Calvin Tilokee 0:02
Hello and welcome to the midlife crisis podcast. I’m your host Calvin, also known as Revparblems on Instagram. I’m excited to do this talk show with my best friends from high school and college. Steve and Mikko, what can you expect on this podcast? Well, I like to call it a talk show for Men of a Certain Age. We’re not quite old. But we’re the kind of guys that have to make sure we don’t miss our alcohol on a night out, you know, we’ll chat about current events, and the topics and things that we just need to get on our soapbox about knowing us. We’ll be laughing the whole time. And ladies, don’t worry if you ever wanted to know what your husband or boyfriend talks about in the man cave. Stick around. And keep in mind, we’re old enough to remember when Parental Advisory stickers went on CDs. We don’t know what CDs are. You’re too young for this podcast. Speaking of which, make sure you have your headphones in. It’s NSFW as these kids say. We’ll be bringing that flavor to your weekly on your way to work while you’re shaving. Or just sitting around wondering why your backyard but let’s get this show on the road. Hello and welcome to the midlife crisis podcast. I’m your host Calvin here was always my boy Steven Mikko, bringing that flavor to air on a weekly basis. On today’s episode, we’re gonna recap 2020 with no Rona, for Trump talk, so we got about 15 minutes of audio for y’all. We’re bringing you Chris Rock. I don’t like that jerk. I don’t know that shit. As always get off my lawn. But first I was the week. I love doing the intro now.
we havent even hit the 1 minute Mark
Mikko Miller 1:38
together, Steven, get it together.
It’s when he says I don’t know that shit. And I just had his face as he’s saying it.
The week was good solid week, took my daughter sled riding. First Year she’s not freaked out. She had a great time she was dying to go again and again and again. It was fantastic. Do some more home automation shit. And so I can turn my lights blue if I want to. or purple. My daughter goes nuts over that stuff. It entertains her a ton. And then it just allows me to be lazier. So I don’t have to get up and check if like the lights are on if the doors locked, I can just look at a screen or my phone and do that shit. So it’s been a good bit for that. And I’m on vacation now until the end of the year for the most part.
Calvin Tilokee 2:34
Mikko Miller 2:35
nice, jealous. Jealous of that, Steve.
So I’m in sales. All my sales are done now for the year. So I can just yeah, if someone calls up, talk to him or whatever, but I’m not usually in this position. So
Calvin Tilokee 2:51
yeah, no, that’s that’s good man. Wrap up the goals 10 days ago. Yeah.
Mikko Miller 2:57
That’s that’s good shit. I mean, fuck, I gotta continue to work to the use of
vaccine early though, don’t you?
Mikko Miller 3:05
I do. But it’s, you know, it’s looming. It’s next week. But again, there’s talks side effects. There’s talks of people getting even sicker sicker than the flu vaccine that you can you know when you get it so I know my wife doesn’t want to take it. I’m gonna take it so there’s that discussion going on in the household? And yes, I’d affect like I said I don’t want to grow a dick out of my forehead so
Calvin Tilokee 3:37
you guys ever seen Deuce Bigalow 2?
Mikko Miller 3:40
Calvin Tilokee 3:42
that’s what that reminds me of
Mikko Miller 3:47
that it’s for her but that’s not good for me. Nine you have snow.
The snow is nice during the holidays.
Mikko Miller 4:01
Yeah, listen glaze over that part that we were just trying.
Calvin Tilokee 4:08
It’s a good idea I was about to bring up total Recall. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Mikko Miller 4:20
That blew my mind when I first saw that I was. Three.
I think I was like, 1213 whatever. Fuck age. I was not like three titty well.
You wanna hear some Total Recall? I saw that with my parents. That three titty scene was uncomfortable.
Mikko Miller 4:53
Oh, my God.
Calvin Tilokee 4:56
Yeah. Is that Is it the most uncomfortable movie you’ve ever watched. Under the most uncomfortable was howard stern movie. Oh shit. Yeah.
And then, so if I had to rank them I would say the Howard Stern movie, The Bourne movie, and then took the call. All three of which I saw in the theater with my parents. Nice. Oh, wow.
Calvin Tilokee 5:21
Oh, wow. You
Mikko Miller 5:24
know got grab me go bed. That’s it. Mine was Porky’s. Boom. Yeah, yeah, that’s raunchy. You know, it’s
Unknown Speaker 5:33
Mikko Miller 5:33
I think they’re like high school kids. And that’s where I first learned about glory holes. That glory holes in the bathroom, right? Yes.
That’s the shower. Yes. And
Mikko Miller 5:49
then you watch that with your parents. How crazy was that?
Calvin Tilokee 5:52
How easy was that? That’s kind of crazy. So my aren’t that bad. Don’t movies. I remember watching where my parents like maybe cover my eyes and shit was dirty dancing.
Unknown Speaker 6:05
Calvin Tilokee 6:06
Mikko Miller 6:07
Calvin Tilokee 6:09
they would they were trying to be good parents because you know, they grinded on each other man. Glory knows. Exactly. That’s what I’m saying. Mine wasn’t that bad. But y’all reminded me of a funny story. Where my dad and my uncle took me my brother out to the movies to watch booty call.
And then, that was perfect. Right. So that but the kicker was on the way out. We see a teacher from our school. Steve, you know who he is? Who? He? Oh, no, he is not. It wasn’t.
Oh, before I tell you who it is. The other day, we saw the same teacher once, right. So my dad and I went to a strip club down in Mount Vernon. I’m getting off of work. I’m about to go home. He’s like, Yo, what you’re doing tonight? And I’m like, I’m going home. And this is what I’m live. So I’m still living at home. is I go went to once you meet us as soon as I get let’s go to this crazy like, he’s always boys. So we go go to Sue’s and then we see the same teacher in suits in the strip club. Damn. My dad. Why last? He’s gonna say he’s screaming. yo teach! Me?
No know is 100% facts.
Oh my god.
Calvin Tilokee 7:48
I didn’t even embellish that story at all. That was 100% I would happen. Unbelievable. screaming at this dude from across the strip club.
Oh, I’m gonna tell you the name after.
Does it start with the D?
Calvin Tilokee 8:07
No, I just dropped it in halfway.
What the fuck is that?
Calvin Tilokee 8:11
Oh, you don’t remember he was he was the other. Donovan.
Uh, okay. I didn’t really you know, I barely knew Donovan.
Calvin Tilokee 8:22
Okay, yeah. But he was the other guy like him. He had he used to do like detention. He also coached a couple teams.
I remember him. Yeah, yeah. You know, I remember. Again, that that tracks?
Mikko Miller 8:34
I think thought around cron.
guy, he was cool. He was he was Mikko. I know we’re getting a bit off topic here. But Mikko, this teacher, he was like a student teacher. He was a student teacher. He was this like, from the West Indies. And he was a little feminine. But he was just like this, like, you know, whatever. He didn’t care about anything. He barely cared about us. And I ended up working with him. He was a cashier at the staples in our town where I was and I was a cashier also, so I got to know him on another level. And he was just this chill guy who just didn’t give a shit. Really about much. And he was just floating through life. Like I remember when we went out we kind of Wall Street on some field trip. And he’s like, Alright, boys, go ahead and go look, Larissa looks. She walked like this way. The best looking girl in class. He was like, You guys just go stare at her ass and you know, I don’t give a shit go get hit by a car. That was
Calvin Tilokee 9:46
you know who he was like Mikko one of the Indian dudes and 40 old virgin?
Yes. Oh my god. Calvin that’s perfect. Perfect.
Calvin Tilokee 9:54
So not not not mus the tall one. Yeah.
He’s actually in jail for life for killing his wife.
Calvin Tilokee 10:03
I know, but I’m often crazy. He’s crazy. I wouldn’t be surprised if runc around was right next to him.
He set fire to a bunch of kids. It’d be something.
Calvin Tilokee 10:16
Yeah. Oh, man. Well, yo, we wait if you make this first 10 minutes, God bless you a real fan. Yeah, real thing. Are you gonna jump right into the topic? We’ll jump right into the topic. Like I said, we wanted to recap 2020 but when you look back and think about it, it was all depressing shit, right. It’s old Trump and Rona and all that stuff. So we tried to handpick a few topics that happened this year that we even forgot about that a little more lighthearted. And we kind of can, you know, do our thing with so the first one is, if you guys may recall, Prince Harry and Megan Markel, leaving the royal family. So this happened, I think, either back in January, February, they voluntarily left the family. So what do you guys think about a guy in his 30s finally leaving the nest.
Mikko Miller 11:12
So it was voluntary. It wasn’t like Megan did something blackish that the Queen didn’t like?
Calvin Tilokee 11:22
No, mega. We don’t stir fried chicken. No, I mean, there have been rumors about how she’s been treated, which I feel there is some truth to it. But I mean, nobody can substantiate anything like that. So we’re a family we’re talking about, I mean, nobody’s gonna come out and say that or even know that for sure. But I know in the media, at least, she’s been pretty vilified over there, like they never took to her. The royal family is very conservative. Right? That’s right. Basically what they one of the oldest institutions we have. So I would think it probably wasn’t a comfortable ride. I’ll leave it at that.
When you look back at what that kid’s life has been like, he lost his mom because she was a royal or not because she was a royal but because she was hounded by the paparazzi. Right? His dad clearly had like a very public messy thing, you know, divorce and remarriage. And then there’s all those rumors about him being the son of the chauffeur, you know, him Marian and Megan Markel, who is, yeah, him marry Megan Markel, who, you know, black woman, American. He’s just saying fuck it and going off on his own. No, yeah. More power to him. You know, cuz he was the second one anyway. You know?
Mikko Miller 12:40
Calvin Tilokee 12:41
he was. Yeah, he’s never gonna get that throne.
Why have to put up with all the bullshit and the pomp and circumstance when it’s not really done a mini? I’m not going to go so far as to say it’s not done any good. I mean, he’s certainly benefited. But should if he’s found true love and ready to give it up and whatever, more power to him.
Calvin Tilokee 12:57
Yeah. Yeah, I agree. Yeah,
Mikko Miller 12:59
I agree. I agree with that. I’m just not convinced that it was like, a amicable breakup. You know, I’m just not picturing Harry being like, Oh, hey, I’m just gonna go take off now. I think something that happened, because one, why would you leave? But I mean, if what Steve was saying has any kind of, like, fit adds on to anything. It’s just, maybe this is the next step for him? Because he’s not going to get the title. Right. Because that’s gonna go to William. Yeah. It’s William. Right. Williams gonna get it, William. Yeah. He’s just gonna be like the second or whatever, unless something happens to William. So maybe you’re right. Maybe he’s just coming to Canada to just you know, start over start something new probably start a business of do something and make a name for himself. But I just can’t see somebody leaving, like the royal family for good. Just because they want to, like, start something of their own. Because I mean, he’s had it made, I think.
Calvin Tilokee 13:57
Yeah, no, it’s a tough thing. I mean, what I’d say is, it would certainly be his choice. Leaving the royal family is not an option. Right. So they don’t allow that. And the few people who have done it have been remembered throughout history. Do you guys watch the crown? You guys seen that shot started that yet? Oh, man, you should. Yeah. When you watch it, you get a whole new appreciation for it. I mean, obviously, it’s a show so is this dramatize? But they basically dramatize a lot of the different major events that have happened throughout history with the Queen and the family in general. And forgive me, I’m not that up my history. So I forget which one it is. But there was a guy who was said to be king, years ago before King George, which is the father of the current Queen, right. So her uncle was in line for the throne. He gave it up, he renounced the throne because he wanted to be married to an American woman who was from Baltimore, and she was divorced. And that’s a shit you don’t do. Right.
Mikko Miller 14:57
Coming to America?
Calvin Tilokee 15:03
My throne, I renounce my Pro. I fucking did that on the aid train. Like I like it like, that’s it matter. No, you gotta go sign some paperwork man actually don’t count. But yeah, I mean, he’s a villain, you know, in their eyes. And he always has remained that because it brings disrepute to the whole institution of the royal family. And, you know, something like this, they’re not going to voluntarily let you leave, because it just shines a negative light on the royal family. So he certainly had to be really fed up with whatever was going on, probably just fed up with living that lifestyle, because as glamorous as it is, from, you know, a monetary perspective, and all these things, these people don’t live regular lives, you know, I mean, every single thing they do is scripted. And, you know, from time to children, it’s like, this is the way you go to school. And this is where you can marry. And he seems to have taken a page out of that same book, where it’s like, I want to marry somebody, because I love them not because you’re telling me to, and it’s going to be better for the family that took the family, you know, I’m putting the words in his mouth, obviously. But he certainly is a more modern Prince than he is like enough. I think it might be nice. Like, you know, I’m not willing to live my life like that. And especially her coming from being an American and an actress and living a more of a traditional life. And coming into it being willing to come into it. I’m sure she wasn’t received very well. I think maybe I think her color probably had something to do with it, just from the standpoint of her being the first one. And I’m sure the royal family was kind of like, Whoa, you know, like, Hey, you know, what’s up with that? You know, I personally wouldn’t go as far as to say racist, I’ve never seen or heard anything from them. But, you know, the institution being what it is, it’s not going to be something that’s going to be, you know, wildly accepted.
Do you guys know who Prince Philip is? So Prince Philip is Queen Elizabeth husband, and he says all kinds of shit. I’d venture to guess maybe he said something weird? Because he’s known for saying just oddball even racist. Yeah.
Mikko Miller 17:25
That’s what I was, like, if I had
Calvin Tilokee 17:28
probably, I certainly wouldn’t put that past them. Yeah, I mean, I wouldn’t put that past them. I don’t think based on what you’ve seen, I don’t think it would come from the queen. It probably would come from him. You know, if not, other people but I know if you just paid attention to like British media, they will fucking out or even even our media for some reason, which I think got really political. They would put side by side pictures of her and Prince William’s wife and say that, you know, how it’s, you know, like the class of the of the royal family has gone down and it’s like, they look exactly the same. And Prince William’s wife is a common are also she’s not she’s not from royal blood. So it’s like, right, why are we picking her out? And then it’s like, okay, now we know why. Yeah. But from what I heard, they’ve signed a deal with Netflix.
Did they really,
Calvin Tilokee 18:19
for my Google browsing to get get ready for this episode? I saw something like that. So they’re gonna be I don’t know. Maybe it’s like the document in their own lives or whatever. But I think it’d be really interesting to see some kind of behind the scenes. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That’s what really happened.
Mikko Miller 18:37
Yeah. You guys would watch that though.
Calvin Tilokee 18:40
Oh, yeah. Watch. I should. Listen, I’ve already admitted to watch a 90 day fiance and housewives. My standards are low. I watch
it. That’s not a high bar.
Calvin Tilokee 18:55
Exactly. I’d watch that.
Mikko Miller 18:58
Show with a guy with that thick neck. married to that Asian Filipino. Yes, yes. No, no,
Calvin Tilokee 19:03
I didn’t actually see that one. But yeah, he is on that show. Yeah. And also don’t forget last week, I said I was going to watch a recipe for seduction the KFC movie.
Mikko Miller 19:18
My day was going good.
Calvin Tilokee 19:21
So like if I haven’t seen it ain’t because I don’t think it’s good enough. It’s probably cuz I just didn’t know.
Mikko Miller 19:31
I swear to god Mario Lopez in that cut off T just pisses me off and I photo
Calvin Tilokee 19:39
keeping this spicy for you, man.
Does he have an accent?
Calvin Tilokee 19:43
In the movie? Yeah. Oh, it sounds like Maria Lopez. Sounds like Mario Lopez. Which is which might be worse. Might be worse considering he’s supposed to be Southern. And he just sounds like Mario Lopez.
Mikko Miller 20:02
Like, Oh, no, no, no, stop, stop, stop, stop. Yeah, just just just sonically may sound like,
Calvin Tilokee 20:06
exactly yeah, I’m pretty sure in the auditions he was trying to some Southern should la Yeah, you know what it’s just gonna be 15 minute movie. Don’t worry about it. Yeah.
He came in with the whole backstory he was all geeked out. You just shut it down. Shut up AC Slater. Just be the chicken man.
Calvin Tilokee 20:28
You know, I gotta give it to him though. I mean, he still looks like AC Slater. Like 30 Yeah, exactly.
He’s part of that whole Hollywood vampire elite with john with john Stamos and you know, fucking Becky.
Mikko Miller 20:43
They never fucking age.
Mikko Miller 20:46
Calvin Tilokee 20:48
You know exactly. Another bullet point, man. We all point with the segways. The intro is a little sketchy, but now getting back on track. So we had the aunt Becky college scandal this year, which, if those of you who don’t know, on Becky, I have not taken the time to Google her real name.
Calvin Tilokee 21:08
There we go. Boom. So she was part of this scandal of Hollywood celebrities paying for their children’s way into college. I let you guys take the floor on that one first.
I mean, you know, she was the one who got caught. It’s been going on forever. It’s been going on forever. And no one’s immune to it. Dr. Dre paid 75 million so his daughter can go to UCLA. You know, I think it’s it’s got to be a big reflection on the kids. Like, is my kids such a dipshit that I have to spend $500,000 I mean, 75 million. The dude wanted his name on a building or something. I get that, you know that that kind of longevity? nonetheless, right? But like 500 grand, you know, if she’s thinking herself my kids such a dipshit that there’s no way she can get this without spending that much money. It just it boggles my mind. You know?
Mikko Miller 22:06
The green Wi Fi I’m saying yes. to every question that you’re asking. Yes. Yes. My child’s a dipshit Yes, my child. Yes. Because the way they went about doing it too was through was it like a scholarship? Right like an athletic scholarship?
Calvin Tilokee 22:21
Yeah, so I just looked it up. So apparently, they were admitted to USC as rowing recruits. Yes. Even though neither participated in a sport and can’t swim. Exactly
Mikko Miller 22:31
that I mean,
Calvin Tilokee 22:32
that right. I just added that last part not so great. Mikko?
Mikko Miller 22:42
I mean, the way they went about doing it a rolling scholarship from your kids don’t grow nicely. Notice the mamas fault. That’s the mamas.
Calvin Tilokee 22:52
mamas bucket folk. Now they couldn’t study because a window light in the house that daddy’s
Mikko Miller 22:58
fine, Daddy’s That’s right. Why not just admit the kid that a school paid the whatever sum of money through some sort of scholarship and and do it the, like Steve said, no one’s gotten caught in years and years and years, probably generations of this. You know, how do you get caught? Like you guys fucked up somehow. Because I’m pretty sure people at Harvard that go to Harvard aren’t smart enough to be at Harvard, but because their dads are like, what they call
Calvin Tilokee 23:28
like a booster.
Mikko Miller 23:30
Yeah, yeah. You know, when your parents are putting that stuff in their names or in buildings and shit like that, you know, you get access to everything. Why did they do that? I guess Full House didn’t pair enough. Because she can only afford half a million dollars to send her daughter to school. And it was through a rowing program to a public school.
Calvin Tilokee 23:49
I mean, it’s us. Yeah, right.
Mikko Miller 23:52
Yeah, it is.
Calvin Tilokee 23:56
He could really go be fucking dumb.
Mikko Miller 23:58
What’s full plus fo? jello, jello.
Calvin Tilokee 24:05
No, you know what? I think what you said is right, is they just they went too far. I mean, when I first heard about this, I was like, I kind of shrug my shoulders. I’m like, I mean, how is this news? Rich people paying to get the kids into schools that they don’t deserve to be and how it was like I don’t fuck this is new. Yeah, that’s not new. But, but I think is like, they just they went too far. Like if you get your kids into a college on a rowing scholarship, and they don’t row Yeah, that’s gonna raise your flag. It’s like, come on, man.
The least you could do is fuckin row. or pretend like you’re rowing or learn how to swim. Shit or not exactly. Something you have a flying scholarship. You have to learn how to
Mikko Miller 24:46
go to my Chris Rock quoted a week right there.
Calvin Tilokee 24:53
It’s like, yeah, I mean, rowing. Okay, all due respect, right? I’m going to say that there’s things that are Easy, but simple, right? You know what I mean? Like, I’m not saying it’s I’m not saying it’s easy rowing, it’s fucking hard. That’s a lot of work. But the actual act of rowing is not difficult.
You’re sitting down the whole time, you’re sitting
Calvin Tilokee 25:15
down and you’re moving your arms back and forth. If your child can’t do that, by college age, you have a problem.
And they’ve done a shitty job as a parent.
Calvin Tilokee 25:25
Right? You got a real fucking problem. So, at least if you’re going to try to get him in on a scholarship, let them do that fake their way through tryouts. And then they get cut after the first year, whatever, you know, it doesn’t raise a flag, but I mean, they’ve never played sport, but again with a free ride to USC out of all places. Exactly. You know? Exactly. Yeah. And you know who else went to USC? OJ that’s a story for another episode. Rental the bus rapid murder. Oh, man. All right. So there were a couple other things. I’m gonna just let y’all know what we’re going to talk about. Now we’re gonna hit this last topic. So there was Harvey Weinstein. We touched on that a little bit. Tiger King, you know Tiger King was was epic television but only two or three of us have seen it. So we’re gonna go into other one which would like site a lot of the audience because every year people get excited for this. The MC rib is back. Fucking MC rib is back. Yes. So we’re gonna let our resident food expert lead us off on this one.
Mikko Miller 26:53
And how do we know that McRib is back because yes, ladies and gentlemen, there is an app that lets you know when it’s back in what cities it’s offered in and what certain restaurants because it’s not offered at every McDonald’s restaurant because for a long time I thought all McDonald’s were franchises and owned by corporations and whatever. And they all serve the same thing on the menu at the same time. False. You know, each individual McDonald’s franchise owner gets to decide if they want to go with the National menu that everyone’s offering or they want to not participate. So not all McDonald’s if you guys ever been to a bunch of McDonald’s is only offer certain things like the McRib, for example is offered at one McDonald’s but two or three McDonald’s in your area might not serve it. Which is kind of fucked up for us. Mc 11 folks
Calvin Tilokee 27:41
did not know to
Mikko Miller 27:43
you yeah, like shamrock shakes. They don’t serve them at a lot of macdon everywhere.
Calvin Tilokee 27:47
So Mikko before you continue to educate us and the audience on MC ribbon McDonald franchise ways, but you wonder these people who like gets the T shirt like I had to make rib in San Jose and then like, then you like drive around? Where they offer it and have each one?
Mikko Miller 28:06
That is a resounding fuck. No.
That’s the thing. Is it really?
Calvin Tilokee 28:13
Yeah. No, I’m sure that’s the thing. That’s that’s got to be a thing. Yeah, people
Mikko Miller 28:17
like certain regional regional merchandise that people collect. You know, it’s kind of like, rip challenge. Like those not Teletubbies, those little Thai? I don’t know, whatever those toys were. That was available like back in the 90s that people used to collect
Calvin Tilokee 28:40
care photos. trolls, those treasures, babies. Beanie Baby. Beanie Baby. Beanie Babies.
Mikko Miller 28:46
Yeah, Beanie Babies. You know, that’s like certain regions had certain ones and other regions had certain ones and in order for you to get to collection, you have to like fucking drive around the whole fucking country to get that shit. You know? And yeah, people did that people like you know, hey, look, I got this piece from you know, El Paso. Hey, I got this from San Francisco. Yeah, there’s Yeah. Like, I love McDonald’s, but not like that.
Calvin Tilokee 29:12
Yeah, like, you know, those people who go to like rollercoaster parks all over the country. Hmm. Yeah, I figured it’d be something like that.
Mikko Miller 29:20
Yeah. No, I’m not like that. Like, I love McDonald’s. You know, shout out to them. They were my first employer. Back when I was 15 Yeah, 15 years old in like five years. So shout out to them. They gave me my first work experience. Nice. Anyway, anyway, anyway. What’s up?
Calvin Tilokee 29:44
Now say they could probably put you in one of those, you know, promotional videos, right? Like,
Mikko Miller 29:49
oh, yeah, like Calvin.
Calvin Tilokee 29:54
Calvin started out of McDonald’s making fries. That’s now he works. A big pharmaceutical company and he’s gonna be the first one to get the COVID vaccine. That could be you.
Mikko Miller 30:08
name right, the black guy in the McDonald’s commercial.
Calvin Tilokee 30:10
Yeah, exactly. Yeah. That’s why they’re on the Chappelle show. That was his name. This is like, you know what? You ain’t gonna get no MC rib to make rip his back.You ain’t getting none. Just don’t even eat pork. Damn right. do any work cuz you ain’t getting none.
Mikko Miller 30:34
Shit. No, but I think the whole point that I wanted to bring up for the whole McRib thing was there was a big debate. recently heard on the radio about one of the top radio host guys here in Southern California was talking about how he used to be a big fan of the McRib. And then now he can’t stand it because he watched a YouTube video that exposed how a McRib was made. And totally gross them out to the point where now he’s not even a fan and he’s advocating for people not to make ribs anymore. Yeah,
Calvin Tilokee 31:08
I’m telling you what.
Mikko Miller 31:09
I mean. Does anyone really believe that a McRib is made out of a real pork product? Do you guys would you guys believe that?
No. I’ve never been so butthurt over fast food that I started advocating for something like, like that. Sounds a bit extreme. Because
Mikko Miller 31:27
Yeah, I were six of them because he loved him so much. But then now the fact that he’s like grossed out by even like thinking of how he was made that he’s just now. You know, just defiled. Basically, he’s no longer the same person.
Calvin Tilokee 31:45
Because apparently at some point, this motherfucker thought McDonald’s was real food.
Mikko Miller 31:49
Yeah, that’s right. Did you know so? For inquiring minds that want to know, it’s me.
Calvin Tilokee 31:55
No, sorry. I’m just gonna say it’s too bad. He doesn’t have he didn’t have a rich parents to send him to college. Because clearly he wasn’t getting in on his own.Be on a rowing machine at the gym. You’re trying to get a scholarship.
Mikko Miller 32:26
bonkers. Oh my god. So Contrary to popular belief, a McRib is made from pork butt, pork trimmings. So basically like the leftover parts, right. So that’s all mashed together goes into like this little grinder thing. And then they add additives dextrose, which is like a form of sugar to add, basically, like what methods they would use to make sausages from or out of, they would use that for this pork product, and then mold it into the shape of a rib. The original idea was to mold into a shape of a pork chop. But then the people in McDonald said now, pork chops in sandwiches don’t look right. But baby back ribs with a bun would look right. So that’s why they went with that concept. And so, or trimmings, all the other weird ingredients that go into, you know, keeping sausages together, it’s the same thing that they use for a McRib. And the idea was to kind of make it look as appealing as a pork rib style product versus a pork chop. So they went out on that, but they didn’t make enough money out of it. In the beginning. That’s why in the, I guess, early 80s mc ribs never like really appeared on the menu. And it wasn’t until recently was that 1994 the Fred Flintstone movie. And they kind of piggyback off of that, you know, the whole big rib, whatever, big meats have a thing they piggyback off of that. And that’s where it gained like popularity, which is kind of weird. Yeah, Flintstones movies. What created the whole buzz around? Here? I’m gonna ask you guys, why do you think the MC rib isn’t always available, aside from the fact that owners don’t want to put into menu because, you know, they get to pick and choose. But aside from that, why do you think they don’t have it on their menu?
Mikko Miller 34:25
Not the button. Actually. They’ve had the button with a sandwich before that was like a steak sandwich. And they just scrapped that idea, but kept that button. Oh, I’ve learned that too. Yeah, that’s kind of weird. No pork prices. So pork prices, oh, when they die rocket, they don’t make mcribs because they don’t make enough to keep the supply costs down. So that’s why MC ribs aren’t always in October. They’re not always in November. It’s when pork prices go down. The McDonald’s doubles up on MC rich and it’s McRib season. That’s why there’s an app that tells you because You know, when it’s like Thanksgiving, you know, it’s end of Thanksgiving. It’s in November. It’s a couple of weeks before Christmas we know when Thanksgiving is but we don’t know when McRib season is. But there’s apps now that tell you hey, it’s McRib season because pork prices are down. McDonald’s is gonna roll up and start bringing out the mcribs intellect various locations. Fun fact.
Calvin Tilokee 35:23
That’s great. I mean, you’re already using the leftover parts that nobody wants. And they wrote the pay for that.
Mikko Miller 35:32
Yeah, so you know, people that love the McRib, you know, there’s a cult following and a fascination for it. And I think you’re right. And then there’s people that drive around and kind of follow, you know, hey, you know, an hour away from us. And I think there’s a commercial. Pretty sure there’s a commercial where these people they were going to drive an hour from their hometown to another place just to get a McRib. The fuck is that? I love it, but I don’t love it that much. Now for Dr.
So then do you have enough McDonald’s near that have the
Mikko Miller 36:06
McRib? I have two that serve it. And I have two that does it. Okay, and I think the two dozen are independently owned. That’s why they just chose not to go with it. But the two that I have, I believe are part of the corporation. So whatever the national menu is, like they kind of like right off the national menu. So yes, Anaheim and Irvine West have it. Tustin, which is close to me in Irvine. South don’t have it because they’re all independently owned. And some of them will be surveyed up until like, nine o’clock. 10 o’clock. And then the other ones sort of it you know, all day like it’s just McDonald’s is weird, man. So there you go. Kids. MC rib.
cow, cow. What about you are? Are you a fan?
Calvin Tilokee 36:52
I haven’t had an MC rib probably since maybe college? Yeah, I don’t really eat fast food like that. The last time I had McDonald’s was this had to be maybe three or four years ago. And I was out at a party in the city. And I’m catching the last train back to Westchester from Grand Central. So this is like maybe like 2am. And I leave the party, which is like three blocks from Grand Central. And I’m walking. And y’all ever been at that stage of drunk where it’s like, You surprise you that drunk?
Mikko Miller 37:30
Yes, exactly. Yes.
Calvin Tilokee 37:35
I’m walking down the sidewalk. And I’m trying to walk straight and I realize I’m walking in an S and I caught myself. I’m like, Yo, I’m fucked up. So I was like, I hold up. So I’m like, I’m like, trying to gather my smash it here and I’m like, you know, not I gotta eat. I got it. So there’s a Shake Shack in Grand Central. So I start googling this thing. And realize it’s closer closer, like 11 like fuck, so nothing else. And there’s one last thing before you get to Grand Central I was open was Mickey D’s. And even at that state of drunk, I stood outside the door for like a minute. I was like, do I want to eat McDonald’s? Oh, no. I just know. It’s just madness. I just know my stomach gonna be fucked up after that. Oh, do I really want to eat Mickey D’s but I was drunk. And I was I was like, now you got to eat something? Because if you don’t, it’s just gonna be worse afterwards. So I reluctantly drunk went into Mickey D’s and got some food so I had like couple burgers and some nuggets. But unfortunately, it wasn’t mid rib season.
I’m just picturing a drunk Calvin with this disgusted look in his face himself as he’s eating these burgers like disgusting
Calvin Tilokee 38:54
Exactly. Hello, sir. What’s the McDonald’s? Give me a couple burgers or something man fuck shit. Whatever you got and it’s just those women in a bed.
Mikko Miller 39:06
You got ever watched that supersize me movie?
Calvin Tilokee 39:10
Mikko Miller 39:12
you know watching that movie made me like stop eating McDonald’s for like two hours
my wife was going through vegan stages back then and and she leans largely vegetarian but and we went to go watch that. I leaned over to her during the middle of the movie. And I mean I fucking McDonald’s because we were still dating back then. I went and got
Mikko Miller 39:42
there you go. There you go.
fucking get a quarter pounder.
Mikko Miller 39:47
You know gear me Fun fact Quarter Pounder is now made to order. Just to let you guys know Really? Yep, no more frozen no more. It’s made when you order it. That’s when they make it That’s when they cook it is the freshest thing you can order to McDonald’s right now.
Calvin Tilokee 40:04
Mikko Miller 40:06
Yeah, there you go. There you go.
Calvin Tilokee 40:10
About to get a McDonald’s sponsorship going
Mikko Miller 40:13
on right now.
Calvin Tilokee 40:15
You know, shit about the beatific demo and Travis Scott Mikko?
Mikko Miller 40:21
Yeah, fuck that j balvin meal with that shit.
Calvin Tilokee 40:24
Yo Yo, Mikko you gotta do you gotta do it. So once we get our McDonald’s meal, the midlife crisis, McDonald’s meal, what’s gonna be on it?
Mikko Miller 40:33
Yeah. Oh, okay, see? Travis Scott and all them. They didn’t really do anything with their collaboration. J balvin. two switches coke with a fucking mcflurry Travis Scott has added bacon to a quarter pounder. That’s all he fucking really did. I would take a fish filet Patty, put it in between a double cheeseburger, no cheese.
Mikko Miller 40:54
Add some ketchup. Put a tomato on top. With a large order of fries, six piece nuggets. And you know a large coke. McDonald’s Coke is like the best tasting soda to me like and I think they’ve done studies where for some reason McDonald’s coke has the perfect sweetener, perfect carbonation ratio, versus all the other Burger Kings and Taco Bells and stuff. Obviously, you can tell I love McDonald’s. So I’m pro Mickey D’s.
Calvin Tilokee 41:28
I’m gonna send that clip and clip the McDonald’s headquarters after this episode. All right, we’re gonna get a midlife crisis. Mickey D’s meal. That’s that’s on the bucket list. For 2021 I’m putting out on my vision board. We go have our own Mickey D’s meal. Market down.
Mikko Miller 41:49
That’d be dope. That’d be dope. phokeethra mc ribbon that we go with Addy on top of that fish release.
Calvin Tilokee 42:01
coalition the surf and turf. That’s right. What
Mikko Miller 42:03
the lingo wrong with it. There you go. You got some? You got some?,Hey, I like that.
Calvin Tilokee 42:11
Oh, Ben. Well, you know, listen to us, you would think 2020 was a hilarious year. So whenever you get depressed just listen to this episode. Yeah, there you go. all your troubles. But now it’s time for
I got one. Christmas fuckin cookies.
Mikko Miller 42:33
Because my, my Oh, my wife is making gingerbread cookies. I’m making fudge and those peanut butter cookies with the Hershey Kiss in the middle. Huh? She has all of this icing all over the place. Right in all of these containers. I thought the other night that it was mashed potatoes. reach in there. And I pull it out getting ready for some mashed potatoes. And then I see that it’s icing. And then I instantly one icing. And so I take a cookie and I dip it in the icing and I’m in seventh heaven. Mm hmm. And I know I’m going to end up being a big fat bastard. I’m going to have to start fucking working out again. You know, come January like everybody fucking house. Cookies. Kiss my ass right now. They’re my downfall.
Calvin Tilokee 43:23
Okay, I feel you man. See, you guys got it like me. The key is just never stop eating them. Don’t matter if it’s Christmas or not. Like green. Go. Don’t be mad at Christmas cookies. You just gotta hate cookies. Oh, it’s
Mikko Miller 43:43
so funny. You brought up food because mine was fruitcake.
Mikko Miller 43:48
I can’t stand that shit. I don’t know why people love it. Um, and do you guys love food cake? I don’t want to offend you guys, but I don’t like it.
Calvin Tilokee 43:56
I wouldn’t say I love it. I mean, I’ll eat it. But I would say I love it.
Mikko Miller 44:01
Is that like candy in there? What? What is that? Like so?
Calvin Tilokee 44:06
No, it’s candied fruit. So it’s like dried fruit. Yeah.
Mikko Miller 44:11
And I don’t I’m not a big fan.
I’ve had a couple of fruit cakes that were really bad. Like with like green and red cherries and images. Yes. Yeah, exactly. And, and that stuff. I can’t. I can’t do but my dad makes a fruitcake where he soaks all that dried fruit. He soaks it in brandy for a couple of days. And then he bakes it. He, I know for that I was pretty skeptical at first, and I was busting his balls about it. And he gave it to me it was it was incredible. But there are a lot of bad ones out there.
Calvin Tilokee 44:44
Yeah, sure. It’s one of those things they either really good. I think there’s like a 10% of fruitcakes that are really good, but most of them are just very average. Better Off. I don’t know.
Mikko Miller 44:57
I agree with that and make the other 90% Fuck you
Calvin Tilokee 45:04
Get off my lawn with that shit. my taste buds. Oh, man. So now I wish I had one food related. So we could have, you know, had the hat trick, but mine is a little different. So I’m on Twitter the other day, and I’m on Twitter, mostly, like sports, I follow athletes and shit like that to get updates that kind of thing, right? So is this really for fun, as I’m scrolling through, but every now and then somebody will like something else, and it shows up on your feed, and you end up reading some shit you just never intended to read. So the other day, I see this conversation where someone has a problem with Viola Davis, not getting the same credit as Joaquin Phoenix. So the background is Viola Davis just has a movie that came out called marinis black bottom, which is on Netflix. And she apparently gained a lot of weight to play that role. And then she suppose he lost all the weight and then some to be very fit to play a different role in an upcoming film. So this person was trying to make the case that you know what, why aren’t people speaking about her making that effort when Joaquin Phoenix got all of this publicity for, for Joker for doing the same thing for you know, being very skinny? And then you know, gaining and losing weight? And trying to make the case that oh, I wonder why like, it must be sexism, it must be racism. And I’m like, the fuck are you talking about? You know, it’s like this stuff. Got it. You at least it’s got to be equal before you can go there. All right. We’re talking about Joker. This was a blockbuster movie. Yes, starring Joaquin Phoenix is not like, and I’m not saying that to shit on Viola Davis. She’s an extremely great actress. But you want to know how I found out about this movie that she was doing. When I was trying to sell you earlier. We watch a Tyler Perry movie over the weekend. I was searching for it on Netflix. And this shit came up. And I was like, oh, Viola Davis is in a new movie. There’s no like publicity about this is not everywhere you went you read about Joker was a fucking blockbuster movie about one of the most famous characters we have. versus a movie that’s on Netflix that you just so happen to hear about. Come on. Yeah. I mean, now had she done a comparable movie? Has she been playing that woman and did the same thing? I’m sure she would have got a lot more credit, then maybe if she doesn’t get the same amount of credit. You could make that case? Right. So I typically don’t read the comments, because that’s where you does end up in conversations you don’t really ever want to be in but I did it. And then somebody somebody says, Yo, I never even heard of Joaquin Phoenix before Joker. I was like, Oh,
Mikko Miller 47:55
Calvin Tilokee 47:57
I had to take a break. Like I typically don’t respond. Like I don’t even read them most of the time. And then I was like a nine, but I was like I had to I was like, so no one’s heard of Gladiator. Yeah. nany nany. Also Gladiator. And then somebody responded, no. And I was like, well, then you don’t get an opinion on movies. fuckup Yeah, she like, and then it reminded me of a Chris Rock quote, where you stood at the Oscars. And they were talking about, you know, stop asking women what they’re wearing and everything sexism, everything in racism. The reason they not asking them in what they’re wearing, because we all wear the same shit. Yeah. George Clooney came in here with a bright yellow suit with a pigeon sticking out his as somebody would be like, so George was your wingman.
Stop trying to make a problem. Not everything. But yeah. Idiots. Get off my lawn with this fake racism, sexism everything in a problem. like you’d even watch the movie but you bitches shut. Shut up. Anyway, now it’s time for Mikko you saw that Dave Ramsey, so I’ll just do that.
Mikko Miller 49:19
Here we go.
Calvin Tilokee 49:22
So speaking of not knowing people, some of y’all I’m sure I’ve heard of Dave Ramsey, who, I didn’t even know who this clown was until last week. But apparently he’s a Christian financial guru who helps people get out of debt. Whatever. Yes. So apparently earlier this year, he was trying to organize a convention at a Marriott Hotel somewhere in the country. I’m not sure where it was, but he’s been promoting not weighing mass to his people. So the merrier long story short said now you’re not doing that shit here. We’re not doing business with you if you’re gonna if your people are not coming in following guidelines So he goes on a rant and says, Well, I’m not going to have my people paying $10,000 a ticket to have some $8 an hour tour at the front desk, tell them that they got to wear a mask. So, yeah, I mean, there’s a lot of bullshit there. But, you know, trying to judge someone based on how much money they make per hour. I mean, you’re a dick. All right. And, if not wearing masks and telling 1000s of people not to wear masks, and it’s, you know, it doesn’t matter if that doesn’t make you a dick. You know, trying to judge someone based on what they do for a living. makes you a real asshole. So, we’re just gonna keep this one real quick. I don’t like that jerk. Fuck you. Hope you catch COVID
Mikko Miller 50:49
Hey, Steve, you know, that was, you know, Dave Ramsey is? No. Oh, okay.
Calvin Tilokee 50:55
Good. You know, Suzy Orman?
Calvin Tilokee 51:01
This is the new version. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I give this financial advice. But Cece, Christian, right wing in whatever. I guess it never heard just dick until last week. But he’s, he’s a real piece of work. One in the audience, I
Mikko Miller 51:23
bet it’s like a fan because he does touch a lot of people with his get out of debt. You know, his little seminars and his little like tips and tricks, so someone’s gonna get triggered, which one of you fuckers is gonna get triggered by that? I want to know.
Calvin Tilokee 51:35
Well, you know, it’s, it’s interesting. I did, I shared it on my page. And I got a lot of responses to that. And 90% of them, like, even more and more like, 99% of them were like, fuck this guy. One person was actually, they were like, I work at the hotel where this happened. And you know, we were happy to see him go, because, you know, it’s bullshit. But this one person was like, she was surprised because I’m like, God, like, I follow him. And his advice is really great to help me get out of debt. And she was a little bit conflicted, because she’s like, Oh, my God, I didn’t know. He was like this. But I was like, Listen, you know, you follow the advice that doesn’t make his advice. Not sound. Right, you know, right. You know, he still gave you good advice. he happens to be an asshole. So that’s why you don’t really follow him. You follow the advice that he gave you, you know, but facts. Yeah. You know what? Straight facts.
I had a. I don’t like that jerk. Martin Shkreli. Oh, okay. He’s the pharma bro. If you remember him. So back in 2007. He jacked up the price of an AIDS drug overnight by 5000. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And they use defrauding investors and a Ponzi scheme in this whole bullshit, right? So he’s clearly a piece of shit. So he was in the news recently because this reporter from Bloomberg thought that he was such a catch that she left her husband for this guy. Oh, if I’m the husband, I mean, so my jerk the week is clearly farmer bro. I’m not going to mention his name again. But it’s that guy. But if I was the husband of the reporter who left I’d be seriously reevaluating everything that I do.
Calvin Tilokee 53:21
Yeah, man. She you definitely got to reevaluate your choices like you clearly have poor taste that women yeah
Mikko Miller 53:33
Since since we’re talking about people that defrauding I’ll add what unfuck general rule fire festival? Yeah, there
you go. Fucking
Calvin Tilokee 53:42
be with you.
He played the halftime show at a bulls game one time. Oh, yeah. All he was doing was singing the hook. He was fucking lame as can be. seen that right. Can
Mikko Miller 53:57
you see that?
Calvin Tilokee 53:59
Yeah. Oh, we really
Mikko Miller 54:04
quick I guess
T is a douchebag.
Calvin Tilokee 54:15
All right, now it’s time for this week’s guest. Mr. Steve back in the hot seat. We’ve worked or worked our way all the way back to you, sir. All right. Today’s question is, this company takes credit for inventing modern gift wrap. Dating to its sale a fancy decorated envelope linings at Christmas in 1917.
They invented gift wrapping.
Calvin Tilokee 54:55
Yes, they’re taken credit for inventing gift wrap.
It’s gotta be Hallmark.
Calvin Tilokee 55:01
Look at the big brain. Oh,
Mikko Miller 55:05
I would. I would have guessed all your smart
Calvin Tilokee 55:15
well done so well the Steve was too for too. Damn. We have to start keeping score on Instagram page so people should
they they invent all kinds of shit. I’m gonna make it you know? Today’s fly fart day Oh, that’s fucking amazing. Congratulate every fly that fucking fart in front of you. Great. I gotta get a big cake for Brendan. Oh, every fucking time
Mikko Miller 55:42
I made a whole Valentine’s people like Isn’t that like a whole harm Hallmark thing?
Hold back The Sweetest Day? Yes, it was the Hallmark thing. Oh,
Mikko Miller 55:51
One of the things I love about doing this with you guys is like I just get fired up over. I never thought that I get fired up over.
Mikko Miller 56:04
I didn’t wake up today thinking that I was gonna fired up about, you know, contributing to son’s birthday in an office?
Calvin Tilokee 56:19
Oh, you don’t matter? He just reminded me of a story. So I’ll start with a question. So in somebody’s birthday in the office, hmm. Do you buy the cake for that person for the office.
So when I worked in an office, if it was someone’s birthday, if it was someone on my team, we might go out and get lunch. And like, we’ll just chip in and they don’t pay. But I had a couple of managers that made like a big deal about their birthday. Like they wanted to celebrate the entire fucking week. And like, their team would get them presents for the whole, they’d like, enable this ridiculous behavior. But no, I’m you know, depending on how friendly we are, I mean, I’ll get you a cupcake or something. But I’m not making a big effort. If we’re not even friends. I’m not making a big effort.
Calvin Tilokee 57:13
Gotcha. Gotcha. So the reason I asked was because one time our Director of Sales, it was his birthday. And at the time he’s older guy. So at the time, he was having issues with like, what is sugar and stuff like that? So the reception is the person who was in charge of going out and getting the cake with everybody was partaking in said cake. She got a sugar free cake. And she was nasty as hell. So it was kind of like a like, people were complaining. I didn’t complain because I was like, I mean, I know she’s trying to do and it’s like, this guy’s this freak. He shut the fuck up. You know, it’s freaky. But yeah, I mean, it just don’t eat it. You know, don’t eat it. whine about it, you know, but at the same time, it was kind of like, didn’t have to get a whole big ass cake that was sugar free. You could have got a small one for him. And a regular cake for anybody else. Right, right. Like, right,
Mikko Miller 58:05
Calvin Tilokee 58:06
Anyway, office life, hashtag office life. Now it’s time for the Chris Rock quotes of the week
Mikko Miller 58:16
when he was talking about getting jobs, and you know, people doing stuff extra. And, you know, just kind of not having money complained about being broke. And he talks about like, a woman that got two kids going to work every day busting her ass hates a girl with nine kids getting a welfare check like bitch stop, fucking stop, fucking dig. Yes, you can get a job, get a job holding dicks, whatever you do get paid.
Calvin Tilokee 58:55
A job. Like what does a job hold? And like, do you just stand in men’s bathrooms like at the urinal? Like
Giuliani took that job?
Mikko Miller 59:08
Yeah, it does in real life to call fluffers best people in the world. Best people.
Calvin Tilokee 59:17
See, this is why we tell you at the top, this is the NSFW show. Yeah.
Mikko Miller 59:22
Does everybody know what a flipper does? Yeah, yeah, please go. Google that. Yeah, if
Calvin Tilokee 59:27
you’re gonna Google that, do not do it on your work laptop.
Mikko Miller 59:29
Please don’t. Please don’t just let me just say this. God bless these women. God bless. God bless.
Calvin Tilokee 59:44
You make the world a better place to live in.
Mikko Miller 59:54
That was a different skit, but yes, it pertains to it.
Calvin Tilokee 59:59
Man, Murphy mind goes back to my get off my lawn with this whole Twitter thing and people want to scream racism and all this shit and it’s like, when he was talking about this, it’ll make no sense to be racist. Because whatever you don’t like is gonna be in your family.You’re like gay people. You’re gonna have a gay son. You don’t like Puerto Ricans? Your daughter’s coming home with live in Puerto Rico
Mikko Miller 1:00:38
just love that shit.
Calvin Tilokee 1:00:40
I actually gonna be around forever.
Mikko Miller 1:00:48
it’s just gonna be a long time.
Calvin Tilokee 1:00:55
Oh, all right, guys, great show wrapping up 2020 here with the you know, some stories and some whatever you recap, recap, you know it’s 22 has been a long year so my brain is a little a little fucked up, but time for the outros. This is Calvin, aka Revparblems ref par travels, rapid growth and revparblems.com. And if you want to know how I keep that altogether, ref par media.
Mikko Miller 1:01:23
And this is Mikko the Filipino on the show. And you can catch me on Instagram at Mikko underscore eats.
And had Steve you can catch me every week on the midlife crisis podcast with Callen Mikko.
Calvin Tilokee 1:01:36
All right. Thank you for joining us on another episode of midlife crisis podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, please leave us a review on iTunes and tell a friend see what we’re up to in between episodes on Instagram at midlife crisis podcast show notes for this and all episodes are available on midlife crisis podcast comm where you can also sign up for the mailing list. Drop us a note let us know what topics you’d like us to discuss. Thanks for tuning in, and we’ll catch you in the next one. Let’s go