pretty much lived in Calgary and I’m from Calgary, my whole life, except for when I went to schools. So it wasn’t really in his work. You could transfer here the same company was here. So it really wasn’t an easy decision. And yeah, it’s it’s going good.
Calvin Tilokee 46:30
We’re gonna stay tuned into your Instagram, you know, so we’ll see when the when the ring gets pop.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 46:36
Oh my god. That’s why we asked you. We’re just like, what’s the normal size? And you’re like, here and I’m like, was in our phones right now doing some math and like, it’s not out enough.
Calvin Tilokee 46:49
I’m going to make this a little bit worse for you. I propose after a year also.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 46:55
How old? I am. And
Calvin Tilokee 46:58
I got married when I was 26. I proposed probably as 21 now I’m just telling you the truth. I am not a hoarder.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 47:14
have kids.
Calvin Tilokee 47:16
No, no, no kids. You plan? plans know if maybe,
Why are you so obsessed podcast 47:20
but that risky Polo game?
Mikko Miller 47:27
I hate that game.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 47:35
It’s like, my hair. And I’m just kidding.
Mikko Miller 47:39
But it doesn’t have to be inside.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 47:47
Do you guys want kids eventually? That’s gonna be a loaded question for you guys. Sorry. Is it? Is it off base?
Mikko Miller 47:54
No, no, no, no, not at all. Not at all. For me, um, we’re trying. We’re gonna go, you know, try to have kids now we’re ready to, you know, start a family. We’re gonna go through like the whole infertility process, which we talked about in podcasts before. So we’re going through that. So we’re going to try to have kids so we do want kids now. But in the beginning, it was like No, not yet. You know, we wanted to travel and do all this kind of stuff. Yeah, for sure. Now, we’re ready. We’re ready now to have like children. So we’re gonna try. Try harder.
Calvin Tilokee 48:25
Laos pretty much how it was with us, too. I mean, we were so young. And neither one of us had really, you know, established a career or anything like that at that point. And by the time we got there, we had probably, you know, married six to eight years, somewhere in that range. And then you just get comfortable. We’re just like, do we really want to change life that much, we can just come home. Chill, we don’t have to worry about kids diapers, we can pick up and travel. Yeah, you know, we’ve we’ve booked two week vacations and like, 10 days out. And just like we’re out here, you know? Yeah, it was kind of like, do we want to mess that up? Do we want to lose that freedom? You know, and then time just keeps passing. But we’re not against kids. It’s just kind of like, we never really got that urge.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 49:09
Yeah, for sure. And it’s hard to because it’s like, I feel like I don’t I don’t feel I’m 32 I don’t feel 32. But it’s like women have you know, we can’t wait forever. So it’s tough because I don’t you know, my life. I can’t imagine having a kid right now. And I’m 32. So when am I going like I I want kids really bad, but it’s like, what am I going to be ready for them? You know, so I totally get what you guys.
Calvin Tilokee 49:32
Yeah, right. Right, don’t Well, it’s almost.
So it’s almost time for us to get into the segments. Assuming you guys are sticking around.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 49:47
Yes. Oh, yeah. We’re here if you want us to. Absolutely.
Calvin Tilokee 49:52
I think I think you’re going to enjoy these. So we start out with one I like to call out So we just talked about whoever was a jerk this week.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 50:08
You guys are so sweet. Okay, so this is like a super weird thing that happened to me this week. So we have Uber Eats, which I’m sure you guys have there too. And I ordered some food, and it was about to calm. So I was like waiting. I live in a ground floor apartment. And all of a sudden, I’m just like sitting on the couch with my dogs. All of a sudden, the Uber delivery guy walks into my apartment. And instantly when he does that, the dogs go Berzerk lose their mind. I’m like, almost peed my pants. And he’s like, oh my god. Oh my god. I’m so sorry. I’m like,
Mikko Miller 50:51
fuck is happening. I
Why are you so obsessed podcast 50:52
like start screaming back when he closes the door instantly. And then he DM me on the thing and it’s like, I wrote on the delivery thing leave at door. And he’s like, yelling from the outside. I thought you meant leave inside the door. What
Mikko Miller 51:09
was happening?
He saw a closer look. That’s what he was.
Yeah.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 51:18
Creepy just walked in my house.
Calvin Tilokee 51:21
No, that’s not a mistake, man. That’s some
Why are you so obsessed podcast 51:24
isn’t it? That’s what I was wondering. It was really uncomfortable.
Calvin Tilokee 51:28
How do you fuck up? Leave at the door for inside? What’s actually inside the door? In the house?
Why are you so obsessed podcast 51:35
Give me a wave. Go to the bathroom if you feel like it like no, right, right.
Calvin Tilokee 51:41
Oh my god.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 51:42
Anyways, you’re
Mikko Miller 51:44
gonna pull out right but then you come inside.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 52:07
wasn’t a mistake is what you’re telling me?
Mikko Miller 52:09
Yeah. Hey.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 52:19
How are you guys works?
Mikko Miller 52:21
You know what mine is more not a jerk that I’ve encountered face to face. Again, I was just talking about like how this weekend I watched like the all star game. And during the halftime they had a slam dunk contest with three participants. Usually there’s more. I don’t know if you guys watch the NBA All Star games often. Usually they have like, you know, 10 guys doing like little different dunks and then they get judged. And then it’s like elimination round. But this time, they only have three, they didn’t have the halftime show, which means like they were like, you know, pressed for time. And the one guy that won two dunks the entire season. And he got chosen for that shit. Now, I don’t know what kind of selection process you guys got to go through. You know, but there’s been like, what 30 plus games played in the season? How do you pick a guy that’s only had to dunk to win the contest? Like the guy? How does he even get qualified for that shit?
Calvin Tilokee 53:13
Right? That’s the minimum amount.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 53:17
That doesn’t seem like enough dunks.
Mikko Miller 53:24
is like who chose these guys? I mean, how do you pick a guy that only had two dunks? He’s, I mean, he won. Don’t get me wrong, and it was a stupid dunk like he. He was supposed to kiss the rim and dunk the ball and he was like a foot away from it. Still been in the game?
Calvin Tilokee 53:42
That social distancing, man he couldn’t actually social distance.
Mikko Miller 53:50
That’s true. Yeah. So whoever the selection guy committee was, he’s he’s my jacket. Yeah. Fucking jerk.
Calvin Tilokee 53:59
So So mine is I’m going for a walk with my wife. We’re heading back home. And we’re crossing the street. Right? And his car, we see the car coming up the hill to approach a stop sign. And we’re like, right in the crosswalk. This guy’s keeps coming and keeps coming. And like, I’m like, is this fool going to slow the fuck down? And he literally gets to like, within two inches of my wife and stops the car.
Mikko Miller 54:23
Oh my god, just
Calvin Tilokee 54:24
I stopped in the street. I just looked I was like, Yo, what the fuck are you doing? And he’s staring at me. Am I first like, Oh, come on, keep going because I have a tendency to like lose it and want to knock people out. So I was like, What the fuck are you doing? So I keep walking because I’m like, Listen, I’m not going to jail for this for no fool. But I was like, if you don’t move, it’s gonna be a problem. So I started walking and he’s looking at me and then he’s like pointing at the stop sign. I’m like you did? That line to stop is like three feet back. Regardless, you see people in the street, stop your fucking car. You don’t get That close to somebody, especially a female What the fuck is wrong with you?
Why are you so obsessed podcast 55:03
For real? And you know what’s crazy is I’m in Canada, the people that are walking up there right away, but in the states it’s not like that.
Mikko Miller 55:12
In California it is.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 55:14
Oh, is it okay?
Mikko Miller 55:16
To ride away no matter what if they’re walking in the middle of a fucking freeway, everyone’s
Why are you so obsessed podcast 55:20
okay. Cuz it seems like a lot of places in the state
Calvin Tilokee 55:23
of New York thing. Yeah. It’s a New York thing. Yeah, we don’t really have a lot of respect for pedestrians here. I remember I went to Chicago years ago, like, same thing happened in Chicago, and it was a green light. And we kind of got caught and the guy’s like, Oh, go ahead. I was like, What the fuck is happening? Like, people are strangely nice out here, you know? So it’s definitely a New York thing. But yeah, he would have got his ass What? So? I don’t like that jerk.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 55:51
Like that.
Calvin Tilokee 55:54
So now it’s time for this is our trivia segment. And as always, when we have guests to the man cave, you guys are automatically in the hot seat. Okay. So the way the game goes, I ask you a question. If you know it will congratulate you on your big brain. If you don’t know it. You got to say to the audience, I don’t know that shit. Keeping it round.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 56:20
Okay, got it. Right.
Calvin Tilokee 56:22
Ready. Are you guys gonna play as a team?
Why are you so obsessed podcast 56:24
Of course, as a team.
Calvin Tilokee 56:27
Okay, all right. Okay. Here we go. How many professional sports leagues has the Kardashian family dated men in
Why are you so obsessed podcast 56:37
so many league Griffin rage or whatever that Kim guys was? Oh my god, Lamar.
I think tristin would be simply a leaks so we know it’s NBA. Football. No. So the two NFL unless we don’t
they haven’t did any soccer players. It has to just be NFL in
basketball who solo
No, because then the rest are wrappers not delete but not in this now can we say
Calvin Tilokee 57:14
to the correct answer is three. You got to so close. You guys are so close. The third one really fucks you up because it’s one guy in one league and everything else is NBA and NFL but we had Matt Kemp who dated Khloe Kardashian and he is a baseball player.
Mikko Miller 57:37
Oh my God.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 57:39
He really date though.
Calvin Tilokee 57:42
I just went off the internet. I think I got it off people so take it up with them.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 57:46
I honestly I remember pictures of them. Okay, okay. I don’t know that.
Mikko Miller 57:52
He didn’t Rianna too, so he got around. He knows how to pick a
guy. Yeah, listen,
Calvin Tilokee 57:57
listen. I this list is ridiculous.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 58:02
It’s mental. It’s mental.
Calvin Tilokee 58:04
I’m gonna run through it real quick. Okay, for the for the audience. Kim Chris Humphreys NBA. Her. Reggie Bush NFL.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 58:15
That’s who I was. Yeah.
Mikko Miller 58:17
Not raging.
Calvin Tilokee 58:17
No, no, now Chloe got her list, Rashad McCants, NBA. Derrick Ward, NFL Lamar Odom, NBA. Matt Kemp. MLB. Rick Fox, NBA. James Harden, NBA. Tristan Thompson. Then Kendall Jenner, Devin Booker, NBA Kyle Kuzma. Ben Simmons, Blake Griffin, and Jordan Clarkson. That’s like three out of the five starting Lakers.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 58:43
I mean, you know, they were talking gibberish he’s like they act like I’m not in full control of who I threw the throw this cool chat.
Calvin Tilokee 58:56
Good hard to argue with that.
And the final one my favorite this although this one is just a rumor, but I like this rumor. Kris Jenner. oj simpson NFL.
Mikko Miller 59:17
I love
Wrentham the bus driving murderer. Wow.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 59:29
That’s a that’s a that’s a list.
Calvin Tilokee 59:32
I had as I have a list that was longer than like the other two segments combined.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 59:39
100%
Calvin Tilokee 59:40
So now it’s time for get off my lawn.
And this is where we just you know, rant about whatever. So feel free. Who needs to get off your lawn or your ice. Considering you Canadian
Why are you so obsessed podcast 1:00:00
Get on my eyes. Funny. Um,
you know what this is just about men and something that men do that really?
Mikko Miller 1:00:09
Oh, here we go.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 1:00:11
Now it’s not their bat, but it’s like, I can’t stand when I’m like going to a guy and just want to like be heard. And I have a problem. I’m having a problem. I’m having a situation and I’m really upset about it. It’s
a word problem or something like that.
And the immediate reaction of a guy is to solve the problem. Like, I can’t solve it. I’m just talking to you. We’ll be dancing.
Mikko Miller 1:00:34
Yeah, like, I
Why are you so obsessed podcast 1:00:34
want to, I want to just vent to you.
I want you to just be like, it’s okay to hear me. Give me your sympathy. I’m sorry, that happened to you. Like, what could you do? Like, blah, blah, like, not like, let me fix this, right? Because you’re incompetent.
But men are problem solvers. So anyways, that’s, uh, yeah. I don’t know. Do you guys feel like you do that?
Mikko Miller 1:00:55
I use? I
Calvin Tilokee 1:00:56
definitely do. Yeah.
Mikko Miller 1:00:59
I used to,
Calvin Tilokee 1:01:00
I will say, I will say it’s, um, my wife does it too, though. My wife, we do it to each other. And it’s something that we’ve become aware of over the past few years. But both fixers, and there’s times like, you’re right, you just want to get it off your chest. It’s like, you don’t want a solution right now. Or it’s not like you can’t fix it yourself. You just kind of want to say it. So we’ve become a lot better at saying, if the person starts fixing it just being like, Hey, listen, I just want to vent right now. Or saying that upfront, you know, and also, each of us tries to not automatically jump in and fix it be like, hey, do you want me to, to help? Or am I just listening? You know, so you guys can work through that? Don’t worry. We’ve been together close to 16 years now. And we just did that in the past two or three years. So I think two years, you guys, uh, you know, you got a lot of time to fix that.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 1:01:51
16 years. Have you guys ever on the therapy?
Calvin Tilokee 1:01:55
Not together. No.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 1:01:56
Okay. Okay, interesting. Good to know. Yeah. Sorry.
Calvin Tilokee 1:02:02
No, totally fine. I’m gonna just we just got edited out of the episode.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 1:02:12
You guys are gonna bad
for you and then leave everything.
Calvin Tilokee 1:02:19
Like certain words make you sound like asking a real fucked up question.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 1:02:26
pull apart. Yeah.
Now get it off your chest.
Yeah, get it off your chest. What’s
Mikko Miller 1:02:38
up, get off my eyes. For me. To be honest. It’s you guys ever been to a grocery store? Or maybe it’s just here in America? Or maybe it’s just here in California. And there’s like, parents who allow their kids to throw tantrums in the middle of the fucking grocery store. Like, I can’t
Why are you so obsessed podcast 1:02:53
I don’t know if they’re allowing them to do that. But
Mikko Miller 1:02:57
well, no, this mom kept shopping. She kept looking at
Why are you so obsessed podcast 1:03:01
the problem.
Mikko Miller 1:03:02
She just left her kid just in the wake just wiggling around taking shit off the shelves crying his phone up because he wanted to fucking frosted flakes of the biome to Frosted Flakes, right and stop his fucking crying or take them outside. It’s like, I don’t want to go through this. I mean, he’s literally like tearing off the shelves, pulling stuff apart. And she’s just like la dee da dee da Oh, rice a Roni. Oh, I’m gonna tell you about
Why are you so obsessed podcast 1:03:30
frosted flakes are dope. Of course. Yes. problems.
No, but that is annoying when people do that. Or like if you’re out for dinner or something to or you’re out for lunch and like, it’s like they’re not like when we were little kids. My mom. If we were doing that
we’re leaving. Yeah, you have to leave. You have to leave your you gotta and you have
on your face.
Mikko Miller 1:03:56
Yeah, my mom would pinches in between our eyes on upper thigh. She would take like a little skin. pinching and twist it if we ever acted up in public. Oh, yeah. You learned of course.
That’s a good test. went to college students get pinched.
Yeah. Alright, cow. What’s on your chest bro?
Calvin Tilokee 1:04:27
miner. As usual. Mine is the is the full social media outrage about every fucking thing.
Mikko Miller 1:04:32
Oh my god told me. You did
Calvin Tilokee 1:04:35
so a few days ago. I’ll be honest, I’m not sure which Kardashian it was or Jenner to be. Kendall Kylie. One of them was in a swimsuit. They had a famous like swimsuit photo. And everybody was like saying, Oh, this is like the perfect figure for a woman and da da da da da. Right. And then women got upset. So women sharing this saying that. Oh, well. You know what? Today a 19 year old girl is the youngest. person to ever complete all of the tests that NASA we should be promoting that instead of men, you know, you know glorifying this unattainable body image for women. And I like Hold on a second many got nothing to do with that we didn’t make her famous. Okay, all right. We don’t we don’t watch her show. We’re not buying her clothes or makeup, any any of that women are doing that. So if women want the Smart Girls to be famous, make them famous.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 1:05:25
So true. We can celebrate both. Of course, like we don’t, of course be like, you know what, like, we post beautiful women in swimsuits and everything all the time. Like, I love photos like that. I love celebrating that. And like the other stuff, too. I’m so sick of just every like, we’re going to talk about this on our next podcast, just the shit that people say on social media. Like, if that’s your opinion, that’s your opinion, this is someone else’s opinion. And they like the picture and whatever. And if you want to go celebrate that, go promote it and get people celebrating what you want to be celebrated.
Calvin Tilokee 1:06:01
Exactly. Yeah. And you know, what, if you’re the person who wants to celebrate, you know, the 19 year old astronaut, then promote her, you know, do your part. But that doesn’t mean that somebody being interested in Kendall Jenner or whoever it was, that doesn’t make it bad doesn’t have to be one or the other. I 100% agree with you. We don’t have to be so binary. Like, yeah, you can do both.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 1:06:20
But at the same time, it’s like, what do people want to see? I mean, that’s wonderful that she did that. But like no one who cares about that, to be honest. And I’m not trying to be rude, but it’s like, Are people super interested in that information?
Calvin Tilokee 1:06:33
Right, right there with you exactly, are on a
Why are you so obsessed podcast 1:06:38
visual platform like Instagram. The point is, it’s a visual application that’s like, maybe that girl would thrive on Twitter, like that would be the place to be for those like statistics. And that’s awesome. And that’s like a huge accomplishment. But on something on Instagram, where that’s a visual thing, there has to be a photo associated with it. Right? And so, like, maybe that lady should like, I think she should celebrate that as well. But then maybe she should be sharing that on her platform. It might have less follows than the other platform, but if you give your best and shared as you will, I think that’s that’s totally okay, too. It’s like both can thrive. It’s it’s like you said it’s not a binary thing.
Calvin Tilokee 1:07:19
Exactly. And I mean, like, you know, it’s just take it for what it is she you know, the Kardashian family is super famous, you know, y’all did that like society did that. Okay, for whatever reason, they are where they are. And if you want to promote other people do that, but don’t blame misogyny for it.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 1:07:36
You didn’t do that shit. No. Like, just like piggybacking off of this like people are coming so hard for Kendall Jenner for the tequila brand that I’m sorry like, so many other men that aren’t from Mexico have tequila line. So many celebs have liquor lines, and people are coming so hard for her like trying to cancel her and making tequila. Like, I know that people hate the Kardashians and Jenners, but they seriously took their silver spoons and ate or oses with it. They did.
Mikko Miller 1:08:05
That’s great. Yeah.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 1:08:07
You know?
Calvin Tilokee 1:08:11
Yeah, hate it first.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 1:08:23
You know what I mean? And so it’s just like, I was so fucking, I don’t. And I said on Instagram, don’t buy candles tequila, because I’m so sick of them making so much money. But I want to hear for people saying that she’s wrong for making tequila and everything. If I was famous like that, I’ll be slapping my name on anything that would make money.
Calvin Tilokee 1:08:41
Listen, don’t hate the player hate the game. Exactly. When it comes down to it. I’m not a fan of the family and how they got there. But you know what, it’s not their fault. They made the most of what it is. And if people want to buy and people are willing to pay them $8 million in episode to watch them sit around and talk about their vaginas. Then, fucking go for it.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 1:09:02
sit around. It’s the most boring show sit around and eat salads and talk about nothing.
Calvin Tilokee 1:09:08
And sometimes
eating that shit up.
Exactly.
Mikko Miller 1:09:13
Yeah,
Why are you so obsessed podcast 1:09:14
it’s crazy. But I feel you and I’m so sick of I mean, I know you were really talking about this, but just like canceled culture and everything. It’s like, we would have gotten so soft. It’s like American Canada. Just like clown country. I don’t know what has happened.
No one can do anything without having someone pissed off. It’s It’s frustrating. I’m sure they’re nervous. Like to do anything anymore. Agree.
Calvin Tilokee 1:09:36
Oh, great. Well, now ladies, it’s time for your favorite segment. The Chris Rock quote of the week.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 1:09:46
Okay, to be able to say our quote, we found one. Yeah. All right.
Okay, in honor of International Women’s Day. How do you talk like Chris Rock? Do you guys do his accent or do you just say the club
I’d say the most politically correct thing is just to say
Mikko Miller 1:10:02
it. We try.
Calvin Tilokee 1:10:08
I want to hear I want to hear it. Go for it. I want to hear your best.
Mikko Miller 1:10:12
I want to hear
Why are you so obsessed podcast 1:10:15
things that women need in life food, water and compliments.
Mikko Miller 1:10:21
Once the plastic is a class, that is a class Yeah. Can’t go wrong. You got to tell him. You got to tell them you got to on the male version. Man side as we discussed in the last episode was men only need three things. Yeah, it’s feed me fuck me and shut the fuck up.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 1:10:41
Oh my god. We are built different. Yeah, we are.
Mikko Miller 1:10:46
Actually, to be honest, is
Why are you so obsessed podcast 1:10:50
when I was looking for like Chris Rock quotes. I was like women be shopping. And then I’m like, Oh, that’s it should be the show.
Sounds like wait wrong. Great line. Yeah.
Calvin Tilokee 1:11:14
Fantastic. Love it.
Mikko Miller 1:11:15
We loved it. I in honor of Women’s Day. Chris Rock had a very famous quote. He talks about women hate women. You get any two girlfriends in this room? Been girlfriends for 25 years. You put a man in between them and they’re like, fuck that bitch. Fuck that bitch. Guy. guys actually think other fish in the sea. And if a guy introduces his boy to his new girlfriend, or introduces his boy to his new girlfriend and walks away, his boy goes, Oh, man, she’s nice. I gotta get me a girl like that. If a woman introduces a new man to her girlfriend, and they walk away or girlfriend goes, I gotta get him. And I’ve got to split that bitches throat to do it.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 1:12:09
Love it. Love it. So true. Yeah.
Calvin Tilokee 1:12:15
Alright, so mine is you know, in the spirit of relationships and the theme of the episode for the fellas out there. You got to settle down. You know why? Cuz you don’t want to be the old guy at the club. Every club got one old guy in it. Not really old. Just a little too old to be at the club. And yes, you always got a hat on. It’s always I can go.
Mikko Miller 1:12:43
Oh, I love it. Good. I
Calvin Tilokee 1:12:51
love it. Love it. I love it. Ladies, this was a fantastic show. We will
Why are you so obsessed podcast 1:12:57
have to have you on our podcast. This was like a really good time.
Calvin Tilokee 1:13:02
Yeah, definitely. Well, with that definitely know you guys
Why are you so obsessed podcast 1:13:06
want to do a couple red flag deal breakers before we leave.
Calvin Tilokee 1:13:10
Oh, yeah, let’s do it. Okay, yeah. segment. Bonus segment.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 1:13:15
Yeah. So.
So what the deal is, it’s called Red Flag deal breaker. The either the relationships going 100% great. Or maybe it’s the first date but everything’s been going smooth sailing until this happens. And then you have to tell me the red flag. You’re gonna keep dating, but it’s like a bad sign or deal breaker. You end it right there. Okay, okay, first question for you, too. She won’t ever let you see her without a full face of makeup on. Like ever. Even after years of dating.
Mikko Miller 1:13:46
That’s a red flag. That’s not a deal breaker. Yeah. Red Flag red flag,
Why are you so obsessed podcast 1:13:50
really. So you you’d be okay with
like a cell goes to bed with all the makeup on waits till you leave then wipes it off and then reapply.
Calvin Tilokee 1:14:01
I mean, as long as she’s washing the pillowcases.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 1:14:08
Okay, I got that. Um, okay, Question two. She snores so loud. It sounds like a Harley Davidson slash industrial lawnmower.
Mikko Miller 1:14:21
Red Flag. Red Flag more loud too. So, you know we can snore loud together,
Why are you so obsessed podcast 1:14:26
guys.
Not loud cows. I
will I will vouch for that. But
Calvin Tilokee 1:14:33
yeah, I’m gonna go red flag to I mean, if everything else is good, then you know what we could I could just get another bedroom. We could sleep over
Why are you so obsessed podcast 1:14:41
easy breezy. I love it. Yeah. Okay,
here’s another one. She dm celebrities on their birthdays and tells them what horoscope they are. And what it means like Oh, you’re you’re a Sagittarius. Your Moon is in a fire sign and you are going to be extra witty today.
Mikko Miller 1:15:06
Deal Breaker. You know that’s a red flag. I don’t care about
Calvin Tilokee 1:15:15
red flag. That’s weird, but you know, yeah, okay.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 1:15:17
Okay, I’ll give you one more heat.
Mikko Miller 1:15:21
Bring the heat. Come on bring the heat. Yeah. Okay.
Why are you so obsessed podcast 1:15:25
So she believes in a relationship that a man should pay for every date forever.
Calvin Tilokee 1:15:33
fuck out of here.
Mikko Miller 1:15:36
Yeah breaker deal breaker. Deal Breaker
for both of you. Yeah, yeah.
They offer some
Why are you so obsessed podcast 1:15:45
forever dates, but like, you know, like, maybe if you’re making a home cooked meals, I’m saying she’ll, she’ll buy the groceries for that, but you guys are going out? And she’s like, no, it’s a date. It’s you.
Calvin Tilokee 1:15:56
After years and years of marriage and kids, I got a
Why are you so obsessed podcast 1:16:01
visor at eight years old you’re doing that like early bird special and just like you got a van.
Mikko Miller 1:16:07
I grant my AARP
Calvin Tilokee 1:16:10
AARP discount my senior citizen discount I’m waking up early. I’m asleep some sleeping pills in her in a water so she wake up late discount them so
Mikko Miller 1:16:22
using up all my social security
Calvin Tilokee 1:16:25
Yeah, that I’m a friend one of her friends from the bridge club and we are easygoing yeah go Yeah. That’s like dementia.Yeah. Last time okay.
51st dates
Why are you so obsessed podcast 1:16:51
Okay, that’s Yeah, that’s got on that we I love
Mikko Miller 1:16:57
I thought you guys were gonna ask like if you brought home a dildo bigger than yourself or something like that. Killer
Why are you so obsessed podcast 1:17:09
I’m like real raunchy ones.
I didn’t know the level of this podcast, but I’m liking it. Hey. Hey,
Calvin Tilokee 1:17:15
I have to say that when we come on your show you hit us with
Why are you so obsessed podcast 1:17:20
God. We’ll save it for our show.
Mikko Miller 1:17:23
Yeah, Dingo slay.
Calvin Tilokee 1:17:31
All right, outro time this is Calvin. As always, you can find me on Instagram at Revparblems my whole new travel page scotch in a suitcase or just head over to Revparblems COMM
Mikko Miller 1:17:43
And this is Mikko the Filipino you can catch me on Instagram at Mikko underscore eats
Why are you so obsessed podcast 1:17:48
Okay, love it. This is Kelsey and you guys can follow us on Instagram at Why are you so obsessed underscore all one word we post all the time check us out or and not or subscribe to our podcast called Why are you so obsessed celebrity gossip slash bachelor recap. Anywhere you can find podcast.
Yeah. We love being on the show. Thank you so much.
Calvin Tilokee 1:18:12
Absolutely great having you. Great show like thank you for joining us on another episode of midlife crisis podcast. If you enjoyed today’s show. leave us a review on iTunes and you may get a shout-out. And are you a life member of the show yet? Well, now you can become a part of the show by supporting us on Patreon. You got your high life members, you got your mid life members, you got your low life members. Nobody wants to be that low life member. For as little as $5 a month you can get early access to episodes extended cuts of shows featuring behind-the-scenes content and the ability to send in your own audio or get off my loan. Hit the link in our show notes to get a life. Keep up with us in between shows on Instagram at midlife crisis podcast and Twitter at midlife pod show notes for this and all episodes are available on midlife crisis podcast.com sign up for the mailing list and get a discount off the mirch. Thanks for tuning in, and we’ll catch you on the next one. Let’s go
