Calvin Tilokee 0:02
Hello and welcome to the midlife crisis podcast. I’m your host Calvin, also known as Revparblems on Instagram. I’m excited to do this talk show with my best friends from high school and college. Steve and Mikko, what can you expect on this podcast? Well, I like to call it a talk show for Men of a Certain Age. We’re not quite old. But we’re the kind of guys that have to make sure we don’t mix our alcohol on a night out, you know? we’ll chat about current events, trending topics, and things that we just need to get on our soapbox about knowing us. We’ll be laughing the whole time. And ladies, don’t worry if you ever wanted to know what your husband or boyfriend talks about in the man cave. Stick around. Now, keep in mind, we’re old enough to remember when Parental Advisory stickers went on CDs. We don’t know what CDs are. You’re too young for this podcast. Speaking of which, make sure you have your headphones in. It’s NSFW as these kids say. We’ll be bringing that flavor to your weekly on your way to work while you’re shaving. Or just sitting around wondering why your back hurts. But let’s get this show on the road. That shit was recording, so we gotta give it five seconds.
Mikko Miller 1:10
Whoops.
Calvin Tilokee 1:13
Like that, we’ll go in with the intro. With some laughs Hello and welcome to the midlife crisis podcast. I’m your host Calvin here with my boy Steven Mikko breaking the flavor to air on a weekly basis. Today’s episode we’ll be discussing America’s first family. Not the one you thinking about the fucking Kardashians. And of course, you get a Chris Rock quote the week. I don’t like that jerk. And if we got anything left in the tank after talking about the Kardashians for an hour, Get off my lawn. But first, How was the week?
Steve Rudolph 1:42
I had a killer week. Absolutely killer. We got to take my daughter on our first proper Halloween, met some more my neighbor’s Halloween thing was just nuts. Seeing her face light up when she realizes she can get candy. And she you know, they’ll be houses lit up on our street. Some of them more so than others. When she realized, you know, there was like a house five houses down that she wanted to go to. And that every house along the way was going to give her candy. she freaked out. It was fantastic. It was a ton of fun. There were no jerk offs running around stealing candy. The only weirdo was this. I live in a pretty blue collar neighborhood. But it doesn’t lean more left. Okay. And this one couple seemed nice enough. They had Trump signs on their lawn. You know, look, it’s Halloween. Set that crap aside. Right. There’s plenty of time to talk about it. It’s Halloween. I went up. Hey, how are you? Happy Halloween? And the guy was real quick to like say, Oh, wow. Thanks for coming. You know, attendance is 50% down tonight. And he kept trying to push it to engage me in a conversation. I wasn’t having it. I go Hey, that’s great. Just here for the candy. Have a good one. Happy Halloween. And it was a weird encounter. Thankfully, it was the only one. But But yeah. Outside of that it had a great time. Great week. How about you?
Mikko Miller 3:09
That’s awesome. Ah, I wish I could say the same. Um, if you guys heard the news, Irvine, where I live at was hit with that Silverado fire. It’s like one of the biggest fires in Orange County. Damn. So we had to evacuate. Actually. Monday, Monday morning. Yeah, we evacuated I was at work. My wife texted me right she said Amy I woke up in the skies orange and I smell smoke something in you know, maybe like a small fire so I said Oh, don’t worry about it. You know, just go to work login. You know, I’ll finish up here and I’ll go check the news. I checked the news and this fucking the fire is three miles away from my house. It’s three miles away. It blew through I think total was like 12,000 acres. What made it worse was we had the Santa Ana winds that was blowing winds towards the direction where I live like 75 to 90 miles an hour. So it was really like spanning names and bring it to like over toward the car direction so I get a text from Irvine police saying hey your neighbors been evacuated you know if you got valuables or whatever get your paperwork get it go back and go get the fuck out of here basically. So you know I run home pick up my wife we go to Long Beach and then we stayed there we hunker down for about two days and Long Beach before they notified us that it was okay to come back. But we’re safe. We’re good. You know, everything’s back to normal now sort of fires mostly contained.That was the week though fellas.
It’s fires are nuts, man.
Oh, California fires are ludicrous.
Calvin Tilokee 4:39
This has been weeks now there’s got to be at least a month this has been going on.
Mikko Miller 4:43
There’s been fires like everywhere actually. The Irvine fire happened like Monday morning and then the sparks flew into like your Belinda like those fires over there which flew into like Chino Hills, and then there’s also like separate fires elsewhere. So I mean, you’re talking about like 10 fires in the state of California. Right now.
Calvin Tilokee 5:00
Wow, that’s crazy. Jesus man, crazy. 2020 on some shit.
Mikko Miller 5:07
Yeah, not give that shit back to need a refund.
Calvin Tilokee 5:11
Yeah, for real, right. I’m not even counting my birthday. I’m still 40 this Yep. I want a refund on this one.
Oh, real
I feel bad about my week. I had a good week. My week was pretty chill.
Mikko Miller 5:31
So good. It’s okay.
Calvin Tilokee 5:35
This week was cool, man. I mean, it was it’s been busy. I signed a new client a couple weeks ago. So still in there kind of the ramp up phase with them. But Congrats. Yeah, it’s you know, it’s been good. That’s all good. pressure. That’s that’s good stress, right? I mean, having work to do. But yeah, after that this weekend was cool. I don’t know if I mentioned on here before my wife and I have been watching the Great British baking show. We got into that. Over the past couple of weeks. I had never would think baking would be interesting to watch. But that shit is fucking addicted. Somebody described the show is like, it’s the warm blankets of TV shows. You just want to feel good. Yeah. Like we spent the last couple of weekends just sitting there bingeing frickin baking show. So we both get this urge. We’re like, shit, maybe we could bake. Right? I did my first bake this weekend. I saw this with Anna Yeah, Marlo May. Yeah, make cupcakes with my friend Christine from Marlow kitchen. Shout out to Christine go give her a follow at Marlow kitchen. Ma r l o w kitchen on Instagram. She makes amazing stuff. But yeah, I’ve known her for a couple of years and obviously follow her account. So I was like, maybe she could teach me how to bake some. And I’ve made icing for these cupcakes, which was really entertaining. confectioner’s sugar, you want to talk about smoke. The kitchen was covered in sugar. By the time this was like whipping it out in the bowl. It’s just like, it looks like I was actually drilling like if I was sewing wood. That’s what it looks like. Just like this puff of smoke coming out of the bowl all over the kitchen. It was pretty funny. Took me a good hour to clean the kitchen afterwards. Ice like for cupcake. But um, that’s what you would expect for somebody doing it the first time but it was fun. It was fun. The videos up on a roof Park travels for anybody who’s interested in watching me make a mess of my kitchen. But other than that, yeah, I mean, the weekend was the week was good. Yeah, so time to dive into the topic. And some of you guys will think ready just now talking about the Kardashians like why would you do that now? Well, as much as we’ve just talked about the horrible things that have happened in 2020. Most recently, with these California fires, there has been one Ray of sunshine Ray in quotes, no pun intended. I actually didnt do that on purpose.
Steve Rudolph 8:04
We’re gonna have to explain to everybody why we’re laughing about that
Mikko Miller 8:07
Yeah. they’ll know they’ll know.
Calvin Tilokee 8:10
Yeah. So the ray of sunshine is that the Kardashians will finally be canceled. God, Jesus Enough, enough. So sometime in 2021, will be the final season. And they will find a different medium and a different way to noise for the rest of eternity. But at least the TV show will be done. Oh my god. So we finally we know, we wanted to have this conversation about how this whole empire got started. And Steve i’ll let you take it away.
Steve Rudolph 8:43
So to give everybody a little insight into how we do the show, it’s very sophisticated and how we come to these topics. A lot of time involved, one of us have some kind of an idea. We shared in a WhatsApp chat. And so I had said, Friday night, I’m having a great night. My daughter’s at my parents house. I’m downstairs after having a decadent meal with my wife that we brought in. She’s passed out upstairs, playing some Call of Duty. start chatting, what’s a good topic for the show? What have you seen this week, etc. And I just saw a thing for Kim Kardashian his Halloween party where all these celebrities who are all talking about you know wearing masks and all that other shit are having this party for the Kardashian and no one’s wearing masks. Everybody had to get their quick test done before getting in whatever huh? There was that and then there was Kim Kardashian birthday that she had where she flew everybody out there that’s what got us going my bad and it was How the hell can you get all these people together blah blah blog, you know when it when we’re all supposed to be quarantine in in whatever and I saw I read about halfway down through the article read enough. And my initial knee jerk reaction is like, fuck you guys, because I, I know almost nothing about the Kardashians, I never watched the show, I just know that I don’t like that kind of person. And, again, my knee jerk reaction to Kim’s party was Screw you, you know, screw you in the most horrible way.
Mikko Miller 10:24
You know, like Ray J
Steve Rudolph 10:25
wantonness, like Ray J. And so I started thinking to myself, if I had the means and the opportunity to do so, I’d probably do the same thing. Maybe not as big. I certainly wouldn’t advertise it. For everybody out there. That’s what got the conversation started. And then we started talking about why are these people famous? And then there’s there’s actually a hashtag that I I could get behind. Around the guy who helped start that whole, you know, really, he helped start it all right. Am I wrong?
Calvin Tilokee 10:58
Oh, Rachel. Yeah, I mean, I mean, I think we need to start the hashtag justice for Rachel. Justice for Rachel.
Steve Rudolph 11:04
Absolutely.
Calvin Tilokee 11:06
It comes out Kim Kardashian becomes a fucking millionaire billionaire, whatever the hell she is. And, you know, raging out in the cold, just not fucking doing, you know, bootleg reality shows and stuff like that. It’s like this was his cut. He was happy to start the show, at least
Steve Rudolph 11:21
when he threw down on either of them, like, more of a celebrity than the other.
Mikko Miller 11:27
Right? He
was. He was the biggest celebrity
Calvin Tilokee 11:32
at that point. Yeah, she wasn’t nobody okay.
Mikko Miller 11:35
For Paris Hilton or something like that before she got ass fucked by Ray J.
Calvin Tilokee 11:41
right.
Steve Rudolph 11:44
final point on it.
Mikko Miller 11:52
I mean, yeah, you know? Yeah, let’s
Ray J, I think at that time, was a r&b singer, rapper, whatever he was. I think he did like a couple of TV movie things. Before we kind of knew who kim k was. I think. Yeah, I don’t remember her being ever, like super popular until after that whole tape fiasco came out.
Steve Rudolph 12:24
Okay.
Calvin Tilokee 12:24
Yeah, I mean, I think at that point, no, I think you’re pretty spot on there. You know, she was obviously Robert Kardashian starter, who was the lawyer for oj but nobody knows that. I mean, who knows the lawyer from the oj trial. I mean, come on. These monkeys ain’t celebrities Don’t be like, yo, yo, yo, yo, you know who oj got lined up to defender. Oh, I mean, come on. So nobody knew who the hell she was. And then like Steve said, she worked with Paris Hilton, or she was like Paris, Hilton’s best friend for a while, and just kind of obviously hung around in some circles because of coming from money or, you know, and all of this shit. So before this whole sex a bit rage a she was a nobody. And my issue with this whole empire that they built is how it started. I mean, this, that I heard a saying that society gets the leader it deserves. And I think that is pretty evident of where where we sit right now as a country that these are the most famous people in the country,
Mikko Miller 13:26
the most influential At least right?
Calvin Tilokee 13:29
At least, I mean, name somebody more famous. Yes. Maybe LeBron. Yeah. You know, you know what I mean? It’s like, there’s nothing there. There’s, there’s no substance, there’s no talent, they don’t have this level of fame and publicity and influence for any legitimate reason. It’s because she put out a sex tape, and she had the low enough morals to say, Sure, let’s put that out there. And I’m gonna take advantage of the situation. That’s not something me personally, this is just me speaking for myself. I can respect that shit. And,
Steve Rudolph 14:02
you know, do I have it right that the mom was the manager the entire way through?
Calvin Tilokee 14:06
Well, I don’t know. particulars. Right. But what I would say and here’s where again, I try to be fair, right. Like, the saying is don’t hate the player hate the game. Right. Right. I hate the game. Okay, yeah, I’ll give a mother credit because she probably felt from what it seems like the way everything has played out over the years. It seems like she’s kind of the smart one, the ringleader and said, Hey, Kim. All right, you know what, this may not be the best look, but fuck it. Let’s parlay this into some fame. Right. And you can’t really argue with the results. So yeah, I you know, to answer your question, see, I do think so. I think probably what happened is at that point, she said, Okay, this sucks. So do you obviously know that until now, but hey, let’s let’s see if we can’t get rich and famous from this. And yeah, any mother who would be okay but basically pimping out her all her daughters. Yeah. For, for money. I don’t know how to respect that. I can’t respect that I wasn’t raised to have those kind of values. So I have zero respect for any of this. And like I said, I respect the fact that they’ve made their money, right? I mean, it’s not their fault that millions of people want to eat this bullshit up. That’s not their fault. They just took advantage to sit so I hate the system.
Mikko Miller 15:21
Yeah, society definitely made this into like, a small campfire and turn into like this five alarm blaze or three alarm blades, whatever the fuck it is that you say? Because if we didn’t pay this much attention to it, and really put this on blast and made them quote, unquote, influencers, they’d be nobody that just be like some porn star, right? It is just what she was. She did a porno that got popular and we ate it up as a society. We ate it. Uh, we made the Kardashians we did.
Calvin Tilokee 15:54
Mm hmm. Fuck, like, as if nobody ever seen a big ass before.
Mikko Miller 15:59
Exactly. You know?
Calvin Tilokee 16:01
it. Yeah. boggles my mind. Boggles my fucking mind and what bothers me the most about it is? Well, first off, what do you tune in to the show? To find out like, what is interesting about them? What’s interesting that you want to watch the show and say, I wonder what they’re up to today or this week? Or what they did last week? Who gives a fuck?
And, and, and clearly a lot of people do so I know. I’m in the minority here.
Mikko Miller 16:30
Yeah,
Calvin Tilokee 16:31
but what do we want to hear from these people?. What do you want to hear from these people?
Steve Rudolph 16:37
I got the timeline
Calvin Tilokee 16:40
Guy Yeah, let’s let’s run out of time line
Steve Rudolph 16:42
nine months before October 21 1980. Jenner got knocked up with Kim Kim was born in October 21 1980. In 2002 she made a sex tape with Ray J that was released in 2007. That same year Keeping Up With The Kardashians kicked off on E!
Calvin Tilokee 17:03
oh so yeah anybody with with a believed as a coincidence they waited five years to release a sec state and just so happened to lunch show afterwards. Right before your yes or no, it was literally that was that was premeditated. So this is no accident. She didn’t parlay it. And like she knowingly said hey, you know what? I have a sex tape out there. Why don’t we use this? So as even more justice for Ray J. Where the fuck is his money? Yeah,
Steve Rudolph 17:30
actually. Actually. Okay. Okay. Some research and doing some homework. Mikko. I looked up where this fellow is. And this motherfucker, he’s got a headphone business.
Mikko Miller 17:45
Yeah, Raycons.
Steve Rudolph 17:46
Raycons. They passed over 100 million in sales this year. I think he’s doing fine. Okay, no, no, he’s got enough money to marry some goofball named princess love or whatever the hell Her name is.
Calvin Tilokee 17:59
Jesus. Listen, but But listen, Ray J wasn’t exactly struggling when this happened. That was if anything Ray J was pretty famous. Then. Like, yeah, even if just be known as Brandy’s brother.
Mikko Miller 18:10
Exactly. Brandy’s little brother, you know?
Calvin Tilokee 18:13
Yeah, he didn’t like he doesn’t have a headphone business because of the sex tape. Now if he had a line of dildos, that’d be a different story. There you go. You know, get fucked by Ray J whenever you want. You know? That’d be a different story. If you had a million dollar business off, that’d be like, Okay, fine. We’ll we’ll call this semi even here. Sure. But you know, he didn’t get nothing off this. That’s why he had to come out with the song I hit it first. You got to remind people
Mikko Miller 18:44
swear to God. Like
I’m going
Calvin Tilokee 18:49
to put that on a map.
Mikko Miller 18:50
Because the map literally, right.
Calvin Tilokee 18:55
One person? Exactly.
Mikko Miller 18:58
Could Yes.
Calvin Tilokee 19:02
I guess it could. But you know, are you going to get a TV show when he following you every week from a self? 60?
Mikko Miller 19:11
No, no. I do like to build the idea. Don’t get fucked by the dictum make him famous. It can make you famous to not be cool.
Calvin Tilokee 19:20
That he had to
Mikko Miller 19:22
write and he didn’t use idiot.
Calvin Tilokee 19:26
First, that’s the first thing I thought off.
Mikko Miller 19:29
Mold me baby
Calvin Tilokee 19:30
molded. So I’m going to assume he sold that and nobody wanted to buy.
Mikko Miller 19:36
Nobody wanted that dick.
Calvin Tilokee 19:45
Sorry. Right. Yeah, that leads me to another point I wanted to bring up right and I’ve heard this conversation with people over the years. So a few episodes ago we talked about, you know how women are marginalized in society a lot and I think we made all Very good point. And it’s certainly a real issue. But there are circumstances where being a woman is a hell of a lot more advantages. And I think we just landed on one. This is a big one right here. Because Ray J ain’t got shit from this situation what man could do something like that and get famous simply off of that. I’ve challenged women on this over the years and nobody can answer my question yet. What man is famous simply for being good looking?
Steve Rudolph 20:26
Hmm. I’m Fabio famous.
Calvin Tilokee 20:34
I would I would not say, but I would I would debate famous
Mikko Miller 20:38
for that. There that’s.
Calvin Tilokee 20:42
That’s about it.
Mikko Miller 20:43
But he acts. He doesn’t move.
Calvin Tilokee 20:44
Exactly. Yeah.
Steve Rudolph 20:46
Famous for just being good looking.
Calvin Tilokee 20:47
Being good looking. Right. Like you like when it’s a man, you’ve got to have an actual talent behind it. Right. Like women sweat. David Beckham, David Beckham was a world class footballer for years, right? Yeah, then yeah. But he got married to our spice. And that’s when he grew up into this world star because he was on her arm. And it was like, Whoa, Who’s this guy? I mean, unless you were a soccer fan. You didn’t know David Beckham was before that. Like you just said Brad Pitt, George Clooney, any of these men that are, you know, these heartthrobs, Ryan Reynolds, you know, Leonardo DiCaprio, pick one. They all have actual talent. They’re famous because they’re good at doing something. Right. And then people say, oh, okay, yeah, well, he’s a good looking dude. You know what I mean?
Mikko Miller 21:29
And I think that’s why the Kardashians get a lot of flack from like, people like female celebrities, female movie stars that say, Hey, we actually have to have talent. Before we got famous and popular. You know, we didn’t just like lie on our back. I think Gwyneth Paltrow said them. No, you know, she was taking shots. And you know, every every once in a while celebrities take shots. Like guys.
Calvin Tilokee 21:52
Well, I mean, exactly, exactly. I mean, I just want to say that that’s how she got famous, everybody should take a shot. But I mean, it’s only right. And that comes with the territory, right? If you’re going to be that famous people are going to have something to say about you. Regardless of what it is, you know, right. But I think that’s fair. I mean, I think if I’m a woman trying to make it into Hollywood, and become famous like a Gwyneth Paltrow, any of these other actresses out there, I’m gonna have issue with that, because you know what, like, shit. I could have did that. Right? Wasn’t she Dayton? Brad Pitt back in the day? Couldn’t you just put out a sex tape with her and Brad Pitt and become super famous? Yeah, she ain’t got that booty doll. No, she don’t. She don’t. Everybody don’t like that, though.
Mikko Miller 22:33
Yeah, that’s true. That’s true. She ain’t got that.
Calvin Tilokee 22:36
That. Everybody. I mean, this is when Poucher. She’s, you know, she’s had a few dudes, right? So somebody finds it attractive? Yeah, that’s true. Yes. Yeah. Right. There’s some everybody. Yeah, there’s some for everybody. So she could have marketed to a Yeah, different demographic, but a, you know, she could do that. But, you know, point being is, I think, when you work hard at something, you know, like a level of success like that should be earned by hard work. Not hard work.
Mikko Miller 23:09
Hard work. The other thing is, you say like, I want to take it down that road. I’m like, I’m gonna stop myself.
Calvin Tilokee 23:21
What you say take it down?
Mikko Miller 23:23
Yeah. Take it. down.
Calvin Tilokee 23:27
Take it down. Do you say? it’s crazy, but you know, any women listening to this episode? I’m going to challenge you. Send us a note. Let us know what man is famous. The way Kim is famous. And got there the way Kim got there.
Steve Rudolph 23:47
Let me ask you guys something. Sure. Now, all her bullshit. And there is a a significant amount of bullshit that goes with her. She does get headlines from time to time for humanitarian stuff, you know, advocating for prisoner releases and the recent goings on in Armenia. She said she donated a million dollars to it. Do you feel that any of her humanitarian stuff is actually coming from a good place? Like a genuine place? Or is it simply done to just get likes and clicks and kind of offset her bullshit?
Mikko Miller 24:25
At this point, how do you know we
Steve Rudolph 24:27
wouldn’t get it? Yeah, it’s a very good point.
Mikko Miller 24:29
Because if I was that famous and I was getting a lot of heat for, you know, starring in a sex tape and marrying Kanye and just being just this drama filled person, every once in a while I’ll throw 100,000 to some humanitarian or charity or something just to get people off my ass literally. I don’t blame her for wanting to do that. I mean, I don’t a million dollars is nothing to them. They have probably like a billion dollar Empire like house it and what’s a million dollars, you know, to humanitarian efforts, yet it’s a good thing, don’t you? me wrong. I’m not downing the good deed, you know? Is the good deed really coming from a good place? like Steve said? Or is it just to get people off my ass?
Steve Rudolph 25:08
It’s like that tree in the forest thing. If I do a good deed, no one knows about it. You know? Is it still good thing,
Mikko Miller 25:17
that’s the thing is like, you don’t have to tweet, I donated a million dollars to some starving children in Armenia or to end the war. So you don’t have to tweet it if it’s, but again, we’re in the age of social media, we’re in the age of, hey, let’s attract some attention to this because it could lead to more donations. If I make it public, and people follow up, you know, with that kind of stuff. So I’ll praise her for that. I’m gonna give it a benefited, I would say hey, she put it out there in social media, the news got a wind of it, and decided, hey, this is popular enough for us to broadcast to the masses, in hopes that maybe a million can turn to 10. But that’d be a good thing.
Calvin Tilokee 25:54
Right? Right. Yeah, I’m with you on that. I try not to judge people’s character that way. You know, I mean, as much as we’ve talked about how she got there, her no family are Armenian, I would assume that she does have, you know, some connection there and feel a responsibility to do something and, and quite frankly, even if she doesn’t, a million dollars, a million dollars, right. I mean, that’s exactly, you know, so. But I mean, I have seen certain interviews with her. They’re hard people to ignore, you’re gonna see them from time to time. And, you know, I’ve heard her speak and she doesn’t come off like somebody that would do something like that, just for attention. Like, like, to me if that’s not where they were from, I would be a lot more dubious about it. Like if it was just for a, you know, I’m going to buy turkeys for people in the neighborhood. You know, right. Okay. Yeah, that you might just be doing because you want to be the new school, Nino Brown, you know?
Steve Rudolph 26:51
In reference for anyone out there who’s
Calvin Tilokee 26:53
taking notes. I was gonna say anybody under 35 Google in that shit right now. Exactly. Wesley Snipes
Steve Rudolph 26:59
me back when it was wishing the IRS I’m sorry, I’m not gonna. Poor Wesley Blade forever.
Mikko Miller 27:08
Pre IRS.
Calvin Tilokee 27:10
Exactly, exactly. But yeah, I mean, I felt the same way not to you know, railroaded too much. But like, when we had the conversation about Black Lives Matter, and all of those rallies and, and things that were going on. A lot of people were downgrading these influencers, who would go there and just take a picture and say, Oh, I was at the rally, and then go their way. And I was like, Listen, you know what, who gives a shit? Because it’s bringing awareness. And it’s typically a young white girl who clearly isn’t black and probably doesn’t have any experience with the issue. But hey, if she’s got 100,000 followers on social media, and she’s at a Black Lives Matter rally, you know, what that put that thought in somebody’s head? Yeah. So know who that may impact it, you know, to the same point Mikko said like, Oh, well, Kim Kardashian is doing this, then. Maybe and that’s using your influence for good.
Mikko Miller 27:58
Right, right.
Calvin Tilokee 27:59
Right, right. I guess I guess, regardless of how you got there, if you’re going to do some positive with it, that I could respect, you know,
Mikko Miller 28:06
so I’m gonna toss this in there. I’ve heard him talk. I’ve heard came in interviews, and there’s a certain genuineness, whenever she speaks, and she says sentences to where I think for the most part, she means what she says, and it’s not just bullshit. I listen to Chris talk, Kris Jenner. And I can almost pinpoint the bullshit in her tone. But I can’t do that with Kim. I genuinely think Kim cares about certain issues and she takes it to heart. Honestly.
Calvin Tilokee 28:39
I agree. I agree. And like when recently when, you know, like Steve was talking about with her, you know, trying to get these people out of jail. Like when she went to see Trump in the White House, I believe on her behalf. I believe it was genuine. Yeah, I really do. I don’t believe it was from his his point. I think it was opportunity to be like, hey, look, I’m cool with the kids. You know? Who Trump Gracie, come on? Yeah. Trump.
Steve Rudolph 29:01
Yeah. Trump wants to talk to Kim Kardashian about prison reform. Absolutely. He wants to that’s man. I mean, let’s get real. Oh, yeah.
Mikko Miller 29:16
like where’s ja?
Calvin Tilokee 29:22
Ja rule? We need some answers. That Ja rule may not have right now.
Mikko Miller 29:26
Exactly.
Unknown Speaker 29:27
first job.
Mikko Miller 29:29
Thanks.
Steve Rudolph 29:33
motherfucking nuts sac. Ja Rule
Are you
Mikko Miller 29:48
really good? That’s really good.
Calvin Tilokee 29:53
Oh, man. So last last question. I’ll ask about this. Before we move on. She has kids right. I don’t know how many they got right. Now, but at some point, we’re okay. So they have two kids, it’s at some point, your children are going to want to know what you do for a living, how you got there, etc, etc. And I know they have a daughter. So are you okay with your kids knowing this is how you got famous and clearly with the timelines the mapped out earlier, you did that on purpose. It wasn’t just trying to make the best of a bad situation, right? purposely put yourself out there like that. Are you okay with it? kids know, when this? How can the kids not know
Steve Rudolph 30:33
it? I mean, at some point, I don’t care who you are. Your kids gonna go to school. And someone’s gonna start fucking with them. And they’re gonna, not only can they say, Hey, your mom’s famous for getting her back blown out? Then grandma made money off of it. But here’s the video right now. I mean, I would I don’t know what I would do.
Mikko Miller 31:01
You can’t do anything. I don’t think.
Steve Rudolph 31:03
No, you can’t scrub the internet, man. I mean, you can’t that
Mikko Miller 31:07
you can’t. And, you know, I’m gonna speak on the pornography industry. A lot of the people that go into porn thinking they’re gonna make a quick buck and and leave and want to scrub everything off the internet. You know, take everything off of VHS is DVDs, you know, porn sites and everything. And you know, file lawsuits saying that, you know, they don’t want to be on there anymore. Someone’s gonna find your shit. Someone’s gonna find your seat. And you can’t hide from that. So you might as well just be open with your kids, because it’s better to let them know. Hey, you know, mommy took Ray J seeds and swallowed it. And it was on videotape. Versus finding out on your own.
Calvin Tilokee 31:49
hell of a family meeting
Mikko Miller 31:56
keep it real with the kids keep it real. Keep it.
Calvin Tilokee 32:02
So yeah, so listen, only one of us on this panel has kids. So, Steve, let’s just say, let’s just say you were the re j of the situation. But you were smarter than Ray J. And you’ve parlayed this opportunity into millions of dollars. Oh man and your daughter. Hey, Daddy, how come? We’re living in this mansion? How come people are pointing it when we walk down the street? How do you explain?
Steve Rudolph 32:33
So before I answer just so I can clarify here. Do I have to be living in a mansion? Or can I be on an island with my family?
Calvin Tilokee 32:42
I mean, I guess if you want to be you know you want to make Richard Branson with them.
Mikko Miller 32:47
Yeah, exactly.
Steve Rudolph 32:48
I’m saying I mean, if I had that money, I would. What? What the fuck would I do? I have no idea. I mean, at some point, you can’t hide it from the kid. You’ve got to be honest with the kid. The kid’s gonna find out sooner or later. You’d rather have them find it out. I guess on your terms versus just you know, stumbling across it on the internet. So let them watch it. I’ll fuck off. No way. No. I mean, I would tell him about
Calvin Tilokee 33:20
it. I mean, obviously want to do. Yeah.
Steve Rudolph 33:24
My kid wanting to watch my porno.
Mikko Miller 33:26
No, not wanting to watch you showing it because I think I would rather control the situation versus having a shock and be like, Oh, god, what did I just watch?
Steve Rudolph 33:36
To me? That’s akin to saying, Hey, I’m going to teach about the birds and the bees by watching Mom and I bang. That’s just not how it’s done. I don’t know what, maybe in the Trump family. That’s how they do it.
Calvin Tilokee 33:49
That’s probably Exactly. I’m sure.
Steve Rudolph 33:52
Yeah, but I can’t even fathom what it’s gotta be like telling a kid that. Tell them a kitten. Oh, it’s, I mean,
Calvin Tilokee 34:00
it’s crazy. I mean, as much as you know, mikkos example is hilarious. Yeah. But it’s like that’s controlling the situation. I mean, that kid’s gonna see it. Whether or not you show it to them or not. You know what I mean? So it’s no one.
Steve Rudolph 34:16
No amount of money at all. is worth that to me. I mean, millions and millions, like never have to work again. A day in my life. My kids would never have to work. I could never. I could never know. I couldn’t do it now.
Mikko Miller 34:32
No. See it anyway, though. They’re gonna see it anyway. Now, what if we just did this? What if you did this? What if you told them hey, there’s this tape of me doing XYZ? You’re probably going to come across it. You’re going to see it. I leave it up to you if you want to watch it or not, but I beg you not to. You think that’ll work though? Um, if I was a kid, I’d be like, I’m gonna watch this shit.
Steve Rudolph 34:54
Yeah, I mean, you know, I
I can’t speculate on that. On how my kid would would or wouldn’t watch it, I would, I would hope you wouldn’t. But there’s something that happened to me when I had a kid that my life became incredibly simplified. And, again, it’s true to form with the Chris Rock joke, the Chris Rock joke for everybody out there. All you got to do is keep the daughter off the pole. Right? And so, I mean, you can joke all you want about it, but my life became incredibly less complex, because I have a singular mission. And that is simply to just be a good dad. And so, you know, if,
Mikko Miller 35:40
fuck,
Steve Rudolph 35:41
now, I’m thinking, like, you know, before that I make it, you know, have money and then I want to have a kid cuz I had a kid later in life, huh? Fuck, what would I do?
Mikko Miller 35:53
It’s time right? It’s tough. It is tough.
Steve Rudolph 35:56
I would What? I’m thinking right now I would, I would change my name legally and get plastic surgery so that no one recognize me.
Mikko Miller 36:05
You can do that. You can. I’ve heard that before.
Steve Rudolph 36:08
I would probably tell her that then. Like, if I had to play out this, you know, no win scenario. I would change my facial appearance legally change my name. move to a different country in that situation? Sure. Fine. I’ll eventually tell her. But fuck that would be that would just be devastating.
Calvin Tilokee 36:30
It’s It’s impossible. Yeah. You know what made me think about it. Right. So I watch The Real Housewives with my wife. Right. So I’d be I’d be paying attention to dishes. And Real Housewives. I think it’s I think it’s, you know, get the
Steve Rudolph 36:48
fuck out of here. All right.
Calvin Tilokee 36:49
No, it’s either Orange County, or Beverly Hills. One of the two. I forget which one? But it’s the one. Dr. Denise Richards. I do got the shit on DVR youtube tv man. Unlimited.
Mikko Miller 37:04
I got that. Shout out.
Calvin Tilokee 37:08
Know, but it’s one of the California I think it’s Orange County. So that’s this is mikkos neck of the woods, but it’s with Denise Richards is on it. Right. And those of you may not know her most famous role was wildthings. Oh, yes. 97. Right. Yeah. 96 were in the movie is there’s a pretty graphic threesome with her and a couple of actors. And nine eating pools
Steve Rudolph 37:35
is what it is.
Mikko Miller 37:36
It is what it is. Yeah, it is what it is.
Calvin Tilokee 37:38
But this is this is how she became famous. And I think she’s done some she may have done posing for Playboy or whatever, at some point. But you know, that he is the host stuff is out there. And she has children now. And on one of these episodes, they’re at that at like a cocktail party. And then one of the other housewives on the show. They start talking about things of a sexual nature. And then she’s getting mad at them because her children were like, within earshot right now, yeah, yeah, exactly. And that was like, to an extent, you got a point you don’t should be talking about that in front of kids. Right? Right. But at the same time, she has done it in front of other people’s kids. And you’re also Denise Richards, who is mainly famous for sexual, you know, acting, right right now, here, but, you know, I mean, that really puts you into Hollywood, they really put you out there. So that’s kind of where you get this thing where you’re kind of being a hypocrite. Now, if you want to tell people don’t be sexual and don’t do this, your kids are gonna see that movie. You know, you think they don’t go to school, and somebody’s gonna be like, Oh, this is your mom right here. Yeah, you know what I mean? So since kids Exactly, yeah, perfect example. It’s a it’s a hard, it’s a really difficult situation to be in, but that’s the price you pay. If that’s the way you want to get your fame. You kind of got to do it.
Mikko Miller 39:04
Like you said, it’s the price of fame, right? Like, do you rewind time and not do that and be dirt poor and you know, end up being like a waitress or you know, professional somewhere making average living or do you parlay that into you know, hollywood millions and frolicking around with Charlie Sheen and whoever else she was dating like back at a time.
Calvin Tilokee 39:25
That’s the other thing is the Charlie Sheen’s kids. I mean, are you serious?
Steve Rudolph 39:29
Really? Yeah. Early gene.
Calvin Tilokee 39:33
Yeah, you’re not you’re not gonna hide. These are not innocent children.
Steve Rudolph 39:41
By the time that I say that in jest but Christ. That’s fucked up parenting right there.
Calvin Tilokee 39:51
Exactly. I mean, a nanny.
You kind of reproduce Oh, when it comes to that, right. So I mean, answer your question. I mean, I think you Yeah, you you do it because you want the fame and right you know everything that comes with that but this is just some shit you got to deal with you can’t hide your kids from that you can’t now want to tell people don’t be sexual around my children now, you know, obviously to and to an extent you know, but you know what I mean? Like this is how you got there they could anybody could pick up you know that playboy you’re in or anybody could watch that movie. Anybody could watch Kim Kardashian movie you know you think north is not going to see that at some point. You
Mikko Miller 40:31
know? Yeah, I agree. He He’s gonna have some kids they’re gonna grow up they’re gonna be preteen teenager they’re gonna start fumbling around through porn and all this stuff and they’re gonna see you know, whatever that movie is called a night with Kim or whatever the fuck they call that shit. And the kids are gonna be watching it then they’re gonna be like, Oh, this is my best friend’s mom. Oh, this is Miss You know, Mrs. West. And what that gonna lead into you’re gonna go to school be like Yo, North Hara mom begin down. And what’s he supposed to do? You know, literally. What’s the What’s he supposed to do? You know? Like, if he’s not aware of that situation it could devastate the kid. Yeah, yeah, that’s not daddy. That’s not daddy stick somebody else’s dig.
Calvin Tilokee 41:16
Ray J pop up you god damn right it aint!
put some respect on my name godammit
Pretty sure Ray J probably got notification set up for any mention of that. He just told me
Mikko Miller 41:37
that was me. pops up in school. That was me.
Calvin Tilokee 41:46
Oh, man. All right. So that that’s a good segue for this week’s I don’t like that jerk.
Mikko Miller 41:55
Yeah, so keeping up with the Kardashian theme. Halloween just occurred. For those who didn’t know, Mr. Travis Scott, supposedly supposedly took down his own Instagram account because people were making fun of his brown Batman costume. They said he looked like a fucking cockroach. They said he looked like shit. Literally. He posed in this brown Batman outfit in front of two of his brown vehicles. And they just said he looked like a cockroach. And this guy is so sensitive. That he took down all of his Instagram post, like completely deleted everything. And for me, it’s like you got to have thicker skin in that brother. You got to have thicker skin and that if that shit gets on your nerves. Wait till Kris Jenner side of Kylie Kardashians personality really comes out. What are you gonna do that? No. antidote for that one. Stop being super sensitive.
Calvin Tilokee 42:51
Real? Yeah, I was looking through some of the comments. Oh my god. I was dying. Somebody called him the UPS Batman.
Mikko Miller 43:02
He got roasted for wearing it. But you know what? You wore that outfit? You know you wore it. Take it. Don’t be super sensitive. That’s crazy. Why did he wear a brown Batman
Steve Rudolph 43:11
costume?
Mikko Miller 43:12
Yeah, that’s what people are trying to figure out. Well, that’s his color. All of his stuff in brown.
Calvin Tilokee 43:17
He looked like he looked like those Doberman shepherds. Those like this this McDonald’s you know, a partnership. He got way too far. He looked like them old McDonald’s. But one dad was sitting in the fridge too long. Got a little bit of white spots.
Mikko Miller 43:41
is a sensitive, man.
Steve Rudolph 43:45
You cannot be that sensitive, man.
Mikko Miller 43:47
Can’t you married a Kardashian? Man? You got to have thick skin.
Steve Rudolph 43:51
Travis got married a kardashian?
Calvin Tilokee 43:53
Yeah, Kylie Jenner. I don’t marry her to date. I don’t even know if they’re married. No, no, no. Who fucking knows.
Steve Rudolph 44:00
They calling him the UPS Batman.
Calvin Tilokee 44:04
I mean, they damn rich man.
Mikko Miller 44:07
Yeah, obviously we don’t keep up with the Kardashians.
Calvin Tilokee 44:12
Yeah. Oh, should I go? Cool. So let’s move on to get off my lawn.
Steve Rudolph 44:22
This get off my lawn is dedicated to the awkward Trump supporters who gave my kid candy as Halloween and here’s why. All I want to do is just get kid some candy. That’s it. I don’t want to hear about your politics. I don’t want to hear about your awkward joke. Or the fact that no one’s coming to you. I don’t give a shit about any of that. I don’t engage you in conversation. All I want to do is say hi, Happy Halloween. My kid says Trick or treat. She says thank you. We both leave amicably. That’s it. Huh? I mean, when I tell you, I’m like, I’m just here for the candy. I interrupted this man. In front of his wife, I’m like, three feet from him. I was probably like, six, seven feet. I go Say thank you. She said, Thank you. I turned on my heel and left. Mid sentence to this guy. I don’t want to hear. Yeah, man. Leave that shit. time and place my man time in place. Yeah. Awkward. fucking guy. He was awkward as all get out. Why would you want to politics? You know when does kids trick or treating? I mean, yeah, fuck. Yeah. Like they were taking Halloween to a weird way. Like they had this. They had strobe lights going. And then they had screens, not like a spooky like, ooh, it was like some It was like a thing of someone screaming. This is what we’re gonna. This is Halloween to my kid. And then I looked at the quality of the candy. It was shitty candy.
Calvin Tilokee 45:51
What do they
Steve Rudolph 45:54
not eat? It was a starlight meant I would have gone back and think that. I was just about to say that. giving away a candy. That by itself is decent. But on Halloween. Come on. You got to level up. They were giving away tootsie rolls. And now we’re not like fresh tootsie rolls. These sons of bitches. were hard as a rock.
Calvin Tilokee 46:28
Looking like Travis Scott. Tootsie roll Man. Maybe they were big Travis scott fans.
Steve Rudolph 46:44
Maybe you know what? Maybe I’ll go back and talk to him an hour. Next week? Yeah, I get off my lawn is that come on? Nice. At home,
Mikko Miller 46:57
my not quite down that path. But I’m minus for the new hires that our company hires and coming up, and just saying that they need a day off, not ask for a day off. They come to the office and say, Hey, I need a day off. And the exact words that they say is, Hey, I’m taking off tomorrow. Okay. Like they automatically assume that they would get the day off? I’m not okay. Are you asking me? Or are you telling me that you need the day off? You know, you really should be asking me right. Because you know, is it for personal day? Is it a last minute emergency? Did Michael Jackson molest someone in your family? What is it? Is it your birthday? You really should be asking if tomorrow is open for vacation, and then you can have it off. Like don’t don’t just assume that you’re gonna get tomorrow off just because you told me you needed a day off.
Calvin Tilokee 47:58
If you need a day off, you knew that shit weeks ago, right? Unless it’s an emergency. Like who needs Who? Oh, I’m gonna take off tomorrow. What I’m saying is to be noticed. Yeah.
Mikko Miller 48:09
I mean, even for us, there’s like a we have what’s called a life balance day where we cannot not approve it. If it’s given two weeks in the vets, whether vacations role or not. If you give us two weeks notice on a life balance code, we have to give it to you know, ask whether or not the next day not the next. Who does the hair. I think tomorrow off, come on and get off my lawn. Yeah.
Calvin Tilokee 48:36
Mine this week, I think is a pretty standard one. You know, people on speakerphone in public?
Mikko Miller 48:43
Yeah.
Calvin Tilokee 48:47
Yeah, what the fuck? It’s like, hold on. Not only do we need to hit your annoying ass on the phone, we need to hear the moron that’s talking to you. Get the fuck out. It isn’t really that hard to hold the phone to your ear. You’re not saving any energy, you still got to hold the phone. You know, it’s, it’s like To me it really just boggles my mind what the fuck people do this for? It’s like, do you need that much attention.
Mikko Miller 49:11
And apparently,
Calvin Tilokee 49:13
one time I actually said that to a guy on the subway, where he had his phone on speakers blasting music, because it’s like, God forbid you would use headphones or not hear music when you were on the subway. But I was looking at him and he kind of gave me that look like look me up and down. Like what the fuck? And I said, you know, you know what, one of these days somebody’s gonna give you that attention you’re looking for
Steve Rudolph 49:36
nice,
Mikko Miller 49:37
right?
Calvin Tilokee 49:38
And I was I just ignored him the rest of the way. But it’s like I was raised right and I’m not trying to go to jail. So I’m not just going to pull off and coldcock you like I should I but somebody will? Yeah, somebody Well, you’re gonna be in the wrong train at the wrong time. And you’ll be doing that bullshit. And somebody is going to not give a fuck more than you don’t give a fuck. So keep playing. If you want
Mikko Miller 50:03
reminds me that you too were that black guy Cameron was named a big buff black guy. He slaps the cigarettes out of people’s hands. Yes. Yes, yeah. I heard he got shot. Oh, doing it.
Calvin Tilokee 50:18
Well, somebody don’t give a fuck more than you don’t. them muscles aint bulletproof dog.
Mikko Miller 50:26
Yeah, see? And that’s like, like you said, someone’s gonna come up and you’re gonna do that shit to the wrong person that’s around you and they’re just gonna coldcock you and you know, that’s what you get.
Yes, exactly, exact.
Calvin Tilokee 50:39
Anyway, time for our Chris Rock quote of the week.
Steve Rudolph 50:44
Got one, but it’s not. It’s not Chris Rock.
Calvin Tilokee 50:47
All right, that’s fine.
Steve Rudolph 50:48
Kat Williams. Good.
Mikko Miller 50:50
Nice. Nice, nice.
Steve Rudolph 50:52
I thought this one was pretty appropriate, given the amount of time that I spent with my daughter this past weekend and the nonsense that we ran into with that Trump house. He goes, and I can’t do Katt Williams voice my, I’m not gonna punch myself in the wax and then trying you know, whatever, like, but if you go get a disease, I’m allergic to stupid shit. Now, some of y’all might have the same disease. But if you have the disease, you know, for a fact it does not start when you’re an adult. starts when your child. I remember being a child being allergic to stupid shit. And I look at my daughter’s face sometimes when I do something dumb or she sees something dumb. Like god, she’s only four and she’s got it. I know she’s got it. She’s not gonna suffer any fools. It’s gonna be great.
Calvin Tilokee 51:43
I feel like I actually feel like it’s really appropriate for your daughter. I feel like Yeah, yeah. Yeah. She has like a very low bullshit tolerance. She does. Oh, she does. Yeah, I’m not surprised at all. She’s such a great kid.
Steve Rudolph 51:58
He’s a great kid.
Mikko Miller 52:01
Awesome. Awesome. So elections coming up. Wednesday, Tuesday, it’s it’s a it’s elections coming up. And we were talking about joe biden’s age. And you know, him being I think 78 is like the big topic that a lot of Democrats and Republicans talk about. But remember when Chris Rock was talking about john mccain’s age, so he had a stand up where he talked about john mccain, and he was like 72. john mccain is 72 years old. He was too old. 10 years ago. 72 He’s so old. He used to own Sidney Poitier. I don’t need a president. Yeah. 72 I’ve been 78 Yeah, yeah. That was my watch. Yeah.
Calvin Tilokee 53:04
Yeah, mine’s also along the election theme, but kind of like paraphrasing it a bit. It was when he was talking about the oj verdict. The Browns full circle for the episode. Everybody out there like we won, we won. What the fuck did we win. Every day. I checked my mailbox, my oj prize. None. So on Wednesday, by the time y’all hear it is we’ll have either the same president or the new president. Don’t matter. No matter who win Calm the fuck down. Yeah, you wouldn’t want it.
Mikko Miller 53:38
Yeah. I ugly?
Calvin Tilokee 53:40
What? Just Just because, gang you reppin you know, won doesn’t mean anything. Okay.
Steve Rudolph 53:48
Calvin, when you’re saying this, you were saying that I had I flashback to high school. When these two girls I’m not gonna say Who? But they were running around the whole school saying we won. He’s free.
Mikko Miller 54:04
Yeah, OJ. One, we’re free.
Calvin Tilokee 54:10
Yeah, so we wrap it up. So we could talk about that in the post show. There. Yeah. All right. So speaking of high school, one of our old high school buddies gave us a shout out, quote, unquote, you guys are hilarious. I’ll be tuning in from now on. From Erica Stephenson. So shout out.
Steve Rudolph 54:29
Yeah, that’s fantastic. What’s up, Erica? Thank you, Erica.
Mikko Miller 54:34
Thank you. Thank you.
Calvin Tilokee 54:35
Yeah, thank you for the support. tell all your friends and we’ll hit you with the outros. Now, as always, this is Calvin. Check me out on revparblems.com where you will find my entire social media empire.
Mikko Miller 54:47
And this is Mikko to Filipino catch me on Instagram at Mikko underscore eats where you can watch me stuff my face for a day.
Steve Rudolph 54:54
Sorry. fucking up the outro This is Steve you can catch me every week with Cal and Mikko on the midlife crisis podcast.
Calvin Tilokee 55:04
All right. Thank you for joining us on another episode of midlife crisis podcast. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please leave us a review on iTunes and tell a friend keep up with us see what I did there and keep up with us on Instagram at midlife crisis podcast, and also be like Steve get on Twitter, at midlyfepod. show notes but this and all episodes are available on midlife crisis podcast.com where you can also sign up for the mailing list. Drop us a note, let us know what topics you’d like us to discuss. Thanks for tuning in, and we’ll catch you on the next one.
Mikko Miller 55:37
Ray J hit it first.
Steve Rudolph 55:39
Let’s go
