Calvin Tilokee 0:02
Hello and welcome to the midlife crisis podcast. I’m your host Calvin, also known as Revparblems on Instagram. I’m excited to do this talk show with my best friends from high school and college. Steve and Mikko, what can you expect on this podcast? Well, I like to call it a talk show for Men of a Certain Age. We’re not quite old. But we’re the kind of guys that have to make sure we don’t miss our alcohol and a night out, you know, we’ll chat about current events, trending topics, and things that we just need to get on our soapbox about knowing us. We’ll be laughing the whole time. And ladies, don’t worry. If you ever wanted to know what your husband or boyfriend talks about in the man cave. Stick around. Now, keep in mind, we’re old enough to remember when Parental Advisory stickers went on CDs. If you don’t know what CDs are, you’re too young for this podcast. Speaking of which, make sure you have your headphones in. It’s NSFW as these kids say. We’ll be bringing that flavor to you weekly on your way to work while you’re shaving. Or just sitting around wondering why a backer so let’s get this show on the road. Hello and welcome to midlife crisis podcast. I’m your host Calvin. Here as always with my boy Steven Mikko, bringing that flavor to you here on a weekly basis. On today’s episode, we’ll be discussing Horrible Bosses. We got some stories from the audience and we can’t wait to dive into these. Of course, we’re bringing you off Chris Rock quote of the week. I don’t know that shit. I don’t like that jerk. And as always get off my lawn. But first How was the week fellas?

Steve 1:24
I have had a week. It’s just been nuts. Works been nuts. And it keeps fucking snowing. All the time. I salt my driveway. It snows. I got a long driveway. Like my driveway is detached from my house. It’s in the back of my lot. So I’ve got like a shed I got like a 75 foot driveway. And Damn, it’s big.

Mikko Miller 1:48
It’s when she said exactly

Calvin Tilokee 1:50
I was gonna say we still talk about asphalt. blacktop.

Steve 2:02
What I get jazzed about now is I get jazzed about having my driveway completely devoid of snow. My sidewalk nice and devoid of snow. Like the only guy in the block. Who does it? I don’t know. That’s how I get my rocks during COVID.

Calvin Tilokee 2:18
And these rocks

Steve 2:22
it’s just nuts, man.

Calvin Tilokee 2:24
Not as this goes out of control, bro.

Steve 2:26
And this is my first time owning a home before I was always in apartment and it was somebody else taking care of it. Never. Yeah, just yeah, it’s clean. Now I got it now I’m a homeowner. I’m responsible. Yeah, it’s ridiculous.

Calvin Tilokee 2:40
I’m with you. And that has been snowing like crazy out here in New York. It’s we get I think, eight more inches of snow on Friday. This is just yeah, it’s like we’ve already got a foot and a half over the past week. And you know, you guys know and obviously audience, if you’ve been listening is I’m out moving to LA in a couple of months. And New York is like making sure I never missed this bitch. They even trying to like let me go quietly and be like, Oh, why don’t you stay? It’s so nice here still, they’re like no, I you know what, fuck you then. That’s right. Take us know,

Steve 3:18
as soon as you announced that news. The first thing that ran through my mind was the biggie song going back to Cali. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Like it was it was like it like a knee jerk reaction. Mm hmm. Good stuff. And

Calvin Tilokee 3:30
I’m listening to a lot of West Coast. West Coast rap. I’m like getting Yeah, I’ve been every every chat. I’m like on SoundCloud. I’m on Spotify, like that, I think, you know, like getting into it. Blackett. I can’t wait. I’m excited. We listed our apartment today. We had the photoshoot today for selling the condo. So it was getting real. Like we had to take everything off the fridge and like start cleaning off shelves. And it’s like, yo, like, why me doing this? Like, yeah, like, once you get the visual of shit coming down off the walls and stuff. It’s like, Oh, okay. It’s happening. It’s real. But yeah,

dealing with the realtors is like night and day between New York and LA man. It’s like, I’m fucking pulling teeth out here. These dudes in LA like y’all real laid back and listen, yeah, I’m looking forward to that when I get there. But I’m a need for these dudes to step to shut up now be so I can get there. I mean, literally, I think like 10 realtors deep right now and one guy is on point. You know, and, and I’m an organized person. So my wife and I went through everything we could possibly need want in the neighborhood. In a house, I gave you option 123. This is our budget. This is our budget. If we do this, we could stretch if you find this, you know, it’s like a lengthy email and I’ve sent this to everybody and then most of them come back And they’re like, Oh, well, you know, you’re saying anywhere around, you know, 45 minutes anywhere around LA area. That’s a big area. Yeah, I know. La is a big fucking city. I’m aware of this.

Mikko Miller 5:14
That’s why we need your help.

Calvin Tilokee 5:18
Right? You know, and ideally, we’re looking for a house that has a cottage or like, garages out there apparently that cold at us. I’m learning, you know? And most of these people are like, Oh, well, you know that option one is just gonna be so hard to find. I can’t find anything. And it’s like, bitch, I’m finding things myself. Oh, wow. And this is not my full time job. So how to fuck you can’t find them. Like I’m a need for y’all to get off your ass and do some work when I get there we can go back to chillin actually just reminded myself remember Pulp Fiction? When he walked in? You know that the famous scene with the big kahuna burger. Oh, yeah. That guy’s about to get off the couch. I don’t know. Keep chilling. keeps him

Steve 6:06
late for him. Yeah, he

Calvin Tilokee 6:08
does gracefully. is only Samuel. Jessica, do you like that? keep killing. I love that shit. Yeah, man.

Mikko Miller 6:15
You forget that movie more often?

Calvin Tilokee 6:18
Yeah. Oh, for sure. For sure. But uh, yeah, well by you Mikko.

Mikko Miller 6:23
As you guys know, COVID vaccine, healthcare. So I got my second dose over the last weekend. And I didn’t get the side effects that everyone said that we would all get, you know, within 24 hours. That’s just me like after my third day. So I got it on Friday, on a Friday to recover for Saturday, Sunday. And it’d be back at work on Monday, you know, COVID, free symptom free. And no man it hit me Monday, like Sunday afternoon to Monday morning. body aches. I kid you not I probably could have slept for three days in a row. I was a very tired I’ve never felt that tired before. headaches. My eyes felt like it was burning and it lasted for about two and a half days. And then today was actually the first day that I actually felt normal. No body aches, no fatigue. You know, no achy pains anywhere. I can raise my arm above my shoulder, my head. You know, so I had to deal with that like, oh, last last couple of days in over the weekend, so I really haven’t done much to be honest.

Calvin Tilokee 7:30
Okay, Damn, that’s good. You did you though. That was your second one.

Mikko Miller 7:34
Second one, sir. All done. I’m ready to go. Ready to fly baby.

Calvin Tilokee 7:38
That’s it, baby. Yes. Yeah. Just just popping up places. Mikko Saudi hanging from the ceiling.

Mikko Miller 7:50
Right. That’s right. Poof. Poof. Poof. Jessica Alba’s house. Poof

Calvin Tilokee 8:04
you know, they always ask that question is like, What? What superpower would you want? Yeah, that would be mine. I would want to teleport. Yeah, like just snap your fingers Oh, hey, I’m in the Maldives on the beach. chillin you know, like you just do that show on your lunch break just go for swim in fucking Hawaii on your lunch break and come back.

Mikko Miller 8:25
No factor right. That’s that’s the most valuable thing for us in times. No fact you can just be anywhere you want to be and that’s all that invincibility or invisibility my bed that Oh, yeah. Not too close to how much you know. perverts. perverts,

Calvin Tilokee 8:41
man. I say See, I’m on a hold it for love. I’m thinking like, yo, you can sneak on a plane without a ticket. You just walk on buffet goes Oh, no, you there? You know, Rob. Just be sitting in the exit row. Yeah, yeah. shit like that.

Mikko Miller 8:58
Or show up at Jessica Alba’s house.

Calvin Tilokee 9:04
We’ve had to tag Jessica up in this episode. This is the most airplay she’s gotten at least a decade. And

Mikko Miller 9:11
it was it was it? Yeah, that’s true. All right. I got an account. About you cow. All right.

Calvin Tilokee 9:23
Oh, no. Yeah. I told mine. It was just me was the realtors. Really? Yeah. Okay. That’s the that’s been the big thing for the week just trying to get get that but we found a guy. You know, he’s pretty much on point. He kind of he responds quickly, you know, within hours, actually. So I found him last Friday afternoon. And then I had to take my mother to the airport. By the time I dropped her off at the airport. I was getting in the car to come home. He had sent me some listings. So I forwarded them to my wife. I was like, hey, check them out. I’m getting in the car. By the time I got home, which is 35 minutes later, she went through them. She’s like, Yo these are all good. These are all work. I was like, Yo Do so i’m uh hopefully he got Instagram once this this is all done. If we go go through with him I would give him a nice shout out because he on point so far. Nice. But yeah, let’s uh, let’s get into these comments, Horrible Bosses we’ve all had him, we all hate him. So I opened us up to Revparblems opened up some comments on my story this week, give me some horrible boss stories and can be there’s a couple doozies in here. And some have actually reminded me, and I’m sure you guys will be reminded of some some situations you’ve dealt with. So we’re gonna jump into them. We’ll share some stories. We’ll give you some advice if we got any. And it’s our first mailbag episode. It’s kind of exciting, actually.

Mikko Miller 10:47
Nice. Sweet. Oh,

Calvin Tilokee 10:49
so we got a Dave you know what to do? Alright, right. So first one, is one of my bosses would conspire with my associates behind thin walls about me.

Steve 11:07
That is some petty shit. Yeah. Now, let’s just call this what it is. That is some petty shit. And if you have a boss, who is that childish about the situation? I mean, to me, you need to make an exit plan, you need to start figuring out how to deal with I mean, any boss, you need to figure out how to deal with a toxic boss. And there’s a ton of articles out there about it. But then you need to figure out your you know, exit strategy, whatever that is. Yeah. I mean, if he’s talking about you behind a thin wall,

Mikko Miller 11:45
yeah.

Steve 11:46
Get your resume together, get your LinkedIn together, go to HR if you need to. But that’s ridiculous stuff. I’d be curious what the associates have to say.

Calvin Tilokee 11:56
Yeah. Yeah, that’s,

Steve 11:58
you know, yeah.

Mikko Miller 12:00
I’m gonna flip it around. I’m gonna flip it around. Did you deserve to be conspired about? Are you that POS type of worker that, you know, all the good workers and a good boss would conspire to get rid of? Because, you know, if everyone’s conspiring against you plus your boss, maybe the problem is you. I’m just saying playing devil’s advocate here. Don’t know, kill me again.

Steve 12:21
If that has happened, should the manager be speaking about an employee with someone who is not a manager? Because like, if you’re talking about an employee with no, no, no, with another employee, that’s not on your level? That doesn’t fly? Because if that employee in that in the one you’re talking about work together, that’s some toxic shit. I mean, that’s Firebase stuff.

Calvin Tilokee 12:42
I agree. It should be. Yeah. No, it should be. Yeah. I mean, I definitely take Nico’s point, you know, you may want to maybe inspect your behavior. If everybody is willing to talk shit about you completely, you know, you might be a problem. But no respectable boss, no respectable manager would be getting involved in in any kind of shit like that.

Steve 13:01
And I think all of these questions should be, you know, with a fair amount of disclaimer that we don’t have a lot of context around these, all we have is the question. So without a lot of context, this is my opinion anyway, on these questions. But yeah, that’s some HR stuff right there. But for sure, for sure. Get your resume together and be prepared. Make that exit strategy? For sure. Yeah. I can’t believe someone would do that.

Calvin Tilokee 13:29
And listen, don’t worry. We got some here. I’ll share some stories. This was funny as I’m reading a lot of these comments. And each one of them reminds me of the same dude. Oh, really? Yeah, there’s like three or four different shitty situations. I’m like, he did all of these things. Yeah. See,

Steve 13:47
I was reading through these. And I thought about the exact same company, the same company I worked at in Chicago, each one of these things happened at

Calvin Tilokee 13:55
smartech. Know, anybody? in case anybody doesn’t know. smarttech was where they work that in the 40 year old virgin.

Oh, shit. All right. So next one. We had a GM that was caught with the sales manager in his office by his wife.

Steve 14:24
We’re gonna assume there, they were caught in a compromising position.

Calvin Tilokee 14:29
Yes, I don’t think it was a, you know, exit interview or anything like that. Or, you know, just a performance review.

Mikko Miller 14:43
performance. Yeah. Now, so.

Calvin Tilokee 14:49
Yeah, I mean, I don’t even know what to say about that one. You know, it does. I guess the follow up question is, why would your wife just be showing up to your office if you know your wife is The kind of wife who’s just gonna walk in to your job and knock on the door, probably not the place to go. She must

Steve 15:07
have had good reason he was probably stupid. I mean, cuz clearly the wife knew and she was there to catch, and he’s probably a shitty GM too.

Calvin Tilokee 15:15
Well, obviously, I mean, you ain’t doing a work, right? And then work, but you ain’t doing work

Mikko Miller 15:21
or issue.

Steve 15:23
Just, you know, kind of it speaks to a larger theme around just morals and morality. I mean, if, if I’m working for someone, I want to know that they’re morally sound, I want to know that they’re, you know, a fundamentally good person because you can’t bust your ass for a piece of shit. I’ve tried working for pieces of shit. I’ve tried working for alcoholics. I’ve tried working for egomaniacs. And it’s it’s just soul crushing. I mean, so I’d be curious to know if that GM sucked in other fat facets of being a manager other than just, you know, being a shitty husband. What do you guys mean? Could you work for a complete fucking asshole? of No, who’s just like a shitty nurse? And maybe they’re not like an asshole at work, but maybe, you know, they do blow every now and then they cheat on their wives. They, you know, I don’t know, they slap their kid who knows? But like, let’s say they know you had a good job, but they were a shitty person. How would that impact you?

Calvin Tilokee 16:21
You know what, you know, what’s funny is, as I said, a lot of these stories remind me of, I’ve had two or three really shitty GM, like, like, really bad. And one, I would say, the best GM that I ever worked for. He had a reputation of sleeping around with staff. And, you know, I look back at it. And it’s like, out of all the gyms I worked for, he was the best because as far as the work, went, he kind of let you do what you needed to do. He didn’t micromanage he wasn’t an asshole. He followed up, he created an environment where people could do their jobs happily. Okay. But he apparently I mean, not that I’ve ever caught him in the act. But there was a lot of rumors from even when he came in, it was like, yo, he’s, he’s a bit of a womanizer. But he’s, you know, he’s a good GM. And it’s kind of like, I guess for me, typically, I would shy away from something like that. And I’d be like, Listen, you know, I don’t know about this guy. But that’s his personal shit. And as long as we work together, and again, by comparison to all the other assholes I worked for, it’s uh, I’ll tolerate that any day over some of the other shit that I’ve dealt with.

Mikko Miller 17:34
Man, that’s, that’s some crazy. So I don’t even know how I would feel about if I had a GM that was a womanizer. I wouldn’t even think twice about it to be honest with you. Because in my opinion, stuff like that happens. I’ve seen you know, GM day. managers and supervisors that are underneath them. I’ve seen them have relationships. If it was like a cheating type of relationship where the manager was married, the GM was married or the supervisor was married, and the GM was married think that’d be one thing, because that goes to what Steve says about, like, you know, morality and stuff like that. But if they were both single, I wouldn’t even think twice about it. To be honest, I

Steve 18:18
completely agree. I mean, you know, if a manager is sleeping with a subordinate, who there could be issues there around, you know, are you using a power position to get it, whatever. But yeah, if they’re single, it’s a much different story. If either of you had a boss, who’s asked you to wing man him?

Calvin Tilokee 18:41
Nah,

Steve 18:42
no, that’s some uncomfortable shit. I had a guy who was like, two or three levels above me. It was like, at the end of our fiscal year, everybody goes out and they’ll just get blada. And this guy was out. And he like, zeroed in on me, I think because I was like one of the taller people that he recognized out of this group. And he’s like, pissed, drunk again. He smells like puke, throws his arm around me. He goes, we’re gonna get some. It’s always said, I’m looking at him. And I’m like, you know, it’s 130 in the morning, all I want to do is go home to my wife and you gotta go this fuckin asshole. I immediately ordered like four shots of tequila on him. And we’re just doing them. I did one shot. Yeah. And I motioned for water. And I just started doing water shots while he’s doing tequila. And then I fucking love them. Yeah, exactly. It was a 10 minute conversation. I got that guy so shut faced.

How do you do that?

Calvin Tilokee 19:42
Alright, so next one we got is the boss screamed and cursed at me because it took the day off that she gave me after my first two weeks there. Also, she bought a blazer for me, I’m assuming uniform that didn’t fit. She then reminded me that I said I had wanted to lose weight anyway.

Mikko Miller 20:03
Oh, tough. That’s a real, real piece of work. Yeah. I mean, one being yelled at for something that you were approved for a long time ago. That’s, that’s stupid. That’s a dick move on any kind of boss. It’s one thing to not remember that someone asked for the day off. But it’s another thing to yell at someone after you gave them the day off anyway, you know, thinking they probably just took the day off, but the blazer that didn’t fit, and then telling you that Oh, yeah, I got you to size small because Didn’t you tell me that you wanted to lose weight anyway? dick move. That’s a total dick move right there.

Calvin Tilokee 20:39
Yes, yeah. Yeah.

Steve 20:41
It’s

Calvin Tilokee 20:43
not a whole lot to say about that. I mean, that’s pretty much self explanatory. I mean, obviously, you’d want to take that to HR. But it could be tough. Sometimes you may not be in a position where you don’t want to leave, you know, and it’s always the fear of retaliation. I mean, if somebody’s going to do that, without any fear of something happening, or what i think you know, what I’ve been reprimanded, like, what happens when they angry at you, because they got reprimanded, you know, two people, it’s like, that’s just fucked up. Obviously, I don’t really even know what else to say about that one. But hopefully, you’re not working for that cloud anymore.

Steve 21:18
You know, the thing that I always took solace in, whenever I encountered a really toxic co worker or boss, is that I can’t be the first person that this asshole has done this to, and nine times out of 10, I wasn’t. And so, you know, in preparing for the subject tonight, I was looking around to see what advice people give it to handle these these situations. And one of them is to engage a support network of some kind, whether it’s fellow employees, whether it’s, you know, a mentor, whether it’s a therapist, whoever to deal with it, just from like an emotional level, because it can be some uncomfortable stuff to deal with. And then when you do go to HR, if you should go down that route, see if you can build consensus with other employees. Because if you’re not the only one, and there’s a bigger issue here, you may be doing everybody a favor by bringing it to light having the guts to bring it to light. And then you know, it’s in hrs hands from there.

Calvin Tilokee 22:17
Yeah, that’s a really, really good point. And I think that kind of goes back to a point we raised when we were talking about women’s issues in the workplace. And I think that’s the same kind of concept about you know, about me too. And, you know, people coming out against Weinstein and Cosby and all these people, you hear a lot out there, like, Oh, well, how come? They didn’t say anything before? It’s because they don’t feel that it’s safe. There’s strength in numbers. Yeah, you know, one person breaks down that wall, then you’re like, Okay, well, it’s not just me, then he can’t retaliate against just me, you know, or he or she, in this case, obviously. So that’s a really strong point there. Yeah.

Steve 22:56
Yeah, maybe it’s not the first time they’ve been reported to HR in the end, like, you are the straw that broke the camel’s back, so to speak. Yeah,

Mikko Miller 23:04
that’s what I keep no real goes too far.

Steve 23:07
Exactly.

Calvin Tilokee 23:09
Exactly. Exactly. You know, Steve, to your point, they may have been written up at previous jobs, you know, maybe they’ve moved from a different city. You know, kind of like the Eddie Murphy talking about shy bitches you know, you know, all them savage is a Dave bro wireless hell, and you know, got all these skeletons in a closet from another city, then they come to your city and won’t get quiet. That’s why they frightened, afraid of fucking bones gonna fall out of their mouth. All these skeletons. You know,

Steve 23:44
if anyone out there is thinking about doing this, and they are going to HR, you know, the one thing I can tell you is, stick to the facts. Whenever you’re relaying this to HR, stick to the facts. I don’t care what your thought is on the subject. I don’t care what your feelings are on the subject. When HR is asking you what happened. stick to the facts. Stick naturally, you know, share how it made you feel at all, but don’t say, you know, because he’s a bad boss. He’s a bad husband. He probably beats his wife. He probably throws old women down the stairs. But don’t let it Don’t let it get outside of the issue that you’re trying to focus on. Otherwise, you’re gonna lose credibility.

Mikko Miller 24:26
Right? Yeah, right. Right. Notes, timelines, dates, keep all of that stuff handy and log back all of that

Steve 24:32
shit. Exactly. Mikko that’s a great point. Login.

Calvin Tilokee 24:37
Yeah, that’s Yeah, great. Great point yet, keep a timeline anytime something happens. I learned that early. Yes. Keep like a little word document or something like that. And just every day something happens to keep a note. Write it down, you know?

Mikko Miller 24:51
Yes, sir.

Calvin Tilokee 24:53
All right. The next one we’ve got is Iran reports for months, and my boss turned them in as his own.

Steve 25:02
Dick move.

Mikko Miller 25:04
You know what, though, that that happens though here, here’s, here’s here’s why. Here’s why. Right? Well, it depends on what the position is of this person, this is this person, the Secretary is this person, like the department administrator that’s supposed to do that stuff. Because a lot of times Good point, the supervisors or managers asked for a report, and they’re not going to give you the credit for it, because you’re basically running it for them. And there’s an understanding there that whatever report you run, I got a report and it’s gonna come like it’s coming from me. Right? Yeah,

Calvin Tilokee 25:32
that’s a good point. That’s a good point.

Steve 25:34
It’s also a good point.

Mikko Miller 25:36
Yeah, just playing devil’s advocate.

Steve 25:38
I mean, if they are trying to pass off your work as their own, though, you have a shitty boss, and the likelihood of them giving you a leg up, because they see you as their mule, the likelihood of you getting out from under that person with a promotion is slim. So you get out from under that person by moving laterally moving to a different department, maybe? Those? Yeah,

Calvin Tilokee 26:02
yeah. No, that’s a good point. I mean, I think, you know, to Mikko’s point, if you’re somebody’s assistant, there, you know, there is there’s, there’s an expectation that hey, okay, this work comes out of my office. And, you know, it’s going to ultimately have my name on it. Yeah,

Steve 26:17
if you’re an assistant, you’re an assistant.

Calvin Tilokee 26:19
But at the same time, I mean, I think any good boss is going to shine light on somebody who’s helping them, you know, if you’re working on a big project, you know, I say, for example, we had to prepare for budget meetings, and I, my analysts would help put the book together, put certain analysis together, you give them that credit in the meeting. So that’s your, you know, if you’re comfortable, empowering other people, right, as I’ve always wanted to help my analysts grow as long as they wanted to. And they showed the skill and the the ability to do that, and I was uncomfortable attaching My name to them. Sure. Hey, you know, what, we got this analysis such and such was able to help us out with this. And here we go. Right? Ultimately, it’s still coming from me in my office, I have approved it, but give the person a credit. And let them get that that moment of shine. Because you never know next year, you may not be in that spot. And you know, they may be able to step up into a bigger role. It’s all about getting your name out there, ultimately. And you can help them do that by shining a light on the work that they help you with. If you’re not a egotistical dick, that is

Steve 27:27
maybe you’re not an egotistical deck, but you’re just an untalented Fuck, and your only way of climbing the corporate ladder is to step on people. Either way, you’re a piece of shit. Yeah,

Mikko Miller 27:36
yeah. Yeah. You know,

Calvin Tilokee 27:37
this is also that that happened to me in a big way. In one of my last hotels, actually, I had a GM take credit for my work. So this GM, he was like a big ass kisser, you know, he took brown nose to a whole new level, you know, anything the owner said he was doing, it didn’t matter if it made sense, or it didn’t fucking make sense. It was like, if they said it, we had to do it. And it was like, they hire us to manage the hotel, because they don’t know how to if they knew hotels, and they knew the business, they’d be running it themselves, right. So we have to guide them, your role as a GM ultimately is to manage the ownership and manage their expectations. But in New York City, we have the United Nations General Assembly, which we just call you nga. That shit is like the Superbowl of revenue management, you prep all year, from the time it ends, you’re already prepping for the next year and putting in your strategies for that next year. Because the ATR is the average daily rates at that point will skyrocket. And you know, depending on, on the type of hotel, you’re managing this could get into the 1000s $2,000 a night like per room and sell out your hotel, you will make bank right. And like I said, it’s like our Super Bowl, it’s like, you know, everybody’s competing with each other who got the highest ADR that night, and everything. So when I was at this hotel, I had been there, probably six months when this happened, actually a little bit less than five months. And the hotel was seven years old. I set a record ADR that hotel, over $736 per room for that night. And that was not only the highest in the hotel history, it was highest in the company for that year. Any hotel across the country, I had the highest ADR, this bitch goes insensitive to ownership, like he did. You know what I mean? And it’s like, Listen, ultimately, you know, the GM is going to send that email to the to the ownership, right? Like, again, that’s gonna come from him. But you know, you didn’t sit here and implement those strategies over the past five months. And sit there I mean, you’re talking about, like, it gets so intense where you’re changing your way multiple times in an hour, like you see a room sell at 500 bucks, then you’re like, you know what, maybe I can get 900 there was a point, I was selling room for $2,000 that night, during that day, you know, and, and then I’d like i’d scale it back to like, 1899. Okay, sell a room, you know what, let’s push it back up. I mean, we’re doing that, and I stress myself the fuck out all night. For that, and you can even put in the email, you know, hey, shout out to Calvin for getting this done. You know, you want to send it like, like you did, you didn’t do a fucking thing.

Steve 30:30
You know, an advantage I have working in, in the industry I work in is that if we get a win, it’s a team when you call out the entire team. And when my management, you know, reports up, they call us out so and so had a good win, or this guy had a good win, or, you know, whatever. And I just think it goes back to you know, that those leadership qualities, I mean, was the GM in question with you count was that GM, a solid GM in every other area, but this? No,

Calvin Tilokee 31:01
no, he was, he was probably the worst at a lot. He was very, very immature. He didn’t do anything. He felt that B and GM was gonna put on nice suits, walk around look good until other people kind of just like pointed people and tell them what to do. He, he made no connection with anybody on the team. He wasn’t liked by anyone. And I don’t mean like, not like this, if he was like a bad personality, like on a day to day basis, you could say hello, and have a conversation with the guy. But he didn’t get anything done. You know, it was talk about doing a lot of shit. But it was ultimately everybody else had to do work. And he was just there to be pretty and I guess take all the credit, you know. And, as an aside to that story, my VP of revenue, when he sent the email to the whole company, about people who had set records at their hotels, he made a whole list. Shout out to all of these people who for their hard work and for hitting these records at their respective hotels, ultimately, that reflects on him because now the SVP is going to look at him and say, Wow, all of such and such hotels did really well. That’s that’s great. But he shouted us out to do it. You’re going to get your credit because we work for you. So you’re going to shine your your leadership says, hey, look, these people are working. This guy’s portfolio is cranking. He must be doing something right. And he this GM was too immature to get that he felt that I need to take this credit because then I’m going to look good to these owners and he just worried about itself. And that’s not leadership.

Mikko Miller 32:32
Facts. Straight facts. Yeah.

Calvin Tilokee 32:38
Right.

Steve 32:40
What else we got? More? Oh, we

Calvin Tilokee 32:42
got more. There’s no doubt about it. We’re about halfway through. Alright, so this one is funny. I was given 60 days to find a new job. And that was replaced by a girl My boss wanted to sleep with.

Steve 32:53
I’m surprised to give you 60

Calvin Tilokee 32:56
Yeah, that’s actually kind of nice.

Mikko Miller 32:58
Yeah. I mean, 30 days or 10 days in, you’re out, right? Yeah.

Steve 33:03
60 days to find a new job. Wow. I that’s unheard of. Cuz shit. I mean, that’s a lot of time to fuck around and bad mouth. I can’t believe the boss gave you that. That long.

Calvin Tilokee 33:19
You should be grateful. You sound like a good boss.

Mikko Miller 33:28
Yeah, say in this situation. That’s just that’s just a weird scenario to be replaced by someone that your boss wants to sleep with. I mean, obviously, within the 60 days, the person that got hired was found or was rumored to be sleeping with your boss. And that’s how you came up with the conclusion that the girl that was hired was someone that your boss wanted to sleep with, apparently, but damn, that guy couldn’t even wait two months. get you out? I have no words. I don’t play a play shit. Wow. Yeah, I’m

Calvin Tilokee 34:05
baffled boy. All right. This one is a doozy. My boss screamed and threatened to take the company iPad and bash me in the face for a minor error.

Mikko Miller 34:20
HR that screams HR compliance on that shit. Wow. Yeah. Yeah.

Steve 34:28
What’s the context? Yes, we gotta have these people get give us context around this. I mean, yeah, again that on its face is like, okay, but I mean, you know, I’ve told people in you know, in a joking fashion like, hey, let’s not, let’s not fuck around. Let’s kill it. You really want to kill something? Was it was this boss really going to smash you in the face with the iPad and if so, what did you do? Would you do that? Give him that much of a reaction. It’s crazy.

Calvin Tilokee 35:05
Yes, the victim shame. No, no, no.

Mikko Miller 35:13
Steve does pose a good point, though. What did you do to warrant such?

Steve 35:18
Anytime someone has such a strong visceral reaction? Aren’t you curious about what what led to that? Holy shit so and so got stabbed in the eye last night by his date? What the hell do you say to her? No. Not what, you

Calvin Tilokee 35:32
know what, this is the one that’s ultimately leading to my, to my big story. This one, I can kind of understand what this person is coming from. Because sometimes, it ain’t any one thing you really did. So yeah, I’ll tell you. So I had a GM one time that we had the I don’t know how to explain it really. He he was kind of like, I guess he viewed himself as a older brother type of situation to me, you know what I mean? We only two black people in the building. Right? So in my experience that goes one of two ways. It’s either we’re going to be best friends, and we look out for each other. Or it’s instant competition. And so I mean, y’all y’all seen it? Was it? There was one of the movies like not scary movie, but a movie like that? Where there was? No, not another teen movie? Yeah. Remember the scene where there was? There was like a house party. And what’s the guy’s name from save the last dance, the black Ivan say the last dance. He’s in the kitchen, pouring a drink making himself a drink. And then another another black guy walks in the kitchen. And he kind of just looks at him. He’s like, yo, oh, yo, my bad. He’s like, yeah, Brother, you know, I’m the token black guy, this party, like Oh, shit, my bad man. You just like dab and walk out. Like, that’s how it is.

That’s usually how I be. So you know, it’s funny, because at first, like on a personal level, at Initially, it was fine. Like we took sports. And anything like we would just chill. And I’m the kind of person especially because the company I worked with revenue management didn’t report to the GM, we reported to our VP of revenue. And that’s kind of different in the industry. Most of the time you report to write to the GM, everybody reports to GM. So they have this feeling of power and control over everyone, except us in the company I was with. So that always is a tricky situation. Right? So it’s one you’ve got to kind of navigate politically. And I did my best to do that. You know, it was he called the meeting. I was there. I try not to miss any of his meetings, you know, he tried to shit one time where I was like, Okay, I’m going to set a meeting for 11 o’clock. And then at 1058, I’m going to tell you, I need to move it. And then, you know, at 1230 I’m going to reschedule it. And then I came in, and he was like, Oh, well, thank you for being flexible. And I could tell he did this shit on purpose, you know, just to try to establish some sort of like power and control. I’m like, God, whatever, you know, but I played along with all that shit. Because I’m like, Listen, I get it. I’m not trying to make this more difficult than it needs to be. Anyway, I’m prefacing all this, because we get to the point where he tried to threaten me at one point. And I had signed us up for we’re dealing with hotwire at this time. Right? So I signed us up for this promo, and they were supposed to fax in reservations, right. And I signed us up maybe on like the Tuesday. And we didn’t get any faxes come through. So you know, whatever. Now, I will admit, I didn’t check the extranet. So you can go on the website to see if any reservations come through. I didn’t check it. Because this was a new, a new, a new system, a new process for us. I just dropped the ball on that. I’ll admit that, right. But by Friday, we check in there’s like 40 reservations that come in. And they were all for Saturday. And we would not want to be oversold by like 40 fucking rooms. I found no, I found this out on Thursday. And I was like, Oh, shit. I’m like, Okay, so now first, I’ve got to let everybody know. And then we’ve got to start figuring out how we can fix the situation. So I go up to the front office manager’s office, the GM is in there. And I’m telling them both. This is the situation. So set what’s happening. I’m getting upstairs to work on it. So I did that. I’m back in my office getting to work. I get downstairs. 10 minutes later, this motherfucker calls me into his office. And he’s like, did you know we were oversold on Saturday by 40 rooms? And in my head? I’m like, Yes. motherfuck I just told you this. I mean, like, how do you think you saw that before me? Like, what do you mean, you know, like, because I’m already in the mode of like, Yo, I gotta fix it like now I’m wasting time talking to you again about the same shit. So but I didn’t obviously didn’t react like that. I said, Yes. You know, we were just talking about this upstate I wasn’t paying attention. I said, Okay, fair enough. You know, because I guess he tuned out. He didn’t think I was talking him. Fine. Okay. And I’m like, commented down like, sure. All right, no problem. Well, this is what happened. And he’s like, wow, how come I was like, the faxes didn’t come through, they put in the wrong number or whatever. There’s nothing I can do about that. Some things, just things happen sometimes. No, they don’t. And I’m like, really. And I’m just sitting there, like, you know what, this is why people like you aren’t in my positions, because y’all freak it out. First of all, we got two days to fix this problem. Okay, let’s piss and moan and cry when it happens. Until then, let me do the work to get the ship fix and minimize it as much as possible. Instead of sitting here freaking out, you know, and this is what gets me with these, these kind of people, they want to walk around with big and bad, like, you’re the captain of the ship. But as soon as we spring a leak, you sit in a crime instead of grab a fucking bucket. Right? Do some. And when we sink, then you could blame me until then shut the fuck up and get to work or let me get to work and get on my way. Right? So I explained the whole situation to him, then he’s like, Oh, do you, you know, you can you put that in the email. And in my head, I’m like, for what I just told you. I’d like I have to get to work on this situation. I want to talk about it anymore. And I said, may I ask why? And then he looks at me said Because I said so.

And I said, Okay, and I just kind of like, I kind of did a little shrug. I said, Okay, it’s like, I’m not sure I appreciate the tone, but I’ll take care of it. And that’s not standing up. Before I could get out of my seat. This motherfucker flies around from his desk, from behind his desk, stands over me and does he was pretty nice. But six, four, he’s standing over me in screaming. He’s like, sit down, sit down, sit down. I’m like, I just stopped. I didn’t even look at him. Because I knew if I looked at, it’ll probably hit him in the face. So I didn’t even look up and he’s like, haven’t sit out, sit out. And I was like, I started to I was like, I’m bowing to and he kept screaming. I was like, You know what, not not like this. And I just walked out of the room. And before I could walk out, he’s like, yeah, sitting here talking to me about tone. like as if we are on the streets. You know what I mean? In this, this is what I’m talking about, like completely unprofessional. You want to sit here acting like you’re some big dog, right? You had a big bad GM. But the minute a little bit of stress came about, you all lose in your shit. And the reason you lost this shit, he felt threatened by me. And again, I was you know, can’t be more than one token black guy in the in the hotel, I guess. And I took a lot of his shine. I am afraid to say it. I’m a popular person. I get along with people. People like being around me because I’m not a dick. Alright, so you know, I talk to people in the front and the front desk, the housekeepers anybody in the building. I was chill with people didn’t like him. Because as a GM, so people ain’t going to get too friendly with you. Number one, so you just got to deal with that. But number two, he wasn’t to be trusted. He was a liar. And people caught him in a lot of lies, you know. So if you act like that, don’t be mad that people don’t gravitate towards you, and they gravitate towards me. But that’s where a lot of that anger came from. And when I kind of got over all that, actually, because I am often going to let people yell at me. I’m gonna tell you that shit right now. He is lucky that should happen in a workplace. Because I would have found a two by four and there’s some WWE shit on that motherfucker.

Mikko Miller 43:34
upside the head with an iPad. Exactly.

Calvin Tilokee 43:41
Exactly. Copy update, bitch. Ah, yeah. But that’s a very long winded answer to your comments, Steve about where does the ship come from? Sometimes it ain’t nothing you actually did. Right? You know, it’s just you don’t stroke their ego enough. And quite frankly, I’m not that person. I’ve never had been. I’m never going to be I’m not an ass kisser. I am not. I could have very easily probably had a better relationship. If I would like kowtow to him. Like a lot of other people did and whatever. he bragged about yelling at people. You heard him in his office yelling at his boss, his boss. He’d be yelling. He told me once in a meeting that you know, he made the director finance cry. I’m like, What is this the brag about my father? like is this high school? That’s nothing to brag. Like you’re a real witch.

Yeah, this What about that says leadership like I mean, come on. Like, does not know about that. That’s That’s cool. And I guess because I didn’t fall in line like that. That’s why you had a problem, but I ain’t that dude. You ain’t gonna be sitting there yelling at me, bro. Like, there’s no difference between me and you is just a title. I could easily do that job. You could probably easily do mind no difference. I don’t need to be here all you know different to you ain’t gonna be yelling at me. So, I appreciate y’all let me get up. Get that off my chest. I’ve been wanting to do it for years. Yeah, man. So we got a couple of funny ones to end up before we move into the segments. Boss tried to fire me for flirting with a co worker she was sleeping with, but got fired herself.

Steve 45:21
Oh my god. Love it. State again.

Calvin Tilokee 45:28
A boss tried to fire me for flirting with a co worker that she was sleeping with. But she got fired herself.

Steve 45:37
How does your boss try to fire you? It’s like, hey, you’re kind of fired.

Calvin Tilokee 45:43
I went to HR realize you have a case. Wow. I want to find out for what?

Steve 45:53
My slide deck? I don’t know. I don’t like that.

Calvin Tilokee 45:57
Like, like every time Michael Scott tried to get rid of Toby like he have a reason just like the muffin.

Oh, boy. Alright. And last one. I had a Director of Sales fall asleep on the way to meet a client and then rip some tear inducing gas in the car.

Steve 46:20
Oh my god. This is a higher up. Who did this?

Calvin Tilokee 46:25
Yeah. Director of Sales. I’m assuming that person who attended in was was their sales managers something

Steve 46:31
that person would never live that down. Boss or boss. They would never live that down.

Calvin Tilokee 46:38
years ago.

Steve 46:42
You know, I’m thinking of taking you know, a long weekend. Remember that? He ripped in my car? Yeah.

Calvin Tilokee 47:04
Go check out Eddie Murphy delirious if you don’t know what I’m talking about.

Steve 47:18
I was trying to think of the

Calvin Tilokee 47:36
Oh, man. All right. Well, we like that. That was a good mailbag episode. Hopefully we do more of these in the future. That was fun.

Steve 47:44
Real quick. I’d love to know some follow up from this. So if anyone who’s listening, if you sent these questions in, I would love some more. Follow up some more context.

Mikko Miller 47:53
x story, please. Yeah.

Steve 47:56
What’s the fallout? So good stories? All of them were good stories.

Calvin Tilokee 48:02
No, no. I’m still giggling Oh, yeah. Joe got stuck.

Oh, boy. All right. But now it’s time for

Steve 48:20
All right. All right, Calvin, you are in the hot seat, my friend.

Calvin Tilokee 48:24
Yeah, let’s do this thing.

Steve 48:26
talking a lot about hotels tonight. So this is a quiz for you. About a hotel. And the hotel in question is going to be the Bellagio in Las Vegas.

Calvin Tilokee 48:39
Okay.Well, now favorites.

Steve 48:42
I’m going to give you a real quick question. The Bellagio has 3950 rooms in the hotel. Is that more or less than that total headcount of the Lake Como village, which is named for?

Calvin Tilokee 49:02
This is more?

Steve 49:04
That’s correct.

Mikko Miller 49:06
Dang,

Steve 49:07
well, that is correct. More rooms at the Bellagio in Las Vegas than there are in the village in Italy after which it’s named for.

Calvin Tilokee 49:15
Y’all not gonna tell me I’m a smart motherfucker. That’s how it works.

Steve 49:18
Smart motherfucker.

Mikko Miller 49:25
Got the big brains. Right,

Calvin Tilokee 49:31
sir. All right. All right.

Steve 49:32
There you go, man. Nice. Good Anya.

Calvin Tilokee 49:35
Yeah, I gotta go back to that episode. I don’t know what our record is. We got to start. We got to start keeping track of this. But I think that’s my first one. So

Steve 49:43
very nice. Got some way to go.

Calvin Tilokee 49:46
Right. Now it’s time for

Mikko Miller 49:52
I wonder if I should just keep the same one. I think I will.

Calvin Tilokee 49:56
Yeah.

Mikko Miller 49:58
Tyron Matthew, the gods. To talk trash to Tom Brady while they were down double digits in the Super Bowl again. Tom Brady’s the goat greatest of all time, he wasn’t even breaking a sweat when he went up double digits and now you want to talk trash and really wake his ass up, man. He wasn’t even trying and you guys were down double digits. And look what happened. Y’all fucking lost. There you go.

Calvin Tilokee 50:22
So long listen. motherfuckers he talks to Brady and did not live to tell the tale so I don’t want to stand what guys keep doing it, man. Just Why? He needs no help. To bus you guys. He was busting your ass when he started talking shit.

Mikko Miller 50:41
Right.

Calvin Tilokee 50:42
I was wrong with these dudes, bro.

Steve 50:45
So recently, young lady was in the news, because she put Gorilla Glue in her hair because she was she needed to keep that meta down. We’re not going to get into that. All right, that was a mistake. But now there’s apparently a Gorilla Glue challenge. Why does everything have to be a challenge? So apparently some guy down in the south went to the ER over this. I think at some point, it’s just population control. Yeah, it really is Darwinism at its finest. Let me tell you for everybody out there. In case there’s any ambiguity about the subject. Don’t put fucking glue in your hair of any kind. Just leave it alone. Glue stuff together. Don’t bluegrass cheeks together. Don’t glue anything to your head. Don’t be an asshole out there. These people are the reason why it says this coffee is hot on the lid.

Mikko Miller 51:40
Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Steve 51:43
It says mouse traps are dangerous. It’s for these people. Stop that nonsense. four year old has better sense than to do that. She’s for

Calvin Tilokee 51:55
fucking everything’s a challenge. I mean, I think life is a challenge for these motherfuckers. So yeah, might want to just concentrate on breathing today.

Steve 52:02
Try to get out of bed challenge. Try to wear an underwear with no stains challenge. Let’s start. Let’s start. No.

Calvin Tilokee 52:08
Gotta get it. I got to get one.

Steve 52:18
Jesus. Oh, not everything. Not every idiotic thing that you see out there has to be a challenge. So I don’t like that jerk. Anybody who’s involved in these dumb challenges? Yeah, especially the Gorilla Glue one.

Calvin Tilokee 52:31
Oh, man. All right. So my jerk this week is not a not a specific jerk. But we all know to jerk. The jerk who pulls up in Amazon a FedEx a UPS truck right in front of your house and got his shitty music blasting. I was on my old man shit today, right? I really lived up to the mid life part of this of this podcast. I’m sitting in my room. I got my you know, my desk. I’m working. And I saw the use of this like shitty salsa but chocolate whatever the fuck is I’m like, Nah, that’s enough. And I it’s almost every day when these trucks pull up is like they playing the music super loud. So I’m like, Nah, number one. I got a conference call in like 20 minutes. Number two. I’m sick of this bullshit. So I went for Larry David. I like I put on my mask. I went downstairs. And I’m looking for him in the lobby wasn’t in the lobby. Ask the concierge What’s up? He’s like, Yeah, what he’s leaving now. Like, okay, cool. So I’m chatting with the concierge for like, two minutes. This motherfucker Sterling gone. So I go outside. In my flip flops and and sweats. Like, I didn’t have a jacket. Nothing. I just went out. Again, straight. Oh, man. Shit. All it’s missing was a rope. So I go out. I look and look inside the truck. He’s not sitting there. He’s probably in the back. So I had to step up in the truck. So I get inside the fucking FedEx truck. And I’m like knocking. I’m knocking on the door. He can’t hear me. That’s how loud this goddamn music is. And I’m like, hey, and then he looks over at this guy’s like two feet from me. Right? And he just looks at me, like shocked. Obviously. He’s like, Who the fuck is this guy in my truck? And I’m like, Hey, can you turn this down a little bit. And then he looked at he got the nerve to look at me with an attitude. And then and then like, shut it all the way off. Like what attitude? I was like this.

Steve 54:20
Damn.

Calvin Tilokee 54:21
What? Like, I just turned around and left but I’m like, do you got the nerve to get an attitude? This is a fucking residential building though. Like, I don’t care what you plan. It could be the best music on Earth. I don’t want to fucking hear it.Shit.

Mikko Miller 54:36
That’s a middle life. shit right there.

Calvin Tilokee 54:42
Yeah, that was I had enough man. I was straight. Oh man shit. You know, but we don’t like that jerk. But you know who we do like the person from instacart when they show up with my fresh groceries in as little as one and as little as one hour. You could have that parsley. delivered to you that you forgot to pick up and replace the cilantro that you did pick up. You get unlimited delivery and handpick items based on your preferences. Start your 14 day free trial, hit the link in the show notes. let instacart know that we sent you and help support the show.

Steve 55:20
I love that stuff. instacart is a lifesaver. Yeah, huge, huge lifesaver.

Calvin Tilokee 55:28
I’ve been to a grocery store in months. Yeah, we they bring it, bring it right to your house. I got a phone call. I go downstairs, I pick it up. I’m done.

Steve 55:39
I gotta ask this quick question with all the stuff that you can get delivered to your house since COVID started. What’s the longest that you’ve never left your house for? Probably like three days for me. My records five days. And I felt like Howard Hughes when I come out.

Calvin Tilokee 56:02
Oh, man.

Mikko Miller 56:03
Yeah, I go out every day. I can’t I can’t answer that question. I go out every day because I work every day for the most part. So

Calvin Tilokee 56:09
yeah, now we usually go out at least for a walk us out. And but I think the most had been like three days and then it kind of like Yo, we just gotta get some fresh air. Let’s get out the house.

Mikko Miller 56:19
sunlight. Vitamin D.

Calvin Tilokee 56:21
Yeah, man. Yeah, man. All right, now it’s time for everybody’s favorite segment.

Mikko Miller 56:31
People who pull down their mask to sneeze during COVID times. The fuck is wrong with you people. The whole purpose of wearing a mask is to protect yourself and others from your fucking diseased sneezes. Keep all that Ronis shit to yourself, please. I’m not trying to catch your germs all up in my eyeballs. Keep the mask on. I don’t care if you got to sneeze. If you got to blow chunks. I don’t care if you blow snout on the other side of that mask. Keep it in there. I don’t need to see it. I don’t need it in my eyes. Keep the Rhondda to yourself get off my lawn with that shit.

Calvin Tilokee 57:10
There must have been like oh Mikko got the vaccine. He could

Mikko Miller 57:17
have people that literally sit with a mask on all day and then to blow sneeze not even look away. Just take it off to blow it all over the place and put the mask back on. Like what the fine you fail to realize what the mask is for the masses and I work in healthcare. I work in health care.

Calvin Tilokee 57:36
And you know what if we got to cut it out, cut it out. But that’s like, it’s like taking a condom off. Finish it and then putting it back on.

Mikko Miller 57:42
Yes. What’s the point?

Calvin Tilokee 58:10
stay safe!

Steve 58:27
mine’s just about people not show.

ledger sidewalk. I know it’s gonna fucking snow. You don’t want to shovel for some salt that I had a head of time. That’s it? Because it’s just gonna turn iced. At some assholes just gonna slip on it. It’s probably gonna be me. Get off my lawn with that. Lazy homeownership.

Calvin Tilokee 58:55
Exactly. Exactly. Respect for your neighbors. Yeah. Oh, man. All right, I’m gonna get into this my get off my lawn is a little controversial. But y’all know me. Y’all know me. And it’s gonna be it’s a little bit of a PSA to about the show, because I’ve covered a lot of things I’ve come clear to me over this week. So during the Superbowl, I saw somebody share a tweet saying that a Trump loving quarterback versus a racist team is the most American thing ever. And I was like, what’s racist about the Chiefs? Like, chiefs were the leaders of Native American tribes, that term in and of itself, and that position is not racist. Right now, we had this conversation with a guest and upcoming episodes, you guys will probably hear that. But you know, they brought up the point of the history of this country and how we treated Native Americans and all that stuff, which I’m not debating and if you guys listened to one of our past that episodes, you’ll hear us talk about that. And obviously, that’s the thing, but people bring a lot of shit into the situation. People bring a lot of external things into a name. It’s just a name. And I’ve actually done the research. It turns out, the team was never named after the Native Americans. It was named after the mayor of Dallas, because this team, Lamar Hunt had his team in Dallas, and then moved in. And the mayor of Dallas, they used to call him the chief. So he named his team, the Chiefs when he moved out, that’s a guess a kind of a, you know, well, we’d leave in your city, but hey, we are Navy team after you a piece of it. Over the years, they have started to take on the symbolism of Native Americans with arrowheads, and they do the tomahawk chop and all that stuff. And after looking at that, I realized that some Native Americans do have an issue with the caricature and the headdresses and all that. So if they got an issue with it, then I got an issue with it. And I get that, but as far as a lot, you know, people want to get upset about that. And I also saw something since then, there was there’s a Chinese woman who has an Instagram page. She was born in China lived there until she was three and move to this country. She asked the question, she’s a sticker the same way I did to get all these questions for our mailbag today. And she says, asked me anything. So someone asked her, is her husband as fluent in her native tongue as she is? Okay, before I continue, do you guys see that as a problem?

Steve 1:01:34
Yeah.

Calvin Tilokee 1:01:36
Okay.

Steve 1:01:36
You’re asking if we see the problem in the person just assuming that this woman speaks Chinese?

Calvin Tilokee 1:01:41
Yeah, I guess so.

Steve 1:01:43
Yeah, you shouldn’t assume anything. I mean, I’d say there’s a problem in and of itself.

Mikko Miller 1:01:49
I don’t.

Calvin Tilokee 1:01:50
You don’t? Okay. No. Well, I don’t either. I don’t I don’t see the problem. I see. Steve, I see your point. Don’t get me wrong. Yeah, I think I certainly see the point. But the point I’m getting to is, don’t choose to be offended by everything, right, like, every person. And that’s, that’s the ultimate point here is that you can tell when somebody is saying something to be offensive. And, and not. And that person made an assumption, right? I had a funny story that it reminded me of I was, before I went to work, I went to the gym in the morning. And as in most places around where I live, I’m the only person of color in the building. Right? It’s fucking seven o’clock in the morning. Most people are half asleep. But they slept. They’re playing little Wayne, right? And this just one white guy he got I guess it was a real morning person. He’s dancing and everything. And people look at him like, yo, how the fuck are you doing this? He’s like, oh, man, you know, this is little Wayne. Now he looks at me. He’s like, this guy knows what I’m talking about. Right? You see, in my head, I laugh, but I’m like, I never I never even heard this song. Like, what the fuck? I don’t know this shit. Now, I could have chose to be offended about that, because he made a lot of assumptions about me. Oh, he’s black. He must have listened to hip hop. He knows this. Like, those things happen to be true. But I didn’t know this song. Right. And I don’t choose to be offended by that. But I shared that story later at lunch that same day at work. And a white lady says to me, well, you’re the whitest black guy I’ve ever met.

Steve 1:03:24
Oh, come on. Oh,

Calvin Tilokee 1:03:26
that’s offensive. That is offensive. This shit. Yes. Right. So y’all see the difference? So my goal for this show and the reason we’ve done like to ask a queer dude, and we’ve talked about workplace issues with women and Black Lives Matter. My goal is to open up the space for conversation. I realized that this week, which is why I keep talking about these things, and a lot of my get off my lawns, and my rants are about people shutting down. Because you know what, as opposed to this woman, what this woman did to that comment was, she has like 40,000 followers on Instagram. And she put it up on her story and said, See, this is an example of micro aggression and dadadada da, and it was like, you need to do that. Because you know what? I think most people could read that question for what it was somebody trying to understand. Okay, yeah, they made an assumption, right. But I don’t it wasn’t done in a derogatory manner wasn’t done in a manner to upset it would they were seeking to understand and plus you said asked me asked me a question. They did. And as opposed to getting offended by that, because now you put this person on blast, you think the next time they want to ask a question. You have somebody that’s outside of their race, they’re not going to feel comfortable doing that, because they just got bitch smacked for asking a simple question. And this is why I especially did the show with Louis a couple of weeks ago because a lot of people would be afraid to ask a gay dude about his life about him doing drag and then we come to find out he’s he identifies as queer now, I didn’t really know what to do. difference was we do now? Right? So that’s where I think society has gone too far the other direction where everybody wants to be offended, everybody wants to call you out. Everybody wants to be so woke, that they know better than you. If you say something as something, we got to stop with that shit. And you’re going to hear me keep bringing these up because I’m trying to get us back to a point and do my little part to open up conversations. And the last thing I’ll say to it is there was a quote that I always remember from Gary Owen, and comedian you guys know him from like, Think Like a Man. Yeah, he’s funny as shit love Gary Owen but he tweeted once a couple years ago, I never forgot it. He said it’s hard to offend happy people. Yeah, true. So true. You find yourself being offended by memes simple questions about your heritage, or somebody assuming that you like rap music. It may be about you, you might be unhappy about a lot of other shit. It may not be that question, because I’ve been through it. I’ve had people assume I was obviously a little Wayne fan. I don’t even like Lil Wayne. You know, I’ve had people. I have people assume I’m, I’m Spanish. Everybody thinks I’m Dominican. People walk right up to me. So I speak in Spanish. And I’m like, huh? And then they get offended that I’m not speaking Spanish to them because they think I’m uppity. You know.

I’ve been called a white black guy, because apparently, black people can only act one way apparently, we all gotta like hip hop. We all got your saggy pants, and you know, have a rap sheet. You know what I mean? I’ve dealt with all that shit throughout my life. And I don’t get offended by 90% of the shit I see people get offended about like, yeah, take stock. Listen, give people a break. Let’s Let’s stop shutting everybody down. Let’s stop trying to out people and be so woke that we that we know everything we know better and you don’t and stop. Let’s just get back to talking. Which is why I like doing this show is why I keep bringing up the things that we that we bring up because this is going to be a spot where it’s safe to ask questions without being offended. Yay. Outstanding. I also like to announce that running for president in 2024. You

Mikko Miller 1:07:19
know, just piggyback off of what you were saying. And this is everyone that ever sees me in real life in person. People always assume that I smoke weed based on how I dress and how I look. It’s the most offensive shit because I don’t I don’t smoke weed. I don’t smoke. I don’t drink. But when people look at me, they’re like, hey, yeah, you smoke weed, right? Yeah. Can I get a pack coffee or you want to buy some rock? Bro. Hold on.

Calvin Tilokee 1:07:46
They don’t just assume that you smoke. They assume that you’ve got something to sell.

Mikko Miller 1:07:49
Exactly. I sell it. I smoke it. Ideally, it’s like What a fuck, man. I’m like the most professional fucking person. And I get dragged in with a bunch of low lifes. No offense to you.

Keep the hustle alive. But damn, I don’t even do that shit. And people always swear. When I go to Vegas. People always assume I got the shit. Right. I don’t. I don’t smoke it. I don’t sell it. Nothing, dude. I’m dry. I

swear to God.

Calvin Tilokee 1:08:31
I love it. I love it. I love it. Cool. Cool. All right, now it’s time for the Chris Rock quote of the week. Mine is because talking about buying a home. You know, we’re in that process. And this is when he was talking about what that’s like for a man. Like a wife is a bad motherfucker boy, because a wife has convinced her husband that it’s his house too. There’s a lot of guys in here right now. Think they own a house. They think is their house to know. She took that house years ago. Fellas, you don’t own a house. If you live with a woman. You don’t own a house. Only a man who single owns a house. Here’s the test. Go home and try. I want you to try and put up a picture of your mother. It’s your house right? Give it a shot. You will never see that picture again. Oh, I like this frame.

Mikko Miller 1:09:29
Don’t do it. Don’t do it.

Calvin Tilokee 1:09:33
She might break it out at your mom’s funeral. Oh look what I found.

Mikko Miller 1:09:40
Love is a funny thing. Rose Love is a funny thing. piggybacking off of that, talking about love and marriage and relationships. If you haven’t thought about buying a shovel in a bag and rolling harass up in it, you ain’t been in love. If you haven’t practiced your alibi in front of Mirror. You ain’t been in love. And the only thing that stops you from killing that motherfucker was an episode of CSI. Oh man, they thorough I better makeup. They might catch my ass.

Calvin Tilokee 1:10:19
Excellent. All right, shout out of the week comes in from Alex to Xs Castro. And I quote, hilarious, very entertaining, funny and informative podcast. I tuned in to hit the white chicks episode and was very surprised at how it ended up feeling like I was part of their friend group. great group of guys and I love to segment at the end. Get off my lawn. I love this whole concept. Thank you. Thank you, Alex. Alex, thank

Steve 1:10:46
you very much, man.

Calvin Tilokee 1:10:48
Yeah, we’re sending that love back to you. And you will be entered to win a free midlife crisis Tumbler. The winner will be announced in February’s newsletter, so please make sure you are subscribed. Thank you for the love. And outro time this is Calvin. As always, you can find me on Instagram at Revparblems travels growth media, or Revparblems calm

Mikko Miller 1:11:14
and this is Mikko to Filipino. You can catch me on Instagram at Mikko underscore eats.

Hey everybody, this is Steve you can hear me every week on the midlife crisis podcast with Cal and Mikko

Calvin Tilokee 1:11:27
All righty, thank you for joining us on another episode of midlife crisis podcast. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please leave us a review on iTunes and you may get the next shout out. Also, be sure to tell a friend and you think you’re a real fan. Well now you can prove it and support the pod on Patreon. We have big plans to bring you more exclusive content videos, live shows behind the scenes footage of Steve dancing, but we need your support. Hit the link in the show notes or that Instagram bio. Show us some financial love and become a VIP member of midlife crisis podcast. See what we’re up to in between episodes on Instagram at midlife crisis podcast and twitter at midlife pod show notes for this and all episodes are available on midlife crisis podcast.com where you can also sign up for the mailing list, drop us a note. Let us know what topics you’d like us to discuss. Thanks for tuning in, and we’ll catch you in the next one.

Steve 1:12:22
Let’s go

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